Them and Us


Them and us. Remember that, there’ll be a quiz later. Ask yourself, what do Stephen F. Austin and Brigham Young have in common?  What led the Mormons to the Salt Lake Valley was partly religious persecution, and partly a bad case of “Them and Us.” As a Texan, I can understand who “them” were. They were Americans, or the facsimile thereof. Brigham Young picked the most God awful place you could imagine. A lake you can’t drink, weather you have to endure, and inhabitants who didn’t want you there. All this, and the Mormons clawed an existence out of the desert that rivaled San Francisco.

Now, my regular readers know what I think of organized religion, but I shall summarize. We all have a “God Hole” in our head, and something has to fill it. I fill mine with whiskey, but some folks just gotta have ritual, rules, holy this and holy that, and that’s ok if it makes them feel good. Brother Young used the God Hole to keep the faithful on the straight and narrow, because in the high desert if you weren’t on the straight and narrow you’d find yourself under the sand in no time. In short, it worked. What happens in this country when a group of people find a system that works? Well, the Americans come and steal it, that’s what. “Manifest Destiny is just another term for non-consensual sex. In due time the army was dispatched to put the Mormons in their place. The Civil War intervened and eventually the LDS people traded surplus wives for statehood, got “Deseret” trimmed down to size and you have the Utah we see today. Still, from the Mormon point of view, them and us.

The Mormons have a very tight culture, and there is a difference between Mormon culture, and Mormon religion. After years of persecution, they are very suspicious of “them.” As they cling to their civilization they see the edges crumbling all around them, and they struggle to hold it together. If you will note, the Americans did not come calling until after Salt Lake City was built, and the industrious Mormons had turned a profit at the instructions of their “prophet.” Them never builds, they steal from us. Now, let’s move on.

Now, let’s take a trip to Texas. Again, bunch of people went to a hell of a place, carved out a life, fought a war, joined the “Union,” got trimmed down to size, and then it was them and us. Texas got a bigger screwing than Utah in that it was occupied under rules of defeat until C. J. Grisham mounted the Capitol steps in Austin and waved his gun at the governor, all legal, breaking the hold of the 1871 law forbidding Texans to protect themselves. Texas has an organized nationalist movement, a militia, a government in place for the republic, oil, cattle, tech, seaport, and all the Mexicans. Utah is different. Utah has no secession movement, no organization, and no “national” identity, but it does have a firm, family oriented foundation, and that puts them directly opposed to the American system of today, emphasizing them and us!

It is not what America was founded on, but what it has become that makes it an abomination to Mormons. And this is creeping into the state. Salt Lake City has a gay mayor. Just think about that. In a place where people don’t even drink coffee they have a pervert for a mayor. That tells you something about demographics. There are more perverts in Salt Lake City than there are Temple Mormons. Texas began the slide some time ago. Houston had a perv running the city, so we can’t talk, but Texas does have a solid core. Ask Wendy Davis how talking up abortion to a bunch of Mexican Catholics worked out for her in the last election.

Utah, and Texas have something in common. . . them and us. We have all been screwed by the Americans, or rather the perversion of America as we had come to understand it. In the ruins of Deseret and the Republic of Texas there is a remnant. Guess who speaks directly to that remnant? Donald Trump, because he, too, believes in America. He’s one of “us.”  Remember the Southern Strategy I told you about some time back? Well, just switch that to “Western Strategy.” You see the Trump train rides on the rails of righteous anger. The outrage of the people who are sick and tired of what “them” are doing to “us.”

And it doesn’t matter what the religion is. The right to run your own business, your state, have your family safe, your border secure, and know that you won’t get shot for trying to drive to the sheriff’s office is important to these people. To have a culture where it means something to be a member of a church, have no abortion clinics in town, no vets homeless while illegals collect welfare. . . those things mean something, and that’s what Trump is pounding home. Have you noticed that every time one of his rallies is protested by “them” there are suddenly more of “us” supporting Mr. Trump? His message just becomes louder. DUDES! He’s a New York real estate broker, he doesn’t care about your religion, unless you’re a Muslim, and frankly I agree with him.

