Stand By For News!

I spent an entire day yesterday watching the furor over the Confederate flag. I could have put my time to better use, I can assure you, but every story, every note, every status on Facebook had a flag on it. The GAYS even have a flag! I didn’t know that. I personally think it should be pink, but what do I know, right?

Then came a story that ISIS has invented a new way to kill people, three new ways, actually, and if you know me, I made a tuna sandwich, a pitcher or martinis, and went looking for that! Then, of course the story about Obama selling Kansas to the Chinese, Hilliary has dated Yoko Ono, and Bruce Gender had her first period! Then, a great light appeared unto me. It was exceedingly bright, and I was sore afraid. And a voice came from the light, like a thousand trumpets, and the voice said, “Come here!” So I put down my martini, and went unto the voice, and the voice got holy, and powerful, and resounded-duh . . . And the voice said, “Gimme some of dat samitch!”

So I gave the voice the sandwich, and I was filled with wisdom at that point. And the wisdom was this: The Mainstream Media long ago lost ALL credibility. Gone are the days when Patton strode onto the beach, or Kennedy stared down the Russians, or Dr. King walked fearlessly down the streets of Selma. Now some guy says he’s a woman, cuts his Johnson off, and the world stops turning. The big bucks news will pump any story, no matter how stupid until you’d think that was the only thing happening in the entire world at that given moment of time. LEAD story,too! JESUS CHRIST could return, and He’d be upstaged by some transvestite tripping, and spilling a Coke on a parking lot! Oh yeah, did ya’ll know the Pope is a communist? There was even a story about Miley Cyrus poking fun at the Bible. Like that’s a surprise? Have you checked out her little dance step. I liked when she was Hanna Montana, but what do you do when you grow up, and lose your contract because you’re basically ugly, and a slut? That’s an old word my younger readers need to get used to. Slut: Prostitute who’s too stupid to charge for it.

And, of course, everybody’s looking forward to the race war that’s coming. A few kids with their pants sagging sit down in the street and “IT’S A RACE WAR, IT’S A RACE WAR!” We already HAD a race war back in the 1860’s. Oh God, here come the flags again! I found ONE story worth reading, and that was the one about the one-legged vet who had to put his dog down. The dog was trained to sniff out seventy different bombs, and had saved many lives. The whole town turned out to accompany him to the doctor, and go to rest. Uh, didn’t see any Confederate flags in the crowd.

Then I caught Chris Green, Alternative TV, and of course he was ranting and raving about that flag flap. Then he turned on Col. Allen West. He showed a clip of some black, bearded fanatic, and kept calling him Col. West. I was reminded of an old George Carlin line; Seems fairly intelligent . . . Ah! He’s full of s . . . .!” You have to watch conspiracy theorists just about as close as you watch Main Stream Media. Right before Green regurgitated his dialog he did a commercial trying to sell body armor to all the nice folks out there waiting for Jade Helm to kick in, oh don’t get me started! We are going through that flap down here in Texas right now. I’m sure there is SOMETHING there, because even Governor Abbott is putting armor plating on his wheel chair. (You’d think that after getting the Governor’s office he’d have picked up a Hoveround somewhere along the way, wouldn’t you?) it’s a nice fantasy, I guess. I have a fantasy. Me, locked away in a bomb shelter, hiding from Jade Helm, with five Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and a case of Jim Beam. Do THAT math!

So, I found myself having coffee this morning, waiting to see what’s next. Will ISIS invade New York? Will the Jews take over the world? Will Bruce Gender become pregnant? Will global warming make California a bigger desert than it’s always been? Will we have to read yet another story from Roof’s stepmother (another slut) telling us what a “nice boy” he really was? Will Alex Jones sell yet another water purification system? Stand by for NEWS!

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin


The Puzzling Case Of Lee Harvey Oswald

Let’s get off topic today and have a little fun. I’ve been sitting on this one because it fits nowhere, but heck, it’s Sunday! It’s fascinating when all the dots connect, something senseless suddenly makes sense and the world seems in order again. Different opinions lead to different theories. Take the JFK assassination. If you want to jump into a whirlpool of controversy just bail off into that. Well, you know me so here we go.

