Suspicious deaths are always a tangled web. I’m going to cite a few. I hate to bore my readers like this, but I’m setting a stage here. Bear with me.

Weeks after the fiery death of investigative journalist Michael Hastings (shown), who was probing abuses by the CIA and NSA and had recently informed others that he was being investigated by federal authorities, suspicions about his mysterious car crash are still swirling around the Internet. While police officially ruled the death an “accident,” serious questions are still surfacing — even in the establishment media and among prominent officials. Based on e-mails Hastings sent out shortly before he died about working on a “big story” and needing to go “off the radar,” it has become clear that he was worried, too.(New American)

February 12 – David Carr, former NYT columnist has died Thursday after collapsing in newsroom from massive stroke after meeting with Edward Snowden.

February 12 – Former NBC foreign correspondent Ned Colt also dies Thursday of stroke at age 58.


Two Automobile Accidents in Two Days, One Death

February 11 – NEW YORK — Bob Simon, the longtime “60 Minutes” correspondent and legendary CBS News foreign reporter died suddenly Wednesday night in a car accident in New York City.


February 12 – Longtime NBC News correspondent Bob Hager was involved in a head-on collision near his home in Vermont Thursday. Hager was uninjured; his wife, Honore, was hospitalized with back and neck injuries. According to a report by local station WCAX, Hager and his wife were traveling on Route 11 in Peru, Vermont, when another car crossed the center line and hit Hager’s car head-on.

Hager, best known for his coverage of aviation, retired from NBC in 2004 after 35 years and settled in his native Woodstock, Vermont.

Did you ever hear the tale of the blind men touching different parts of an elephant, trying to figure out what the animal is? One touches the tail, another the trunk, and one feels a leg. They all claim the elephant is something different, yet it’s just the same large bovine. The government is a little like that. There are a lot of “littles.” In this tangled tale of intrigue, and it’s all slanted toward a common goal, to reconstruct America in order to conform to an agenda perpetrated by someone who’s feet are not planted firmly on American soil. The perfect end product of an out of control leftist movement that’s been stewing for fifty years. The most un-American person who ever ate in the White House. The liar’s liar. Barak Obama!

When Hillary didn’t take the phone call from Benghazi that night, and just rolled over and went back to sleep, she was just follow the party line. When Holder set up a gun shop down in the border with discounts for the cartels he was just doing his boss’s bidding. When the Supreme Court allowed tigers to marry chairs they were paying homage to the most perverse administration that ever came to Washington, and boys and girls that’s going some ‘cause there’s been some hum-dingers up there!

Lemme tell ya some more.  Forget Michael Brown, he was a thug. Kinda forget Trayvon Martin. That was just a fight between a Mexican and a black guy, and I’m from Texas, I can tell you, them boys never did get along. Think about Lavoy Finicum. He challenged this abomination. He faced the Devil. He put a crack in the wall. He had to go, just like those journalists I cited at the first of this article. All the nonsense about did he have a gun, did he pull it, did he this, did he that; it’s all spin. Consider this. He got stopped. He drove away. The road block was already there! Tracks all over the snow. People already in place. This event showed the teeth of the beast. Lavoy had touched a nerve, and the beast couldn’t let that go on. That’s why Lavoy Finicum was killed. That’s why you should be very afraid. That’s why Donald Trump needs to go to the White House.

The leftists are already saying that Trump will be a disaster. Well, he will for them. With their hidden agendas, their lies, their perversions, their agenda to make America less again, they can’t have Trump in office. Obama Is so concerned about global warming, but the new spill by British Petroleum in the Gulf of Mexico doesn’t bother him at all, in fact he has boosted ATF and FBI presence there just to keep reporters out! You didn’t know that, did you? MSM missed that one. Well, I have a man on the ground there, and I hope to have pictures for you some day.

Are you starting to see that elephant now? Well, it’s not an elephant, it’s a wooly mammoth, and it’s time we make that puppy extinct! William Barrett Travis has now drawn his line in the sand for three hundred million Americans, and they’re all standing there scratching their butts. Well, brothers and sisters, the enemy is at the walls, and if you don’t believe that I’m not a white boy from Austin.


Get Obama a Green Card

The CEO of Apple said this weekend that he was against the government slicing through encryption and observing private files of his customers. This all came about because the powers that be want to get yet more power to spy upon Americans in a supposed effort to ward off terrorism. Never mind the long list of failures over the last year or so, as ISIS has its way with the world, if they can just hack into “Plenty of Fish” everything is gonna be OK.
I told you in an article previous this last week that I’d watched some YouTube videos by an ex-cop. Well, in one of those videos he addressed the question about giving your Social Security number to an officer. He explained (for about twenty minutes) all the things the cop knows about you by the time he walks up to your window, the officer is privy to your ID, your car, it’s repairs, your address, your neighbors, your criminal history, the name of your dog, and who your daughter had an affair with last week! Now this is just a beat cop. God help you when the detectives get ahold of you. And all of this is not enough to pick out some guy and gal, dressed in a clown suit, with a trunk full of ammunition, jabbering in Arabic. I feel so protected and served.
I have some ideas that might increase national security. First off, we gotta be a little bit racist. I know, I know, it’s not politically correct, but the good ship reality comes into port when some wench careens all over the Vegas Strip screaming, “Allahu Akbar.” First, don’t let any more Arabs into the country. To the best of my knowledge, during WWII, we didn’t throw the doors open to Germans and Japanese. We even put the Japanese into camps. Shut the front door! We really did that, but you know what? They didn’t find one mass grave when it was all over. We are at war with a whole bunch of little brown people which their heads screwed on backwards. I’ve seen so many ISIS killings that I’ve began to critique them. I actually evaluate the style. I admire the courage of someone on their knees waiting while some guy rants on and on about God knows what, but that’s another story. If you try to put me on my knees, they may get me, but at least one Ali-Babble is gonna share his virgins with me!
As for the southern border. Everyone is so caught up in terrorists coming over the southern border because they look Mexican. I have a solution, and Glenn Beck, I said it first so sit down! Tell El Chappo you will pay $10,000 for every Muslim ear he sends you. Compared to a war the cost will be minimal, and would enhance Mexican/American relations, what with us being more agreeable to the guy who’s really running Mexico.
No welfare for Arab immigrants. They can open a Quickie Mart just like all the rest. If Islam is so great, and they are so smart, then they should be able to outdo the rest of us in no time. Jews coming here after WWII shot right up to the top 50% of the wealth in this country. Surely, they are as smart as the Jews, right? An immigrant is someone who comes to blend into a country, not drag the old country with them, else, why did they leave in the first place? And, finally, we seriously do need to issue Obama a green card.

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Stupid is the New Black

Do you remember, back in the day, when George Bush jumped on Iraq? He spent days pulling together a coalition of allies and then gave Saddam forty-eight hours to get out of town, and if that’s not cowboy style then I’m not a white boy from Austin! He got agreements from all of our allies, arranged sea ports, landing strips, and support systems to mount a coordinated attack. Obama has a completely different view of our situation. Not only is he turning a blind eye to a massive Syrian invasion, he actually turned down France’s invitation to join in their attack on ISIS. Putin compared negotiations with him to playing chess with a pigeon, where the pigeon knocks over all the pieces, poops on the board, and then struts around like it won the match. President Obama as effectively changed our national symbol from a Bald Eagle to a Yellow Bellied Sap Sucker!
ISIS is in full swing. It’s positively amazing how this administration steps back, watches a well-orchestrated attack that kills over one hundred people, and suggests that it might be terror connected. I’m a Simple Ol’ Boy from Austin, not a Stupid Ol’ boy from Austin! Everybody is wondering if perhaps the President is a closet Muslim. Well, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it must be a duck, and Obama’s been quacking for years. I see so many lame brained things spewing out of the White House that I don’t even bother to read them anymore. It’s almost like he gets up every morning and runs through the constitution to see what he can tear up today.
We are at war, people! I want to point out something. ISIS doesn’t attack with divisions. It hits with a few people and disrupts everything. If we had employed their tactics Texas would have won the battle of the Alamo. Nineteen guys brought the country to a halt. Something around that number numbed France. Belgium is shut down right now because ISIS burped. See my point. This would be like Texas closing for business because Bonnie and Clyde robbed a gas station, and it all comes back to one thing. The fool on the hill! The world looks at this situation and wonders what is wrong with us? As bad as they hate us, it was always understood that in a pinch, we will come out fighting.
Political correctness will be the death of us. Stupid is the new black. Congress showed some fortitude when it passed that anti-immigration legislation, flying in the face of Obama’s veto threat, but we need more. Do you realize if just the Senators from the states refusing Syrian refugees were to vote for impeachment Obama would be gone? The world is watching. If Russia and France clean up this mess, and we hang back the die is cast. America is no longer a world power. And use your common sense. Look at the refugees. When the boats came in from Cuba there were women and children, old men, and some younger men. An even sprinkling of a society. Obama said the Syrians were three year olds and widows. I saw the news clips. They were even marching in formation.
I issued a plea four days ago for the Texas militia to organize and go to ground. I repeat that plan. Obama will sit back and watch the hordes of enemy soldiers hit the beach at Galveston, while he ponders his golf game. We have to do this ourselves. We have to pick up the torch. I will admit that not all the refugees are ISIS, but remember. . . nineteen guys! That’s all it takes. One guy to put anthrax in the water supply, One in the White House to bring down a nation. That’s all it takes.

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Get a President This Time

The Republican Party has long since moved away from any kind of representation of its constituents into full blown hypocrisy. There was a time when a dynamic personality would come along and take the populace by storm, and the party would leap to the task. Did someone say, “Eisenhower?” Everyone knew he was going to be president, all they had to do was wait for the election to make it official. Reagan too! So now we have Donald Trump. What amazes me is all the losers in the party who have so much to say about what he says, yet have nothing to say about what they think would be a better idea. The Tea Party came about just to get away from idiots like that.
Let’s look at this. Trump doesn’t want illegal aliens here. Jeb Bush is worried about offending illegal aliens. We know he likes aliens. Did someone say nineteen hijackers? Now, I realize Jeb is from Florida, with Miami being the largest city in Cuba, but do we let illegals vote? I mean when did they get a voice? The party brass responds in concert about how Trump’s ideas won’t work as thousands upon thousands of people flock to his speeches. In contrast the Democrats all rally around Hillary, as she washes the blood from her hands, and shove a two by four up her butt to keep her standing up.
I voted Republican because I believe in family values. I don’t give a flip about gay marriage, I just want the CPS to quit stealing and selling our kids to pedophiles. Forget Planned Parenthood, defund the CPS. They steal so many kids they can’t find software powerful enough to keep up with them all. Family values is what attracts me to Trump. The vain hope that the country just may get stronger, mom’s apple pie will be back in the window sill, and Bruce Gender will not be the woman of the year.
Then, of course, there’s the specter of Mitt Romney. Now, I’m going to be blunt here so you might as well get your crying towels out! Way back in California, in the desert, with a bottle of Jim Beam, I told you people why Romney would never win. He’s a Mormon. Swat them bees, swat them bees. Three things worked against him. First, of course, being a Mormon. For all the spin they are still the polygamous cult out in the desert that sends people to your door. Second, being a Mormon, he was squeaky clean. That’s not human. Trump, by contrast, is not that clean. He marries beautiful foreign girls, has a drop dead gorgeous daughter and makes tons of money. Third, my mother told me that it was almost impossible to unseat a sitting president. Obama is bad, yes, but he’d been in office for four years and Americans just don’t like to change horses in mid-stream. The Republicans had to run somebody so they picked a guy that would look good giving a concession speech.
Well, the landscape has changed. Obama is going to retire. The hope of the Democrats is a woman with more scandals than Mylie Cyrus, and Trump is taking the country by storm. The perfect storm. So why the party brass can’t just shut up and let this pony run? Because (now pay attention) we really have a one party system, that’s why. They get together and run a Mormon against a seated president and stood back snake amazed when Obama played basketball with his head. It was always in the cards, folks. Supposed to happen that way. Trump, on the other hand, is a spoiler. He doesn’t owe the brass or any special interest groups a cent, has his own ideas, even his own plane. What we’ll have is Teddy Roosevelt on steroids in the White House, if he even moves in. Someone who, when facing the Chinese at negotiation tables, will be the same New York real estate broker who’s been screwing them for years.
Right now the Republican Party is wearing out political favors to ruin Trump. And forget Ben Carson. After Obama, I don’t think any of us alive now will live to see another black president, and that’s sad because Carson is a good man. He’s going to make a fine surgeon general. Col West will make a great Atty General, and Cruz will round out the team as vice president. All spoilers! What the Republican Party wants is to run something like Bush, or Rubio so that Hillary will be a shoe in. That way the dynasty continues, and the game remains the same. We don’t need that. Let’s just get a president this time.

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth

The liberal left is amazed at Donald Trump’s rise in the polls, but it’s so simple. While the liberals have been repeating lies for six years, and Americans have had to eat them someone came along and simply said what we all believe. I shot down the race card tactic two days ago, and that in and of itself was ninety percent of the liberal argument. In all the bashing tweets that I got not one addressed any issues, not one. They zeroed in on Trump’s border comments and never even gave a tip of the hat to the fact that we need to have the same border security that all countries enjoy. Well, libtards, the party is OVER! You got your gay marriage, you got to wreck the healthcare system, and you killed more babies than two world wars. You can run along now, we’ll deal with you later, and we WILL deal with you!

If Trump doesn’t lose heart he’s going to blitz Hillary and send her home to await charges. People who don’t even like him will vote for him just to watch the fun. Can you just imagine people waving their ObamaPhones in the air, looking for a signal that’s no longer there? And liberals are all going to have to answer for their sins. There is going to be wailing, and gnashing of teeth when it all comes down because they’re going to have to go to work! As the outrage of the American people gains momentum good people will rise, and the retribution on gays, baby killers, and invaders will be terrible. The great social experiment has failed. Obama will be on the next flight back to Kenya.

People have been afraid to even speak out. That was Donald’s main gift to the American people, he spoke up! The Liberals have controlled the media, controlled the White House, controlled the courts for so long that they have created the illusion that they are a majority. Well they’re NOT! WE ARE! Look around, look at your family, would YOU kill a baby? Do you want your children or grandchildren to grow up to be gay? Do you really want to give up all hope of self defense? Of course you don’t! And liberals call us “racists!” Well, we ARE! We’ve learned to be racist about liberals over the last six years. The very idea of SCOTUS licensing sodomy. And turning the Alamo over to the UN . . . are you KIDDING me? Tearing down the Confederate flag, and running the Rainbow flag up to replace it. And THAT’S not racism? Wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

And it’s gonna be FUN! When you see a gay march, and the people show up and march BACK! When rioters start burning and looting and the PEOPLE show up with baseball bats. When a president goes through the White House door and does what he says he’ll do! America will rise. The border will be secure because people will know that it STANDS for something. Right now they look at America and all they see homosexuals and weak legislators. They think that’s US! Well that’s NOT us. The rancher in West Texas . . . that’s us. The stock broker on Wall Street . . . that’s us. The wine maker in Temecula, California . . . THAT’S US!