It’s not just Texas and Utah. Practically every part of the nation has people who have struggled to make a better life for our kids only to have it taken from us to given to them. Them and us. Interesting note: During Jade Helm 15 both Utah, and Texas were designated “Hostile.” Jus’ sayin’. Also interesting in that the first blood to be shed in this fight was the blood of a Mormon, LeVoy Finicum. There is more to come.

We must all rally to Donald Trump’s call. We must stand with him. The Republican leadership will steal the nomination if they can. Utah, and Texas, and all real Americans need to double down, and get Trump nominated, and then show Hillary the door. Make America Great Again! Mr. Trump is taking attacks from all sides, and it’s all spin and lies because “them” knows that if he wins, “us” wins, and they can’t have that. That’ll be the end of the world bankers controlling congress, of the BLM stealing land, or the illegal immigrant welfare express and the insidious occupation of the New World Order. It will be the reinstatement of America. The America envisioned by the founding fathers, and cherished by “us.” Let’s show “them” the door.

Oh, what did Austin and Young have in common? Two things; they knew how to organize a nation, and they were both in real estate. So much for Rubio’s little crack about this not being a real estate deal. Like I said, it is a real estate deal. . . it’s called America! And America belongs to us, not them!



Gonna pump a little sunlight up your dresses today. I watched a review, and projection of the world in the year 2030, and I saw something strange. Now understand that when I grew up in the 50’s the USA was “Da Bomb” (excuse the pun) and the entire rest of the world was “the pits.” Even as a child I realized that America was the hands down leader of the entire world. I mean we’d kicked Hitler’s butt, slapped Korea around, and even at ten years old I KNEW we made the best cigarettes. I mean it was even in the movies. If you’re my age how many times can you recall someone with a foreign accent asking, “You have American cigarette?” I mean even our girls were prettier. We had Tuesday Weld…they had some chick called Olga, and she looked like a wrestling champion!

We knew that everything made in Japan was cheap, would break very soon, and was poorly painted. That’s why people my age have a very hard time getting their mind around a Lexus. But things began to change. As we ate ourselves into cholesterol-ville the rest of the world watched, waited, and worked. They cringed a bit because the so called superpowers were always on the edge of blowing each other up and taking the rest of the world with them. There were great scenarios picturing the world after WWIII where we would all be living in squalor, fighting, eating whatever we could catch and it terrified Americans, but what we didn’t realize was that what we liked to refer to as the third world was already there! They were there watching, and waiting.

Then, about the time JFK missed his luncheon in Dallas the world made an almost imperceptible turn. The year after that day saw the Beatles pop onto the world stage. A year before, Elvis was the king and all Englishmen sounded like ducks quacking when they sang. All of the sudden “She Loves You” and five other songs were all over the Billboard charts, and the Beatles weren’t the only band in England, they had MORE!

Still, we were determined to reform the world so we jumped on the tiny nation of Vietnam to save Southeast Asia from the communists, never mind what THEY thought! By God, we had American cigarettes you little Gooks didn’t know what you were talking about! Well, we LOST that war. And I know the guys that went there will argue the point, but when you haul your butt to an aircraft carrier, and start pushing your helicopters into the ocean to gain speed that means the other guys won. This was a big heads up to the third world. While Washington wasn’t invaded, America, for once, had to stand down. We, of course, put the spin on it. We were like Putin recently said. We were like playing chess with a pigeon. We knocked over all the pieces, pooped on the board, and then stomped around like we won.

Still, we had the dream. Or rather, Martin Luther King had a dream. Our dream had caught the last train for the coast. Reagan came on the scene, and he exemplified the epitome of America right or wrong, capitalism, and American cigarettes! Hell, he’d even been on a cigarette commercial once! Reagan was a good idea. He really was the last gasp of what was once a great republic. But we fixed that. When Reagan left office we elected King George the First, thinking the Reagan legacy would live on. It took two Bushes and a Clinton and a half to completely dismantle what Reagan had so meticulously put into place. And during this time the Japanese learned to build better stuff, China grew more rice, and the USSR folded in on itself. Oh, and that little country that we spent ten years, billions of dollars, and 50,000 American lives to save? Well, they learned to grow catfish in rice paddies. (Ever eat catfish at Ryan’s cafeteria?)

When the USSR devoured itself we all expected that they would turn into something like Mexico. Well, they didn’t, and Olga began to look a little bit more feminine. Putin did not bang his shoe on the table at the UN, and God be praised, they struck oil! China was keeping their head down, growing more rice, and inching toward a form of capitalism, or reasonable facsimile thereof. By this time we were slowly realizing that the Germans DID make better cars than we did, the Brits DID make better records than we did and damn it, the Koreans even made one hell of a cigarette! But we weren’t going to have any of that. We had to show them Arabs that we could still dominate the world, we needed more oil and what the hell was in their little brown minds trying to tell us to butt out? Here, Habib, have a Big Mac! Never mind the fact that we had oil reserves right here. We wanted THEIR oil. Our only issue was THEY owned it. We couldn’t beat a bunch of skinny kids in pajamas, but maybe we could beat a bunch of religious nuts on camels.

Funny thing about people owning their own country. They tend to get irritated when a bunch of foreigners, i.e. US, comes in and starts stomping around telling them what to do, putting down their values, and stealing their resources. The whole world watched, ate their rice, and developed as we manipulated our way through the oil fields of the Middle East, and was not surprised when on 9/11 we finally got dog bit! Alex Jones goes on about how 9/11 was an inside job. NO IT WASN’T! Those people that we didn’t consider to be quite human knocked down our two great phallic symbols of capitalism and world economic domination, and they got MAD if anyone else tried to take credit for it. Osama would turn over in his watery grave if he heard Alex Jones trying to give credit for that attack to George Bush. The world watched, and worked, and waited.

King George II managed our finances so well that by the end of his reign we were buying more than we were selling. Slowly we began to covet Japanese cars, Chinese food, and imported cigars. We enriched Mexico with our insatiable appetite for cocaine. Hey folks, the MEXICANS aren’t doing all that crack, they just SELL it. Little known logistical fact! We legalized genocide with Roe vs Wade, and started letting men marry men, women marry women, and dogs marry cats. This nation went from the USA to WTF! We began to disassemble our constitution because it got in the way of our bloated, insolvent, Hedonistic lifestyle, and railed against people who wanted to preserve at least one amendment so they could at least protect themselves from a nation gone mad.

The Internet is a wonderful thing. Information began to flow. More than ten years ago I had a friend. A girl. Cute, literate, a college student who talked with me on a regular basis. We talked about life, politics, sex, and what she liked to eat. She wrote me from her class room…in China! And this was happening all over the world. No matter what the governments were putting out, people were talking. Now, it didn’t happen all at once. The legacies of people like Stalin, Bush, and Mao die hard, and they left a framework in place that rusts slowly, but new cars, food, TV, and information go a long way to wake people up. Where in 1959 I knew that China was a pagan nation that we could whip at any time I went from that to watching a Chinese TV show last night and was quite entertained. They have this show where a very cute Chinese girl asks people about to be executed about their thoughts on their crimes, and what they would say to the Chinese people about them. It’s an object lesson in control of your emotions. She made the statement to one young man who had killed his girlfriend’s grandparents because she broke up with him, “We all experience these things in life. You lost control during a normal life event.” The next scene showed her preparing dinner for her husband and four children.

Then I watched a show about Russian prisons. I thought, “Oh, this is gonna be bad!” Remember that guy that looked like Rasputin, and his book? Prior to this I saw one about how the gangs were out of control in OUR prisons. Well, the Ruskies don’t got dat problem. They got a prison called Black Dolphin, and if you want to be in a gang there, fine! It’ll be a gang on one! They make all prisoners walk stooped over with a blindfold on when going from building to building, five or six guards armed with AK47s with them and a DOG! And all these convicted murderers, cannibals, and pedophiles say is, “Yes SIR!” The most amazing thing was that the Russians flung open their prison doors and let an international film crew in. I waited patiently to see how they handled prison riots, but you simply can’t riot with your damn self. And there ain’t no basketball courts cause they don’t HAVE a prison yard! They don’t worry about rehabilitation. The prison is spotless, the convicts are in the cell, on camera ALL the time, and their cell gets searched every time they are removed and taken anywhere. No pin ups, no TV, no privacy!! They’re in the JOINT!