The Warren Commission concluded that Lee Harvey Oswald fired three shots at the presidential motorcade, striking the president twice, once in the back, exiting the throat, and one head shot. The back/throat wound invoked a rash of ideas. You’ve heard it all. The “magic” bullet theory. Conspiracy theorists conclude that the bullet had to do an acrobatic waltz in order to travel the path and inflict subsequent wounds found. They position John Connally directly in front of president Kennedy, thereby not allowing the bullet’s path to follow a logical course.

There is one thing that shoots this down. The Governor was not directly in front of the president, he was down, and to the left in a “jump seat.” When properly lined up the bullet travels along an almost perfectly straight line. Then there is the Governor’s so called delayed reaction. Some people conclude that this proves that two bullets came from behind, the second hitting Connally, causing him to lurch at the moment of impact. Now right here they must accept the word, “behind.” Connally was obviously shot from the rear. There is no denying that. The two bullet theory dies when you realize that it would be impossible to inflict the wounds upon the Governor without going through Kennedy first. He was in the way! The only logical conclusion was one bullet, two men hit.

Now we have the head shot. Abraham Zapruder’s home movie may be the most viewed film in history. Eat your heart out Cecil B. DeMille! You’ve all seen it. The president’s head exploding like a ripe melon, Mrs. Kennedy crawling onto the trunk of the Lincoln retrieving a portion of his brain. This is a difficult shot to analyze. Sherlock Holmes has a rule; When you rule out the impossible, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth. Let’s look at that shot.

The grassy knoll looms large in conspiracy theory. Before the day is done, when you take all of the ideas about that little rise you’ll begin to believe the entire CIA was squatting behind that fence with J. Edgar Hoover directing the shot. Now, look at the angle. Not from the front, from the front RIGHT! Ask yourself, who was sitting to the left of the president. Then, simply draw a line from the fence through Kennedy’s head, and beyond. If John F. Kennedy had taken a shot from the grassy knoll the left side of his head would have blown out, not the right. When you rule out the impossible, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth! Just as it was impossible for John Connally to have been struck without the bullet hitting Kennedy first, it is equally impossible for a bullet from the grassy knoll hitting the president without also affecting his wife. The laws of physics demand it.

So, where did the shots really come from? Up, behind, and slightly to the right. Then we have the opinions of Oswald’s proficiency with a rifle. We have two things that come into play here. First off, I’ve BEEN to Dealey Plaza. People who have never been there imagine this very long, difficult shot requiring Chris Kyle. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Huckleberry Finn could have hit Kennedy with his sling shot! Fish in a barrel would be a suitable analogy. Quite frankly, no joke intended, I myself could have hit that target with a 9mm pistol. The so called “kill zone” is roughly the size of a high school cafeteria, and how many active shooters do you have to see to know how deadly THAT can be. The suspected window was on the sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository. New Yorkers, with their skyline picture a high rise with a guy perched on the roof. It was only sixty feet up! Sixty divided by three is twenty. Twenty yards! The beginning distance you start with when qualifying for a CHL! And friends and neighbors, at twenty yards I ate that silhouette UP!

Add about fifty or sixty more feet, allowing for the car traveling down the road, the position of the shooter and do you see those fish yet? So, how good of a shot was Lee Harvey Oswald? I’ve read all the stuff about how he couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, and “Maggie’s Drawers,” but Oswald was a former Marine rifleman. He QUALIFIED! Then, of course, we must cast allusions upon his rifle. The Mannlicher Carcano Oswald used is so much maligned by conspiracy theorists one begins it imagine it bad a bent barrel. Lee Havey Oswald’s rifle was a weapon of war. A bolt action piece that fired a bullet projectile almost as long as your little finger and he fired a full jacketed NATO round. It was accurate, powerful, and fully capable of penetrating two men. Oh, and is wasn’t “pristine” when it was found on that stretcher at Parkland. It was slightly flattened.

There’s this idea floating around that two different types of bullets hit that day. One, the 6.5mm that transversed from the rear and two, a hollow point coming from, you guessed it, our friend on the infamous grassy knoll. They reason the exploding head proves this out, and the bullet, having thus fragmented, can never really be found. Theorists add that metal fragments in Kennedy’s brain show evidence of this. Sadly, we will never know because president Kennedy’s brain has bee lost. Do the physics. If the bullet did indeed hit Kennedy from the rear, blow out the right side of his head, then it had to go somewhere upon exit. Now, it didn’t hit the front windshield. Photographs show clearly in the Parkland parking lot that this was not so. It was not lodged somewhere in the limo. It did not hit either the driver, nor the man sitting in the front passenger’s seat. Remember, when you rule out the impossible, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth.

The bullet that struck Kennedy in the back, and subsequently went on to wound the Governor was not pristine, as I have said. Just the effort of going through Kennedy’s torso caused it to tumble, making an elongated wound in Connelly’s back upon entry, and the rest of its journey sufficiently reduced its velocity enough to where it really DID “stick” in his leg, eventually dropping onto,the stretcher in the ER at Parkland, where it was eventually found and entered into evidence. Now, why am I telling you this? Don’t you think if a bullet could be so affected as I have said, that if said bullet traveled through a human skull, blowing out its side, that its trajectory could be slightly altered? Penetrating the president’s head from the rear, blowing out the right side, missing everything else in the limo and going where from there? If you subscribe to the idea of a bullet coming FROM the grassy knoll, then if you follow my logic of a bullet possibly coming from the opposite direction then you’ll understand that bullet was your only connection with that dubious hillside. It’s still there! And no one ever looked for it.

So, here’s your sequence of shots. I have a little personal background on this. My daughter in law’s grandfather, John H. Brandt, mounted Lee Harvey Oswald’s scope. The first shot was fired. Complete miss, actually striking the pavement behind the limo and flying fragments actually wounded a bystander. Shooter chambers the second round, raises the crosshairs slightly and fires again. The Zapruder film shows Kennedy reaching for his throat. Now, from that vantage point you can conclude something was amiss simply from the look on his face, but from the rear? From the shooter’s view could it appear as a man reaching to adjust his tie in preparation for exiting the limo in a short while with the press taking hundreds of pictures. Shooter racks the final round, aims and fires. First shot a clear miss. Hastily fired second shot, he THINKS is another miss, that’s why he loads a third round. This one he takes a little time. Check out the film. From the film we can’t see the moment of the second bullet’s impact because of the sign in the way, but we can see that it was a long wait for the last shot. He held his breath, adjusted the aim, and squeezed off the third and final shot, and had he missed that one you may have very well seen a fourth shot. He had time!

So, one man in a window. Where’s your conspiracy. Well, I can’t tell you that, but I can show you the clear footprints of one. First and foremost you must ask yourself not if it really was Oswald in that window that day, but what PUT him there. Now remember the rule, when you rule out . . . Oswald had not been working at the Depository THAT long. He and his wife were separated. The president’s motorcade was shown in the newspapers that week, but ask yourself, what if the plans had changed? Indeed, what would have happened if the limo simply proceeded straight ahead instead of making that right turn toward the School Book Depository? What if it had never turned left but when right past Oswald and turned left a block later? Oswald was in exactly the right place and the exact time. Now that’s a fact. He KNEW the limo was going to make that left directly below him, and he KNEW he’d have that kill shot at a retreating target.

Oswald spent one last night with his wife at Mrs. Payne’s house on the night before the assassination. He got up, left his wedding ring and some money, and went to work with a rifle. All the stuff about him being in the lunch room the entire time, where did that come from? Oh, yes, his boss vouching for him. Like this guy had a check list and remembered every employee and every sandwich eaten. And he wasn’t out of breath or sweating. Who wrote THAT down? Oswald was perfectly capable of going DOWN six flights of stairs, going down is easier than going UP, and buying a Coke in the lunchroom. He hadn’t been out of the Marines THAT long, his job was to move books around a six story building. C’mon!

So, when the cops leave, I assume searching the grassy knoll, Lee leaves the depository, goes home and gets a pistol. Gee, why would this innocent man suddenly leave work and do that? He DID have enough sense to leave his “curtain rods” behind. So now he’s tooling all over Dallas with a gun and Officer
Tippit comes upon him and stops him. Now, this innocent guy, leaving work at lunch, is stopped by a police officer and decides to go ahead and shoot him. I’ve heard some conspiracy theorists ask why the police suddenly converged on the Texas Theater just because Oswald went in without a ticket? Why did Officer Wilson zero in on Michael Brown just because he was walking in the middle of the street? In both cases a major crime had just been committed nearby. The police HAD radios! Normally if the manager of the theater had called the police about such a matter it would have taken forEVER to get a squad car out there, but there were cops in the area. Officer DOWN! When cornered, Oswald screamed, “This is IT!” drew his weapon and tried to kill yet another police officer. I’ve even heard the idea that Oswald’s .38 had no firing pin. If that’s so then what punctured the officer’s thumb who jammed the shot?

So, Goldilocks gets dragged down to,the PD for questioning. Why did the police immediately connect him with the Kennedy assassination? Uh, perhaps because he’d just killed a police officer and he WORKED at the Texas School Book Depository? You think? But, didn’t Oswald say he was just a “patsy?” What would you expect him to say? “I did it . . .I did it all . . .HAMBURGER!”

So, he was definitely a little more than an innocent bystander. How do we know that there was a little bit of planning involved by interested parties? Ok, yet again, ask yourself, what makes a man like Jack Ruby suddenly be filled with remorse and patriotism to the point that he pulls off what he did at the jailhouse that day? Jack Ruby, American patriot . . . When pigs fly! Little thing or two about Mob hit men. Contrary to the movies, most mob hits are pulled off by regular soldiers. Highly paid “Mechanics” look good in movies. This is why I have to laugh when i read about some clown saying he was specifically hired to kill a president because he was so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s why you’re doing time for a string of burglaries. A lot are done by people associated yet not “in” the organization. You already work for the boss, just do the job! Most are not paid for the hit. You’re already BEING paid, just do,the job! It helps if you are very low on the food chain. Jack Ruby was not a “Made” man, he wasn’t even a soldier, he was an associate. Who would you use to eliminate a threat like Lee Harvey Oswald? And the act in a situation where the shooter would surely be caught. You can’t afford for Oswald to eat one more breakfast. You find an associate who knew he was already sick anyway. We don’t know when Ruby knew he had cancer, but we do know he died because of it. “Jack, your family will be well cared for.” And if you can accept that the limo could have went this was or that then a police transfer is no problem at all. Ruby is in exactly the right place, at exactly the right time. Hey, that’s two times in three days! I wish I could get those odds in Vegas! Oswald was being questioned inside the police station for hours, and the first time he neared the exit of the building he was as dead as fried chicken, and if you don’t see some kind of a plan there have I got a bridge for you, and it’s on SALE! Whomever put Lee Harvey Oswald in that window likewise put Jack Ruby in that garage! Swat them bees, swat them bees!

I can’t tell you who orchestrated the plan. Most likely all these people have passed on. Oh, you’ll see from time,to time some tired old convict trying to get more cigarettes by claiming HE killed Kennedy, and, oh yes, FROM the grassy knoll, but the fact is no one really knows. A lot of people wanted Kennedy dead from Carlos Marcello to Marilyn Monroe’s latest boyfriend. Castro didn’t like him either. And as far as Oswald being a bumbling, lucky fool . . . He got into Russia, married a Russian girl, and exited the country. Now this is during the cold war people. Khrushchev banging his shoe on the table at the UN, stuff like that. Whomever arranged this put the exact right shooter, in exactly the right place at exactly the right time, and then duplicated that when Oswald was taken out. Bada Bing Bada BOOM!

When you hit conspiracy theorists with these facts they get that white around their mouths, their eyes roll back in their heads and they start talking in tongues. The Kennedy assassination has become a religion. You might as well try to convince a Mormon that Joseph Smith was a circus barker, you’ll do better. I seriously doubt that we’ll ever know who wrote the check, but I do believe the check was written, and the money has long ago been spent.

Them That’s Gots Gets

I had a very interesting time last night. Got to participate in a discussion on Higher Truth Radio with Mikee Bee. The format was New World Order, metaphysics, and religion. Let’s not make this easy, folks! NOBODY on that show had a Texas accent, which was . . . special. The first guest, and I don’t remember her name so forgive me, but she was an Indian. Not one of them Boogily Boogily Indians, a woo woo one, but anyway, she was one of them. She was all into this New World order thing. I didn’t get to talk to her, but I formulated some opinions. First off, I’d like to say that rich people tend to want to get richerI know that comes as a shock to some of you, but it works like this: Federal Reserve money is just about worthless, and if you’re living week to week, trying to keep the lights on that doesn’t mean a whole lot, but if you’re Bill Gates you wake up every morning losing millions simply because you didn’t spend it yesterday, and that tends to bear on rich folks minds a bit.

Another thing about rich folks is they tend to think they just might have something on the ball, and the very fact that they’re rich shows they had SOMETHING on the ball. Now let’s take Gates for instance. The boy’s a pretty good computer programmer, and he had a business model that was hands down perfect! His product cost him virtually nothing to produce, and he generated a need that had people knocking down his door. This is opposed to Steve Jobs, who soldered circuit boards in a garage, and had to actually MAKE something to put on the shelf. The one time he subcontracted Microsoft to write some code, well, we all know how that went.

Bill made billions putting applications on little floppy disks, which cost him about a nickel apiece, and when Internet downloads became the fashion he even did away with that expense. The money poured in so fast he got cramps just counting it. If he’d left it at that ol’ Bill would have still done pretty good, but here’s the other problem with rich folks. If they’re good at one thing they think they’re good at everything. So he formed a foundation and started trying to save the world. Now bear in mind he didn’t give ALL his money away, I mean he IS a Nortè. He started inoculating every arm in the subcontinent he could find. This doesn’t sound all that bad, but enter the New World Order. Before I go on I want to make a statement here that’s going to get me a guaranteed bitch slap. There ain’t no New World Order! Rich people are always going to conspire to make more money. The “New” World Order is just the “Old” World Order on steroids.

Back in the day you’d get a guy like Hitler. The big dog on the block was government. If you were going to conquer the world you had to have a government, kill a few folks, and take land. Now, as we all know this never works out. Didn’t work out for the Romans, didn’t work out for Attila, and didn’t work out for Adolph either. When you roll over someone’s territory you will eventually get your butt kicked. Now we have a new wrinkle. With the Internet, international commerce, and huge corporations an entity can effectively take over a substantial part of the world without anyone really noticing. Think I’m wrong? What are you reading this on? Bill or Steve most likely gave you the computer you are using. Swat them bees, swat them bees. As a matter of fact I read a Forbes report yesterday making mention of the most powerful men in the world. They got a laugh out of Putin edging out Obama, but I looked down the list, and there at number seven was Bill Gates. J. P. Morgan was a pretty salty old dog, but he was NEVER listed as one of the most powerful men in the world!

This is your New World Order. I like to call it the New World RE-Order. Even the Chinese fall in line. They’ll walk proud and talk loud until Bill switches off their XP for two days and then they come to their rice real quick. Think he can’t do that? Already DONE it my friends. He threw the switch on them four years ago and the leader of China came to the US to see BILL, not Obama.

A man who wields wealth and power like that is only going to get richer and more powerful. Like Johnny Paycheck told me years ago, “Them that’s gots, GETS!” Gates doesn’t have to take land, he’s taken your LIFE! Bottom line, while Pocahontas was on Higher Truth Radio looking for Lizard Men under every bed, Bill Gates was eating a cheeseburger, sipping a Guinness, and counting his money. Now y’all bear in mind that I’m just a simple old boy from Austin with a high school education so if my analysis seems too simple forgive me.

Then came the next two guests. A man and a woman. Started out as a discussion about linguistics in the Bible. They spent a long time dissecting the origin of the letter “J.” Guess who’s name begins with the letter “J?” You guessed it, that little old wine maker Christ! Now, I don’t want to get into all the hub bud, but what it boiled down to was they had this theory that when you pray, if you didn’t hold your mouth just right God wouldn’t hear you. Silly me, I always thought God was multiple-lingual. From there we progressed to trying to figure our if Jesus a good man or just a good idea, and, of course we had to beat up that nasty old Catholic Church and Constantine along the way.