China’s stock market crashed yesterday, did you know that? Game over! They never had an economy anyway. Greece went broke. So what. Charge a buck to see the Parthenon. Get over it. Some thug got capped for assaulting a police officer. Good shot! Pablo hanging limp on the fence between Texas and Mexico. That’s not sex, but it’s damn close! And the majority of Americans agree with these things. They’ve just bought into the liberal lies. . . until a man stepped up last week and said, “Enough!” And it was enough. And the people cast their eyes toward the White House, and behold, the Emperor had no clothes! And began the wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

Morgan Freeman for President

I just love being politically incorrect, no, really, I do. To be politically correct you have to do all the updates, and if you miss one, your mouth crashes! In fact, I would go as far to say that I go out of my way to be incorrect.. I WORK on it. I find everything from using the term, “The ‘N’word” to gay marriage, to voting for Obama funny as hell. And school teachers? OMLG! Take the case just this week where that kid got thrown out of school just because he said he didn’t like Obama, and the principle said that he would NOT tolerate INtolerance in his school. PANTIES CHECK! Did that happen in California? If it didn’t, it should have. It amazes me that in a state with so many beautiful women there aren’t any men.

Do you want to know why politically correct people always play the race card? Because they ain’t got nothing else! Let me check . . . used the word, “ain’t,” double negative . . . yep, I’m rolling today. This is what happens when I DON’T drink! Anyway, I digress. You can’t say anything about Obama without the race card hitting the table. Guy doesn’t have any policy, wouldn’t know the constitution if it ran up and peed on his leg, runs around with people like Kerry and Hillary, and has a wife who seriously needs to just stay in the White House. Obama’s not a race card, he’s a race DECK!

I do like some things about the president. He drinks Bud Lite and smokes cigarettes. And don’t tell me he quit smoking . . . Look at him! Boy talks good too. (How’d you like that word, “boy?”) Somebody STOP me! You want a black president so bad, I have a suggestion, Morgan Freeman! He’s played the president in a couple of films, and heck, that’s all Obama does . . . PLAY president. Funny thing was in the movie, “Olympus Has Fallen,” Morgan was more constitutional than the real deal! Ain’t that a hoot! Who was the last actor we had in the White House?

Putin’s not politically correct. He’s just a butthole through and through. BiBi is too. I think this Cameron guy in England might be, but I don’t know. You gotta watch them Limeys. Oh, who said that? I meant the “L” word. Usually, when things get this messed up the Krauts jump up and try to take over the world. Remember Adolph? The last great white boy? Y’all swatting them bees yet?

There will always be people who have nothing to say, so they try to apply rules to restrict what you have to say. If you say anything about Obama the FIRST thing that comes out of a liberal’s mouth is, “You just sayin’ dat cause he’s black!” No, first off he’s half black, and second he’s a freaking idiot! No, I take that back, he’s not an idiot, he’s the best the liberals could come up with.

So let’s look at the upcoming race. In the last two we voted based on complexion, this next one we’ll shoot for genitailia . I assume Hillary’s a woman because she’s got a kid that looks just like her. What do you get when you cross breed two crooked lawyers? CHELSEA! At least Obama’s daughters are cute! And no matter WHAT she does, Hilliary is doing the presidential shuffle. Do you want to know how screwed up this country really is? Last night Bobby Ritter and I did a one on one on the Rage Against the Regime Podcast, and we ended up talking about what a great guy Al Capone was! Now if that’s not a cluster screw I’m not a white boy from Austin! I crappith thee not! We ended up actually MISSING Al. Interesting thought; Al Capone’s solution to ISIS. Your thoughts?

You gotta laugh, folks. If you let this stuff get to you there isn’t enough blood pressure medicine in the world! In 1933, if two fools showed up to kill people at an art show because they were drawing pictures of some foreigner, Roosevelt would have every Muslim in a camp the next DAY! We did that just because people had slanted eyes. Ah, the good old days. Will America survive? Hell no! Have you lost your freaking mind? And stop worrying about Jade Helm. The cartels ain’t gonna let that get out of control. I just love being politically incorrect!

Banana Boats

I said yesterday that I was taking the weekend off to celebrate the holiday. I lied! Got up this morning with something on my mind. Ted Cruz has ignited the political scene more than back when Washington was kicking those chunks of ice out of the way in the Delaware. The ladies, oh God I hate to use that term for them, on the “View” even saw fit to take off after him the very next day. Whoopie Goldberg was the lead dog. Whoopie’s movie career is in the toilette so she became a political scientist. She could always star in a remake of “Predator.” She’s GOT the hair!

Liberals in America have held sway for far too long, and we conservatives have been too busy paying for their Obama phones to launch much of an attack, but in the words of the song, “Times, they are a-changing!” The newly endowed Republican house and Senate was the American people serving an eviction notice to the radical left that solid, red blooded American CHRISTIANS were fed UP! I agree with Doc Greene on that in former days when a republican went to congress, after a bit, they would morph into a RINO (Republican in name only) but the landscape has changed. When one finds oneself amongst a bunch of fools, and if you wish to survive, you try to blend in and not make waves. When in Rome, do as the Romans. Stupid is as stupid does. Well, there’s a new sheriff in town. First off, most of the newly elected members ran on conservative principles. That was the message sent to Washington. When they arrived, the dinosaurs were still munching weeds in the swamp and completely missed that comet. Did you think they were all going to pack up their boyfriends and run to California? That tail had been wagging the dog so long the dog had mange!

The newly installed had to get their “legs.” They had to learn everything from procedure to the quickest way to beat traffic and get to work. They had the conservative spirit, they just needed a “happening” guy to show them how to apply that spirit. Enter Ted Cruz! Under his direction the Republican majority will begin to feel their oats and exert the power they really have. And the spirit of conservatism is breaking out all over the country. The Indiana religious freedom law is a prime example. The Gays, who never miss an opportunity to wave their underwear for CNN, went into a feeding frenzy. Cakes still ain’t getting baked, girls! Hey, I’m all for equality. Why don’t you ladies stride into a biker bar in Houston and order up a beer. See how THAT works out for ya!

Liberty is malignant and will become metastatic once it takes hold. The chemo of liberal thought won’t help! Once the American people get used to the idea that consecrative values CAN be enforced there will be a virtual orgy of freedom breaking out. For years good, solid, conservative representatives have held back because they knew the power over in the Grand Mosque, I mean the White House, would just strike another executive order and shoot it all down. Well, how’d that last budget fare? Congress is talking BACK! The Republican senators who penned that letter to Iran told the truth, and now they are all cocked back getting ready to demonstrate that truth to a nation that has done nothing but lie since its conception. They want a nuclear weapon so bad, President Cruz will give ’em one!

Of course, their are those who will say Ted isn’t eligible to run, but I think the abomination of the last six years have put that theory to rest, don’t you? Obama can’t even count the stars on Old Glory. Fifty-seven? And we KNOW he can’t spell R E S P E C T! Obama portrayed himself as a constitutional lawyer. Ted Cruz IS a constitutional lawyer. AND he shows up for work! So, what do they attack next? Ted Cruise is a Christian, and they claim that means he thinks the world is six thousand years old. Obama tips his hat to Islam, where a Muslim cleric wanted the movie, “Gravity” pulled off the market because it showed the earth as round, and THAT offended Muslims! Swat them bees, swat them bees! Liberals go on and on about the separation of church and state while they pound every cockamamie Islamic illogic down our throats every day! I believe in the separation of church and state too, so why don’t we put all the Muslims on a banana boat BACK to the Sahara?

And his opponent? Hillary (I haven’t told the truth since my mama’s water broke) Clinton. The perfect storm. I’d be surprised if she didn’t produce evidence proving she’s just a little bit black. Heck, when you can blow up an American embassy and dump thirty thousand emails that would be no big trick at all. I’d like her to produce medical documents proving she’s a WOMAN! You want to hear real black voices? Then you should listen to the Apostle Claver, John David Manning, and Herman Cain. VOTE, VOTE, VOTE! Let’s give the liberals the thrashing they’ve had coming for YEARS. And liberals, there’s still room on those banana boats!