Are they brutal? Yes. Are they ignorant? NO! They saw what happened to us. I would love to take all the prisoners in the prison in Oakland California and ship them to Russia. As Larry the Cable Guy says, “That would be funny right there, i don’t care who you are!”

All these people are talking. All these people are watching. They have taken the best of our ideas, and rejected the bad ones. Their populace has demanded a better life and are willing to work for it. The Chinese girl has millions of viewers each week who hang on her every word. What does that tell you? Chinese people have LOTS of televisions! They are not running down the street anymore waving some silly red book, they are making dinner and watching their favorite TV show!

Maybe that is our legacy. In the 1950’s we had as close to Utopia as we would ever get and we did sell that dream to the world. The world watched, and learned, and perhaps will carry that dream forward. Olga is looking a whole lot better!

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Time Was

Time was when you could write, or say anything so long as you didn’t threaten someone or incite violence. The idea of free speech was foundational to the republic. If you were out in left field everyone would just think you were stupid and ignore you.

Time was when every little Texas town had a homosexual or two and nobody cared. They stayed off to themselves and the lady’s garden society loved them. They didn’t march in the street, or jail little old ladies for exercising their conscience. We all laughed at Paul Lynn, and listened to Liberace.

Time was when you could swat your kids on the butt in the grocery store and everyone approved you as a good parent. Your kids weren’t taught sex in school, and daddy was still the greatest, because he was dad, and every little girl wanted to grow up, and marry someone just like him.

Time was, when stopped for a traffic stop, you would get out of the car and take out your driver’s license as you walked back to the officer, who appreciated your courtesy and respect. Police got free coffee and food because merchants wanted them to come around. An officer rarely raised his voice, and he was almost always right, because he really did serve and protect.

Time was you could carry your guns in a rack in your pickup and nobody but the deer cared. The very idea that you couldn’t defend your family and home because black lives mattered was alien. Your family’s life mattered, and that was that. Your home was your castle and the fourth amendment meant exactly what it said.

Time was when the president said something you respected it even if you didn’t agree because he was the president. Everyone knew politicians would put a spin on things, but in the end they knew that America was America, the flag was the flag, and they worked for the people of America, not the UN. If they’d ever heard of a “Benghazi” they would have thought it was a James Bond movie.

Time was when a teacher sent a note home you sided with the teacher simply because she WAS the teacher. The first words out of your parent’s mouths would be, “What did you do?”

Time was if you missed church everybody knew it and one of the routine questions you asked a new friend was what faith they followed because there simply wasn’t anyone who didn’t believe in God.

Time was when you found that your favorite movie star was getting a divorce you were shocked because personally you only knew one person who ever got one and everyone treated them as if they had tuberculosis.

Time was if you stood on the constitution in court or anywhere else it was a no brainer because everyone knew the constitution was the constitution and that was that. The language in the Bill of Rights was so simple that any farmer could understand it.

Time was when a woman stayed home and took care of the kids she was known as a good mother, and raised her girls that way, too.

Time was when the preacher would drop by if word got out that a family was having difficulties.

Time was when a dollar was inscribed “Silver Certificate” and stood for an honest dollar which would buy enough gasoline for three days work.

Time was if you didn’t have a job you just went to jail until you figured it out. This is the world I lived in in 1957 in Shreveport. Time was…

