A Classic Sting
by Wilbur Witt
I got this little jewel this morning. It was so classic I had to do it for today’s blog. The script that this young lady (Mary, firstname.lastname@example.org)and what followed was classic. Originally she told me she was from Alabama. During conversation she introduced me to her best friend, Michelle, in LA. This is what is known as a third party confirmation. The mark just KNOWS it’s for real because “best friend” says it is Why would she lie? Unfortunately for them I’ve BEEN to LA, and she knew absolutely nothing about Southern California. Naturally, on the next chat we had Michelle’s grandmother dying (in Austrailia) and poor Michelle had to go there to settle the estate. Now, work with me here, this gets good. It seems Michelle’s father, an international investor, and general man about town, had been killed mysteriously some years ago and poor old granny was holding the family business together in LA, Austrailia, and (you guessed it), Africa!
Michelle told me all about it, even asking my advice on where to put this vast fortune she had just inherited. She told me that she was taking Mary (my new girl friend) with her down under to give her support in this time of need. So, they “embark” on the journey. Important point here nothing is as it seems. They aren’t going anywhere they’re not even in the United States . Mary did a test run at me just after she “arrived” in Austrailia, which I fended off. Naturally, she went to plan “B” blowing that off. That picture in that Tux’ll do it every time. So, I continued to receive occasional notes from her on Yahoo, even one where she got angry and yet again, vowed her undying love for me. Amusing point; Like “Mary,” I was working several subjects during this time and actually got her mixed up with another girl in Ghana I was punking at the time, and sent the wrong chats and emails to each. Good ol Mary didn’t miss a beat, she just kept working the script.
Her “return” date approached. (Suspense music please) According to her, she and Michelle were returning to “the state” on Friday. Now, I know there are people in the deep South who butcher the English language, but coming back to the “state?” Give me a break! I knew the sting could not be far off, but I didn’t know it would be this classic. It has all of the elements. Confirmation from a third party, international intrigue, vast sums of unclaimed money, and a sudden crises that involves MY money.
Although she claimed Michelle, who allegedly booked a flight for herself and Mary all the way from LA to Austrailia, was settling her granny’s estate, a miracle happened. They spent all their money on Granny’s health needs and now have nothing to eat! Now, she either was too stupid to keep up with the script, or she had me mixed up with another Mark. She needed $500. Of course, if you will note, she typed 500$. And, now this gets good, you cant make this up, are you following me, camera guy? Icouldn’t send it to her, I had to send it to where? You guessed it . . .AFRICA! Seems Michelle has this lawyer there who, in a few hours, will provide me with a Western Union address so he can receive the funds and of course, buy poor Mary and Michelle a Big Mac.
Ok, decoding time. There is no Mary or Michelle. They are working out of an Internet cafe, probably in Nigeria, though I have noticed Ghana is beginning to play predominately in this game lately. The “lawyer,” who is thrown in for legitimacy, and respectability, and a little more third party confirmation,is actually their pimp. There are so many holes in her script you could strain spaghetti with it. The sad thing is older men fall for this every day. They are robbed and left broken. I’m going to continue this series. When one of these people troll me I’m going to bait them and out it all up here. We may start a whole new series. Like To Catch A Predator, we’ll call it, To Catch a Nigerian, or something like that.
There are good people on the net. I have two friends, Sharon in England, and Crystal in LA. Sharon talks about various subjects, never money, and Crystal regularly visits Michael Jackson’s grave. Also, Crystal and I had a text conversation on Facebook during the Conrad Murray trial and let me tell you, brothers and sisters,,this girl was MAD! I have much respect for both of them as I do others I meet here. The rule is so simple. When a woman you never met asks for money it is a sting. One red cent! Never lose sight of that.
“Mary” is shown in the following with no brackets. I put Around my responses. My comments are in () If you will note she never drops the script. When I hesitate she sends the old Yahoo BUZZZZ, which copies and pastes as This is either because she is too ignorant of the English language, or she’s working too many “marks” at one time to sort it out. In the end she falls back on “our love” but apparently the pimp CAN read and she finally signed off. Just as I did with the other three yesterday I finally told her who I was and exactly what I was doing. I don’t expect to hear from “Mary” again!
