19 Kids and Counting

Now and then I come upon a subject that even I find hard to approach. Two words; Duggar Family! Like everyone else I scanned across the news items about the molestation that allegedly occurred years ago. Y’all like that word, “allegedly?” I’m getting sophisticated and I use words like that. Like I’ve been “allegedly” married six times. Anyway, back in the day it seems the older brother, Josh, went and touched SOMEbody’s poody poo. In fact, I understand he touched FIVE poody poos on selected occasions.

I NEVER watched 19 Kids and Counting for a number of reasons. First off, it’s a reality show. People, reality shows are NOT reality, ok? They are scripted, choreographed television productions with millions of dollars poured in to give the illusion of reality, and if you believe they are spontaneous real situations have I got a duck call for YOU! Also, THIS reality show was dumb. Yeah, I just said that. Common sense tells me when all the women crowd around a TV set to watch anything men should NOT get involved. I know little to nothing about the through lines of the show, but I suspect it revolved around a house full of kids somewhere in Arkansas, and frankly I had to Google that before penning this article.

Anyway, this Josh fellow touched his sisters and three other girls around about the time he was fourteen or so. Let’s see, Arkansas, fourteen year old boy, house full of girls . . . Wow! Never saw THAT coming. So I suppose it all came out over the supper table and the dad, “Jim Bob” and wifee dragged the little prick down to the Baptist church to be rebaptized. Must’ve worked because he apparently restrained his sex life to a dirty magazine and a paper towel after that, eventually getting married (I guess)’to some chick who was as whacked out as he was, and they commenced working on THEIR 19 and counting.

Now that I’ve beat up this white trash I’d like to point out that they are not good examples of southern white trashery. Jim Bob (couldn’t he have found a better name?) was a real estate broker, a state representative and I know NOTHING about his significant other, but I just imagine she was made from the same plastic that every other woman around the country is who hooks up with a guy like that. Also, you don’t negotiate yourself into a contract with a major production company in Hollywood at a tractor pull! They were just like Bill and Hillary. Well, maybe not that trashy.

The show centered around serving dinner, walking down the street, and talking about their faith, and I’m quite sure when Josh fell all over his sister that night he was rummaging through her room trying to find his misplaced Bible. You must ask yourself, if the incident was so far back, and the kid was a juvenile, what’s the problem? Well, there are several, actually. Please remember we are in a politically correct, liberal society. First, regardless of the incestuous nature of the liaison, it WAS between a boy and a girl. VERY politically incorrect. Josh should have slipped into sissy’s room to borrow a blouse for an upcoming date. Next, there were so MANY kids and not one decent abortion in the house. I’m frankly surprised that CPS and Planned Parenthood didn’t file a class action law suit. Can you just imagine? A woman with no other talent in the world other than making babies. What happened to her potential? And finally, they were Christian! Shut the FRONT door! This event would have been so much easier to solve, had they been Muslim. Just drag those two little fluzzies out in the Arkansas woods and bash their brains out with a brick. Teach THEM to sleep in their beds with panties and a t-shirt!

The Duggars FIXED the problem. Billy Joe Jim Bob took his son to the preacher. He didn’t condone the action, and he most certainly didn’t act like Sons of Guns Will Hayden, who introduced his twelve year old daughter to his own version of a “smoking gun,” he took the kid, got him some help, and frankly, the boy came through it. Liberals hate that, especially when Jesus gets all involved and they have to look at that “first stone” stuff. But these same well rounded people will tell their kids that Bruce Gender is a “hero.” No one went to jail. Little girls still love their brother. CPS, APS, DPS, and ASPCA didn’t get involved, denying some REAL pedophile access to those two little ladies, family remained intact, and it didn’t cost you a cent! Talk about a win-win. I’m an old Texas reptile-bait, and even I like it! I’d probably watch the show now ‘cept for one little problem. TLC pulled it!

That’s right! When a little too much reality came into their “reality” show, TLC did what all communist, gay, Muslim loving, main stream, politically correct lie factories do, they turned tail and ran! They had a chance to address an issue of importance, with some apparently real people, and they dropped the ball worse than Tony Dorset on a Sunday afternoon. And the story is good! The solution is real, and it worked, it just didn’t fit into the Obamanation.

The Duggars had a message for us all, but we’ll never see it because it is Christian, heterosexual, American family. As a family they addressed an issue, which, I might add, did not fester for years, the kid was ashamed, but not MADE ashamed for being a human being, and the family healed. People like the Duggars are special, and they’re not a dying breed, I mean, my GOD! They have 19 kids at a time. Sorry for Party Rocking!

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin