A Reading From the Book, “Dobbit Dö”
Patterns began to form where the instant message screen had once been. Bizarre patterns with no rhyme or reason; indeed beyond reason. Swirling colors escalating, spiraling outwards toward her, seemingly going beyond the screen itself and then, suddenly she seemed to rush into the monitor. There was a loud whirling sound in her ears as she traveled a long tunnel of light to an unknown destination. She found herself in a landscape of glowing reds and oranges. Shaking her head wildly, trying to get her mind out of this she attempted to pull back, but it was no use. She seemed to be in her body, and yet, at the same time out of it. Feeling had been replaced by sensual touch, with every movement a reply from nerves never used. It seemed as if her entire body had become one erogenous zone. She looked down at herself and discovered that she was young again, maybe twenty, maybe less. Her body was firm, voluptuous, and alive. Her breasts were firm and her belly was flat. She felt more alive than it had been in thirty years. She was turned on by the very fact of just being so young. The beauty of her own body was exciting to her. She looked down to her long, shapely legs and now saw that she was standing on the alien landscape. But where was she? She looked around. The wind blew lightly on the grass, and the air was cool. It was almost serenely cool. Her hair was long and blonde, just as it had been in her younger days. The smell of ozone within the air lifted her spirits and revitalized her energy. Then, in the distance she saw someone. The person was walking toward her, casually, not seeming to care. After a while the person reached her. It was a girl of about fifteen, well built and healthy.
“Mom?” The young lady tilted her head and smiled, greeting her as a friend.
The woman asked, “Am I your mother?”
“Well, you would have been, but you decided to kill me instead.”
She suddenly felt herself becoming weak, and she said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know you.”
“Yes you do,” the girl said. “You know me. And you know very well what you did. You ended my life before it even began. You had me pulled out of you with a coat hanger and tossed into the Austin City Dump. Isn’t that special mother?” The girl snapped the last statement and clenched her teeth angrily. Up until now the little girl’s voice had been light, almost melodic, but at the world “special” it took a dramatic change. “You know how long I’ve been waiting here for you?”
“For twenty-five years mommy. I’ve been waiting here so we could get to know each other, mom!” The young lady walked around her, looking her up and down. It was amazing how much they looked alike. Each had long, blonde hair. Each had the same slight frame, with the same blue eyes. Each was truly beautiful.
“I told you already, I don’t know you.” The older woman said.
“Oh, but you will get to know me, mom. Look around you. How do you like my home? Do you know where you are?”
“No. Where am I?”
“You’re in Limbo! That’s an ancient term mom. They don’t use it much anymore because it’s not ‘politically’ correct. Modern people tend to want to think that such places as this do not exist, but they do exist and simply because people don’t want to look at them anymore doesn’t make them go away. This is the place for the rejects. This is the place for garbage. This is the place for things you prefer to throw in the dump. Isn’t that special mother? And you know what’s funny? When you come here you don’t know where you are at first, because you are so young. And you’re blind, mom. You have never seen anything until that coat hanger grabbed you. It grabs you, and pulls you out into the world. They cut your lifeline, and you can’t breathe mom. As you strangle you begin to see, and then slowly you begin to realize that the only person you even knew had just killed you. Everything goes red, and then dark, and then you end up here. You’re not alive, you’re not dead, and you just exist. You can’t go to heaven, and you just wish you could go to hell if only to feel the flames. And you know what mom? You put me here! You made me come here, forever! Isn’t that SPECIAL mother?”
Her mother began to shake, and tried to look away from the girl, but the girl came to her and grabbed her by the sides of her head, forcing her eyes to look at her.
“Look at me. LOOK AT ME! Damn you, you murdered me you can at least LOOK at me!”
She looked at the girl. The child’s lip was quivering and she was visibly shaking with anger.
“Did you enjoy your life mother? Did you have a wonderful marriage, a nice retirement? You were having sex with Dobbit when you wound up here. Trouble is, he always extracts a price for the pleasure. Just think of it; this may be the very first time you paid a price for your choices, won’t it mother?”
“I’m so ashamed. I didn’t know you saw that.”
“You ought to be ashamed. Sitting there in front of your computer masturbating like a schoolgirl. You’ll be surprised when you find out what it did to you.”
“What did it do to me?”
The girl smiled and said, “It fixed things so you can stay here with me.”
The woman felt a sudden grip of fear. She had not considered the possibility of never waking up, never going home. This scenario suddenly took on very real terms for her. The girl was now smiling again and looking at her mother, waiting for an answer. The woman looked behind her, as if expecting to find a way back; back to the reality that she’d known before coming to this place, but there was just miles and miles of green grass and blue sky; deceptively blue sky, implying that all was well; all was peace, when in point of fact it was not! Like the girl was not; like soon she would be not! She appreciated “not” now.
“I’m going to wake up now.”
“Wake up? Do you think you’re asleep?”
The woman’s eyes grew wide with horror as she realized the implications of what the little girl was saying. She began to step backwards but the young girl put her hands on her shoulders. “Let me show you something, mommy.” Then, as if there were a movie projector in her mind she perceived herself at her computer desk back in her condo in Salado. Only now she was slumped over her keyboard. Her eyes were fixed and glassy.
“Oh, God,” the old lady gasped.
The girl smiled, “Mommy, He isn’t here. I told you. This is a place for rejects.”
The woman asked, “Am I dead?”
“From the first moment you saw me. Isn’t that special, mommy?”
Shelly found her mother the next morning, still slumped over her keyboard, her eyes wide with amazement.”