Maestro, Intro music please!
hello hon how are you doing today hope you are doing good….i’m happy that u are online now because we need to chat on some issue right now wilbur are you there i’m waiting here for u
hon talk to me i have missed you
hope u are fine oh hon i was just thinking of you since what are you doing right now hon
k hon i need to tell you somethings about me and michelle i have been waititng on here for u wilbur?
michelle have sign some of the document and we have received some of her dad document also but we have not collecting the check……hon i have spend the money on me with michelle and she also dont have much with her right away because we have use almost the money for her grand-ma treatment? (She originally went to BURY Granny!)
(Note that she ignores this question and continues the sting)
so i need you to help me out right away we need to get some food stuff and somethings also….so we will be planing to come beck to the state on sunday then i will come and neet u on my way coming back to the stat
hon why did you go off dont you love me again wilbur hon talk to me
(I went “off” because I was laughing and copying and pasting at the same time)
(Ok, I’m an asshole and at this point I’m trolling HER!)
i know hon but please we dont have food stuff at all right away. (Now I really believe she’s short of food. That’s why she’s whoring on the Internet)
hon the money i need right away is not much…..you are the only one i will ask no more other person wilbur i have put my mind on you and i have promise to it’s you or no other person wilbur please i need 500$ hon will you make that send to me (totally ignored what I just said. Her comprehension of English is so bad that she canNOT deviate from the script.)
i know the money maybe too much for you to send to me at this time but hon i need that by tomorrow you will make it send through western union? will you send that tomorrow with my information wilbur are you there
hon i will send you michelle lawyer’s information to your inbox….. he has some africa country info
you know i dont have any information in africa the lawyer have so u will send it through his info…..but i will send is info to your email, in some hours when he send it to me (Now this is Michelle’s lawyer, handing the disposition of a vast international estate, and Michelle doesn’t have any contact information? Also, aren’t there Western Unions in Austrailia?)
michelle just call him now to send his info hon ….i will also make it send to you immediately he send that to us wilbur will you be on here for like two hours hon are you still there (Michelle just “call” him? Two hours? What does he have to do, crawl up on a hill and beat out a message on a drum? Forgive me . . .I’m just a simple ol boy from Austin.)
ok hon….i will make the info send to you in some hours please i want you to send it to me when you get the lawyer’s info…..i will also be online to know if you have make it send to me tomorrow
*Ok, at this point I went ahead and punked her. I certainly didn’t have the time to wait while she finished her shift in the call center, turned in her daily report so her team leader could process my money.*
oh hon why are you saying this i’m not what you think…..i was here because of my good friend michelle not because of asking you money but i just think i should ask you if it’s that the issue of money wilbur u can take hold to your money am not after ur money i have put all my mind and trust to you but you fallen my heart
i’m not happy with you i though i have found who will love me and trust me but you make me said and cry all what am doing was just becuase of you i just dont want you to made any mistakes if you want to send that, that was why i said 500$ i add $ because i dont want u to made a mistake if you feel that am not real you can hold your money i will find a way but if i cant get i will wait till the lawyer come back you promise you will trust me,you also said you will be honest with me but now i cant even figure what is going on?
Roll the credits, fade to black to the theme from Exodus
What’s going on is a classic sting. Also, please be aware, these people are NOT spending the money on food. Before you feel sorry for this girl consider what I told her. In these times anyone soliciting money from another country is suspect. In WWII the saying was, “Loose lips sink ships.” Today “Loose wallets kill little boys in Boston watching their daddy run a marathon!” With all the hundreds, thousands, millions of dollars sent overseas each year like this, don’t you think some of it buys bullets, guns, pressure cookers? If you were a terrorist, and you wanted to spirit funds out of the US to the Middle East, how would you do it. Would you set up an account at Bank of America, or would you just get a lonely old man to send you $500 via Western Union? I’m going to continue this series. When one of these girls trolls me I’m going to document it and give it to you. Until then have a wonderful day, and God Bless!