The next part is touchy. Being a white boy, I am not licensed to really discuss this so take everything I’m about to say with a grain of salt. Better make that a salt lick. I’ll just get right to it. They had this idea that all civilization came out of Africa. Layer upon layer of “evidence” being laid down until they had the Roman Empire singing Rap! Side note, I’m down just about four martinis by then and the creative juices are kicking in. Mikee finally let me in and I asked two questions. I inquired that if their suppositions were true, and the African nations had transversed the Atlantic, and schooled the Myans, Egyptians, and Greeks, then how come I don’t see any great pyramids in the Congo? I think the answer was that they are there, we just can’t see them. Next, I asked that when Alex Haley went to Africa to find his Roots, and had to, listen to,that old man recite for hours about tribal history, where were the books? I think they said the books all got burned. Fifth martini.

All jokes aside, all these people are much smarter than I, and I was a bit intimidated being on the radio even talking with them. And people have a right to be proud of their heritage, but when you say Africa ruled the world I can show you a couple billion Chinese who would say, “Ah sooooooo!” I think I am invited to talk with these folks again, at which time I expect they will tear my country butt up. But it was exhilarating and I did get to walk among giants, if only for a little while.

Did I Say “Stupid?”

Freedom of the Press
by Wilbur Witt

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

Did I miss something here? I mean, I know the Obama administration has this slight problem with reading the English language, but this paragraph seems to be pretty black and white, doesn’t it? Oh, bad choice of words. I meant to say this paragraph is clear. Alex Jones Tweeted today this message:

@RealAlexJones: Secret Service tried to block press from bombing questions?

Now I don’t agree with everything Alex says all the time, but I am a listener. Even if I disagree with his conclusions at times, to have goons try to intimidate one of his reporters for simply asking a question is beyond the pale.

I don’t know the final story of the Boston bombings. As I said yesterday I rest on the idea that people who work for the government are simply not as smart as they project themselves to be. I mean, c’mon, two jerk offs set off two bombs they made out of firecrackers right under the noses of the Feds WHILE presumably the government gumshoes were actually conducting a drill on what to do should a bomb attack occur! Except that three people died that’s pretty funny right there all by itself. Then they get into a gunfight with the two suspects and one actually shoots his way out of the situation only to be found by a little old man with a boat. Now these are facts, folks.

What Alex (and Glenn Beck)

are keying up on is that there seems to be yet another conspirator in the mix. Some Saudi guy, with a rap sheet as long as his arm got blown up in the explosions, ended up in the hospital, was up to be deported and then Obama meets with some representative of the Saudi government and basically backs off this guy, and instructs his Secret Service to squash questions about him at a press conference.

If everything is as the government claims it to be then why not just take the gentleman’s question, field it, and put it to rest? And who ever put a golden force field around the Saudis anyway? Every time a Saudi is involved in anything Obama squats and pisses. Did I miss something here. These are the same people who gave us nineteen hijackers back on 9/11, right? Come to think of it, why did we invade Afghanistan? Seems to me a nice war in Mecca would have solved more problems, but I’m just a simple ol’ boy from Austin, so what do I know. Holy crap! I’m starting to sound like Alex!

Ok, first they want our guns. Then they want to fix it so that you can’t protest the president within 300 yards or so. Now we’ve evolved to the point that even a reporter can’t ask a question they don’t like! I’ve noticed something alarming. Back in the day when the Russian news would put out a story we would all laugh because it was so obviously pumped up with Vodka soaked BS that no one in their right mind attached any credibility to it. Now, I finding myself listening more and more to the Russian press because they don’t have to lie. Like Will Rodgers said, they just watch our government, and report the facts.

I’ve always had a distrust of government for precisely the reasons I gave you yesterday. But basically it boils down to a few simple facts. They’re stupid, lazy, clouded, illiterate, mamby-pamby . . .oh, did I say stupid? Makes you want to be at that press conference, in force, jack those two goons and simply ask, why the hell are you dodging the question. Just stop LYING and do your freaking JOB! You can’t stop home brewed terrorists, so just tell us you can’t and we will take care of it from there! I think a good start would be to address this Saudi situation and a good way to do that is to stop buying their oil. You see, we here in the Republic of Texas have a vested interest in that. We happen to think the we can be self sufficient, have an honest government, and answer questions at a press conference without a TelePrompTer.