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Cowboys and Fairies

Utah just keeps coming up aces. I was looking for something to chew on today and lo and behold the right honorable Judge Scott Johansen of Price, Utah just handed me a daisy. He raised the concerns of The Utah Division of Child and Family services when he removed a baby from the foster care of two lesbians and placed it with a more, shall we say, normal couple. The two faggots, or rather fagesses were in a routine hearing when the judge brought the hammer down. They are part of a group now allowed to foster stemming from the SCOTUS ruling allowing rainbow flags for everyone. I told you people about Porter, didn’t I? First the Mormon prophet clarified the Church stance on this kind of thing, and now a judge has cemented that position. The lawyers up there are saying that they believe the judge’s religion views may have influenced his ruling. You think?
Nobody wants to call this what it is. Well, that’s my job. Doc Greene said I’m an equal opportunity offender so here goes. Homosexuals should not be raising kids. Why? Because their homosexual, that’s why. What kind of life is the kid going to have? Go to school and all the other kids have a normal home, and they’re the one with two mommies, or two daddies. You know, the couple no one looks at during a PTA meeting. The Mafia hit man, Ice Man, once got next to a victim in a crowded night club by dressing gay because he’d observed the previous night that no one would look directly at a gay couple dancing. Popped the guy with a needle and his death ruled a heart attack until years later with the Ice Man told about it on an HBO special. That’s how weird gays really are! And a kid is saddled with that?
Utah is a great big pool of common decency. The liberal left is so into PC that when a man stands up for that decency, and calls it what it really is they lose their minds. I’d marry a girl from Utah except for two things; I drink whiskey and smoke cigars. Of course the Gay Alliance is all over this. It remains to be seen how the judge’s ruling holds up, but please note in my humble opinion 99.99 percent of the population up there is on the judge’s side, but we’ve already seen the will of the people means absolutely nothing to the Obama administration. If he had two daughters they’d look like the foster parents. Wait, he does have two daughters, but I digress.
My former sister in law got married in Utah last night. She married a man, which was very politically incorrect, but a woman officiated so I guess it’ll pass in the whacked out world of LGBT order. There is a fight coming, and brothers and sisters, them Mormons ain’t gonna back off on this. We’re about to play cowboys and fairies. There is a lot at stake. Just like I said last week, Utah is a great prize for the gays. Remember when Wendy Davis tried to turn Texas blue? Well, the LGBT is trying to turn Utah pink. If you think that’s going to happen have I got a temple for you, and it’s on sale!

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Avenging Angel

The Gay Alliance has taken dead aim at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As usual the three percent of the population has the opinion that their opinion is the opinion, and the rest of us must kiss the glove, or whatever else they wish to have kissed. They have chosen this course of action because it has worked so well with other Christian denominations in the past, such as the Episcopal Church, who caved in to the God of Political Correctness, so, naturally, they believed that the Mormons would follow suit.
The current prophet of the LDS Church Thomas S. Monson, while conceding to the right of all Americans to own property, enjoy a peaceful life, whatever that life may be, followed up by letting everyone know that same sex is not the behavior of the brethren in any shape, form or fashion. Here come the Rainbow flags in full regalia. Now this works most of the time, most recently in Kentucky, where the modern response to any resistance by the LGBT is met by complete capitulation. The image of the two young men at the door, elder this and elder that gives an illusion of tranquility. Boys and girls I give you Porter Rockwell.
Porter was known as an Avenging Angel. As a child he knew Joseph Smith, and reportedly was one of the first to hear of the vision Joseph had concerning the golden plates, the angels, and all the things that would later find their way to the Mormon belief set. Porter was illiterate and believed every word Joseph said. Joseph told him to never cut his hair, and that would make him invincible. Looks like it did because Porter demonstrated his ability many times and survived gun fights, one after another. It is a matter of debate if Brigham Young actually ordered him to do his job, or if he was just a loose cannon defending the church his childhood friend started. He did take it very personal that Smith told him not to come to his side in the Carthage jail on June 27, 1844. Suffice to say if Porter had been on the other side of that door the results would have been decidedly different. Porter made the Outlaw Josey Wales look like an altar boy.
If you remember, in my article “Quarters in a Cup,” I allude to something I call “Mormon Culture.” While, as you know, I have a field day with religion, I have no issues with that culture. They saved my grandchildren, and that puts them on the “friends” list. To put it in Killeen vernacular, the Mormons are “down” with family, family being boy meets girl, make baby, raise baby in their home, baby goes on mission, comes back to Salt Lake and goes to work. They don’t understand boy meets boy, and whatever happens next, which is not what Joseph Smith came up with on the Hill Cumorah, and have no intention, whatsoever of letting Rainbow Flags fly above the temple in Salt Lake City.
So, what’s the connection between Porter and the LGBT? Porter was the chief of the Danites. Don’t ask, just know that the Mormons believe in tribes of Israel and the Danites are like, well, Joshua. The Church has absolutely no intention of diluting their entire mindset to accommodate a complete bastardization of everything they hold to be holy and true. While their theology may be different, their focus on mom’s apple pie is quite clear.
The Gay Alliance has drawn a line in the sand in Utah. While churches such as the Episcopalian go through multiple con-fag-ulations, trying to fly under the radar, and the Bible, and the Christian thought of two thousand years, the constitution, not to mention common sense, the Mormons will have none of this. Boys are boys, girls are girls, God is God, and Bruce Gender is a freak. Case closed. You will never see an LDS sanctioned same sex marriage. You know, when you’re right you’re just right. Could it be, if there really is a God that he chose a people with a heart for America, and the steady hand of Porter Rockwell?