Obama, Jesus, and Crackheads

Ok, let’s do some math. We, here at RER, tend to look like conspiracy theorists at times with the way we ride Obama, but, as usual, I’m going to boil it all down to a bowl of chili just for y’all. I had to just look at the President in a proper light, the right filter, and his actions made perfect sense. First, a little background. I had four sons. Bobby, my youngest was a fine film producer. He was like Michael Moore in one respect, that cost him a fatal heart attack back in ’07, and we miss him greatly. Michael, joined the Marines, but a bad ear put him out. He signed up as a contractor and spent three years in Afghanistan rooting out Taliban. He is now a deputy sheriff back here in Texas. Then, of course, there’s Wilbur, the Chief! Oh, my bad, the MASTER Chief! Eight tours of the Gulf, and over there right NOW! Finally, we have Timmy. Every family has one, and Timmy is ours. Timmy is a crackhead, and THAT’S why I completely understand Barak Obama!

If you analyze what Obama is doing it all makes perfect sense, especially in the light of his explanations. You must understand his constituency. When Timmy gets out of jail, oh, he’s currently “in” right now, we measure Timmy’s life as being either “in” or “out”, he comes to the house, eats, and gets right on the phone. He’s usually gone within two hours, claiming he is going to see one of his many “ladies.” On the way out the door he always steals something. You would be amazed. This last time it was a Pad, whereupon he will sell, or trade it for a “rock” and we’ll see him in three or four days. When we ask what happened to the Pad we will get a tirade of angry words about his horrible childhood, how Michael got the biggest pork chop, or it was his to steal after all he’s done for us. Now, if you can connect those dots then understanding Obama is a snap! Obama supporters are a bunch of crackheads!

Now please note, I did NOT say Obama was a crack head. He’s a crack PUSHER! That’s why he can try to suspend the Second Amendment, yet, at the same time, throw the doors open for the very people who knocked down the World Trade Center! That’s how he can institute a health care plan that destroys health care. That’s how he can fund something like ISIS, and then turn around and tell the country that Radical Islam doesn’t exist. His entire administration has been a contradiction of terms. PERFECT for the crackheads who voted him in! AND he’s from Chicago, and that can’t be good.

Also, the birth certificate thing. Have you ever seen a crackhead being arrested? I don’t care what charge they are arrested for, failure to produce ID, or coming up with a false ID always heads the list. And his wife? All I’m going to say is whenever you find a crack pusher, and he has a girl . . .well, there you are! Obama plays golf . . . TIMMY plays golf! The comparisons go on and on. Our biggest problem is those five hundred or so OTHER crackheads running the government over in the congress and senate.

The one difference between Obama and Timmy is Jesus. Timmy falls back on that at every opportunity, but let me explain. You see, while “in” the crackhead will always “find” Jesus. Whenever Obama finds himself painted into a corner he will invoke some religious terminology in order to placate the masses. Timmy does it like this. Long about the third or fourth visit he will say, “I’ve found Jesus!” The first dozen times or so we would buy into that. I mean, you know, you have to. If you believe in Jesus you have to have faith that He CAN turn lives around, but a good sip of reality is required. The last time he told me that I said, “Really? Gee! I thought that boy would have made parole by now!”

Swimming Naked

Alrighty then! Back into the fray. Get your forks out ’cause this is a gonna be good, and Crystal, I know you can’t print this one, but every now and then you just gotta swim naked! Clears the head, don’t you know? Yesterday Benjamin Notarealjew gave a speech before a joint session of congress. Now, I must admit I didn’t listen to it. I never listen to politicians. Politicians are all liars, and the top politician is just the top liar, but I did watch all the fall out. Hey, I’ve never watched a single Super Bowl, but I’ve recorded all the commercials, I’m weird, ok?

I picked up one line from ABC News where he gets on that, ” Never Again” thing, and I thought that was . . . special. Anyway, down at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave our current house . . . I mean President was hiding in a closet sucking on a Marlboro spewing something about “No Fair!” But that’s not made it funny, folks, that’s not what made it funny.