Do I think there is a vast conspiracy? No! Simply because I can see the people surrounding Obama. (Did I mention stupid?) what I do think is , when this administration finally goes off to build ITS presidential library, we will have a benchmark on how to NOT run a government!

Law West of the Pecos

What We Burn In Our Crazy Minds
by Wilbur Witt

Last night I must have sat through four hours of various conspiracy theories concerning the Boston Bombings. Like layers of an onion, as I peeled back each part more complexity was exposed. I shared a lot of this on my Facebook page. The people behind this have a whole vocabulary that goes with the show. Things like, “New World Order,” and “Drills,” and “False Flags.” They fit their scenarios together like pieces of a vast mental puzzle. With the bombings the running theory is that the two bombers were embedded CIA operatives who were sacrificed for the purpose of forwarding more power shift toward Obama and the proliferation of gun control. The mother and aunt and father have all come out ranting and raving about this, complete with those horrible Russian accents, and the “alternative” media is lapping that up like hound dogs on spilled gravy. One theory even tied the Boston bombing with the event in Waco. The guy continually looks into the camera and repeats, “Fertilizer?” He obviously has never blown stumps on a ranch. Yeah kid, fertilizer!

Then the surviving bomber scribbles on a pad the he and his brother did the attack all by themselves with no help, no finance, and no problems with the FBI, police, or even the zoning commission. They picked the marathon because it was in the STREET! No doubt the conspiracy theorists will respond with the idea that the kid is protecting his comrades so that they can continue the fight. Yeah, right! Ok, first off this kid is a pot head. Look at him. This little bastard crawled right out of a yellow submarine and followed his lunatic, religious nut brother to hell. The theorists claim the FBI, CIA, whomEVER was feverishly trying to kill this punk. I personally have never seen a more restrained bunch of cops in my LIFE! What, with robots, helicopters, and heat seeking cameras, I personally would have lobbed a REAL grenade in there, collected the pieces, bought the guy a new boat and called it a day.

I have a theory, and a prejudice. In my life I have never seen our government successfully carry out anything. I mean look at it. We couldn’t invade Cuba, could conduct a burglary a crackhead could pull off, and couldn’t get a blow job with the secret service watching for the wife at the door! Now, you want to be alarmed about the government well, there you are. Now, under Obama they are proving they can’t add, can’t slap a fat kid in Korea, and can’t negotiate the price of a whore in South America. I learned how to pay whores in Mexico in the tenth grade! We catch fish off Alaska, send them to China to pay the interest on our debt, who in turn, bring the fish right back to us and sell them to McDonald’s. We import avocados from Mexico, covered with crap, while thousands of acres of them bake in the sun of Southern California. All all of this courtesy of the federal government! They are STUPID!

The congress and senate are as useless as the tits on a boar hog, and the Supreme Court, OMG, don’t get me started, we would do better letting rulings be handed down by Judge Roy Bean. You begin to understand why we here in Texas just want to leave. I’m not going to say anything about Obama because if you criticize him you’re labeled a racist so I’ll just say he runs around with the vice president who is an idiot.

If our government could pull off one conspiracy, just one, I would feel more secure. Maybe invade Indonesia, after a major quake and tsunami, and WIN the war, then I would feel a whole lot better. But don’t hold your breath. We have to beat them Arabs who presently are holding their ground with pipe bombs and fried goat before we can even think about taking on any country as formidable as say . . . Mexico!

And the conspiracy buffs are all up in the air about the law passed this last week allowing this same bunch of Keystone Cops to spy on the Internet. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure they’ll do that job with the same fervor they had when they checked out these two kids who were constructing LAND MINES in their freaking DORM ROOM! And when you watch a conspiracy theory pay close attention to what they are selling. That’s right, they have ads. They sell everything from packaged food to how to books on hiding in a hole in the ground. Follow the money, folks. Just follow the money.

The strength of America is not the government, it’s the people! If the government would just get out of the way and let the American people work we’d all be a lot better off. Forget about the FED, forget about gun control, forget about the Middle East and start growing wheat, building cars and drilling for oil, and move all those businesses to Austin where they should’ve been all along!