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

I Have a Dream

I have a dream. I see an America where you can go into a restroom at any time, regardless of gender, and indulge in any act of depravity that suits your fancy, I have a dream. I envision a time when you can have relations with any person, of any sex, anywhere, anytime, and if that person is a child it will be understood that you are not diseased you are only “minor attracted,” I have a dream! A world where only the most disenfranchised, the most confused, the most sociopathic are allowed to have a gun and the rest are secure in gun free zones oh, I have a dream today.

I can clearly see a time when the Statue of Liberty will welcome the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to take everything they can without even a bubble gum wrapper of paperwork allowing entry, and their culture will supplant the Constitution because a goat herder talked to some angel in a cave fourteen hundred years ago, I have a dream! I see a beautiful vision where a man is voted woman of the year, and Christian churches throw open their doors to the devil. In this brave new world the Qu’ran will be revered and the Bible will be against the law, where women wear sack cloth and high school cheer leaders are assaulted for being beautiful, oh, Lord, I have a DREAM!!

I see a world where entire cities are turned over to anyone who needs a “get out of jail free” card until those cities are degraded to the level of a war zone and no citizen is safe to even take a bus to the mall, what a glorious dream I have today. I see women being killed while having ice cream on a pier with their father and Judges at a loss trying to decide if it is a crime because the killer is not American.

In my dream I see a school system with standards so low that the Russians laugh at graduates from it who can’t even write their own names, I have a dream today. I see an economy so degraded that the Mexicans start jumping the border to get back into Mexico after they rob, rape and kill, and no man may say anything about it for fear of the god of political correctness, I have a dream today.

I dream of the day when all of God’s children, should they survive abortion, will not be judged by the content of their character, but by the content of their pocket, I have a dream. A day when they run down the middle of the street, under the Rainbow Flag screaming, “Free at Last! Free at last!” I will not be there with you. I shall not cross over. God has not chosen me. Do not be disinherited, however. I’ll be in Canada! I have a dream.

The word you’re looking for is “Facetious.”

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Sgt Martland

How far do Muslims have to go before the world says, “Enough?” How far does common decency have to be stretched before the rubber band snaps? Sgt Charles Martland honored his oath in Afghanistan when he intervened in the rape of a little boy, and now he’s being drummed out of the army. Two bronze stars, one with valor, years of service, gone! A boy chained to a bed, being raped. Mother went to Sgt Martland begging, and the soldier stopped it!

Normally I can be clever, make light, used words to circle the issue, but not now. The Afghan involved was just following his master, Mohammed, who married a five year old girl. Oh, sure, he didn’t consummate the marriage until she was nine, nice guy, but Muslims go through great pain to explain how this was proper, and we have to understand the “times.” Ok, it’s time to dispense with all the political correctness and call these pervs what they are. PERVS! They rape little boys, but they stone beautiful women for being beautiful. Now, I’m just a Simple Ol’ Boy from Austin, but that’s a queer, folks!

The greatest oxymoron imaginable is to hold a man such as Sgt Martland to such a high standard, and then turn on him for acting on that standard. The defense of the helpless. I thought that’s what we were over there for in the first place. It seems as if we just cleared the playing field for every weird, perverted animal to run amuck and do whatever he wants. And, in all of our new, liberal, mindset the rules of engagement become convoluted. The Libtards want religion out of our lives, but they stand in defense of anything Muslim. Do the logic; Muslims are perverts, Liberals defend Muslims, therefore Liberals are perverts. See how that works?