For six years Obama has been ripping and tearing at the Constitution, sucking up to every Sheik who owns a camel, playing golf during every state funeral (unless you’re a homeboy in Ferguson) and providing Marriott accommodations to every wetback who ever swam the river. Now, when some guy comes over and says he’s a long legged Mac Daddy (tip of the hat to Dr. John David Manning) his minions turn out in droves screaming about “America” and “our president” and “degrading the power of his office!” I saw so many American flags I thought it was a VFW beer party! Dudes! Didn’t you JUST tell us the Muslims don’t like to see those things in public any more?

Obama is so weak, his logic is so skewed, his understanding of this country, and how it really works is so off key that any haberdasher from Brooklyn could give a speech and his ca ca will go to water! I Crappith Thee NOT! Of course he paraded the token white guy, John Kerry, around talking about sensitive talks with Iran. Here’s Kerry’s plan. He wants to give Iran ten years to develop a nuke in peace so they’ll be able to blow Israel to hell and back right proper. Do you honestly think these camel jockeys are just going to sit on their hands for ten years, eating shish k bob, because if you do have I got a bridge for you, and it’s on SALE!

Netanyahu lives in the real world. Those are real religious nuts with real nukes looking at him. He can’t afford to sit back and discuss subtle ideology and suppositions. And, before you liberal, homosexual, gun hating, Obama loving fools start in about how Israel “took” that land away from them poor old Palestinians, let me remind you; if you ain’t got a feather in your hair, and work in a casino go HOME, cause this ain’t IT! Now swat them bees!

Smoke Belching Ass Guns

I’ve finally come to a center line on what Barak Obama is doing to the American public! In an article from “Today I Found Out” I learned that there was a medical procedure used in the 1700’s, now work with me on this, and save your fork, for certain maladies, and even a test for death. Seems there was this bellows. The doctors had theorized that most times a confusion of the mind, constipation, consumption, and many sorts of illnesses resulted from the body being in need of being dried out. We would call it fluid retention, and as you know this IS a problem that a lot of people take prescriptions for even today. Well, noble ancestors had a quick fix. You see, they lit a cigar, filled the bellows with smoke, and inserted it, you guessed it, right up the old kazoo! I crapith thee NOT! Then, with a quick contraction of the bellows, the colon would fill with a King Edward ( or what ever they had back then) and the skies would clear, the angels would sing, and the patient would be up and running yet again! Uh, it worked particularly well for constipation.

Then it dawned on me. Somehow Obama got hold of this technique and using his power as President, he found a way to administer this en masse! It works like this, and if you’re stupid enough to buy into alien abduction this should be a breeze. The CIA has these laser powered smoke guns. Any time Obama gives a speech the Secret Service has some guys looking like they’re watching the President. Now, the smoke guns shoot this imperceptible smoke ring up to fifty feet. It can penetrate clothing, and find its way to the anal cavity where it does it’s work on sedating the reasoning portion of the brain. It works particularly well on gay men. After enough time a great number of people have had enough smoke blown up their asses to actually effect an election. Obama’s been blowing smoke up our asses for YEARS! This also may account for the rise in colon cancer.

This is the only explanation for the acceptance of the American public of Fast and Furious, Benghazi, Obamacare and Obama losing those two sones that he said looked just like him! How can we fight this? Well, those who believe they have been so violated can go to their local pharmacy and purchase any number of stop smoking gums, pills, or whatever, and whenever Obama is in the area, before attending the event, just insert it into the proper orifice. This should alert the body and minimize the effects of the smoke belching ass-gun. This will not work for people in Ferguson because they’ve had so much smoke blown up their asses that the whole town caught fire!

You must always be aware that seemingly ancient technology can be adapted for a modern use. I’m going to be on the lookout for other methods used to dupe the American public. Until then, if you find yourself making sense out of anything Obama says just have someone sniff your butt. If it smells like a Corona . . . there you are!