One thing for sure, Sgt Martland is not a pervert! He is a soldier, honoring his oath. If you are offended by this please go to this petition and sign it. Forward it to everyone you know. Call your Congressman, call your friends, and raise a stink! We cannot let this warrior fall. This is so black and white it defies logic. How can such an action even be considered? Patton would have just shot the pervert on the spot. We need to take a good long look at the slime that lives over there, and a real hard look at the slime passing itself off as “refugees” right now. Wanna see where liberal thought takes you? I give you GERMANY! France, too. All those Nancy Boys downing America, now watching as Muslims tear up their countries. Like I said before, we’re not going to come over and save you again.

I’m going to be up front with you. When I see a guy wearing a dress, with a beard, a turban, and screaming, “Allah Akbar,” I don’t think of his religious rights, I just see a queer. And all you gay rights idiots out there better wise up. These new friends of yours will chunk you fairies off a roof to see if you can fly! What is happening to Martland is as wrong as pooping in bed, and I’ll bet the “Holy Qu’ran” approves of that too!

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

The Jawbone of an Ass

I sent out a notice to my Facebook friends last night that I was leaving Facebook. There are many factors concerning this decision, and I’m going to try to explain them here. First off the statistics. For all the hoopla generated by Zuckerberg and company, for me Facebook is virtually worthless. I place articles in dozens of groups and get, mmmm, maybe twenty reads a day. Compare that with the Tea Party Tribune, Patriotic Warriors, Raging Elephants, the Dam Good Times, MY blogs, and Twitter. Twitter alone gave me 13,000 reaches just since midnight last night. (Zuck you Zuckerberg!)

Another problem is my drinking habits. I like Jim Beam and Martinis. Both I take straight. When I see some girly-man pour Coke in a shot of Beam I wonder why he’s drinking at all. Same with my writing. When I put something on Facebook I have to include two shots of water to dumb it down for the Facebook police. Now, I’m not going harp on that old “freedom of speech” argument. It’s their little sex site and they have a right to run it as they see fit. I mean, I’m not a communist. But, when I have to edit every other line for political correctness so as not to offend some freaky looking school kid that got lucky on the internet I just get madder, and madder, and madder.

And, if you are white, and Christian the rules change all the time. You never know if you’re in-house, or out-house. One day you can post a Richard Pryor joke and it’s all cool, and the next to type the word “Muslim,” and you do ten days in Facebook jail! And I’m not even a good Christian! If I get into heaven it’ll be because Saint Peter fell asleep at the gate. As you might imagine, all this is extremely perplexing to a political satirist who used to write adult country comedy in Nashville. Oh, did I mention that I like women? That’s a Facebook No No, too. You gotta be gay. Heterosexuality is the new black. That and baby killing. And if you’re gay and pro-choice? Shut the front door! So you got two sets of rules. If you’re a liberal leftist with a same sex friend you can post most anything you want. Just call yourself Muslim, and , well, shucks. . . over coffee a week ago I got to look at a picture of a formerly lovely young lady who championed the cause of the refugees in Sweden. Well, she has looked better. The picture I saw was her body on some rocks, naked, with her head bashed in and her legs spread like a baked chicken. But Facebook is offended by Leatherface waving his chainsaw.

So, here I am stepping gingerly through Facebook barbed wire, trying to water down my stuff enough to not get slammed and getting about twenty or thirty consistent reads. That’s like the girl that loads up your Visa and takes the bartender home. Now, before you think I am an unsuspecting victim I baited Facebook, ok? Last night I kept pushing the envelope until they popped. To be honest, I’m not totally leaving. I will maintain contact with some friends, and my granddaughter who reads my stuff on her iPhone while in college. I began the migration away from Facebook about a year ago. I didn’t rely on it for any distribution of merit.

I have several places that I can be found. Google is one. Now I don’t understand Google. I’m everywhere there. I started several blogs. At one point each article was a separate blog. I wrote for Angel Eyes Over Texas for a while (still do) so you can find old stuff that I don’t even remember writing. There is a subscribe button, and you can click it and get that blog emailed to you as it updates. WordPress is my workhorse. Even the Tea Party Tribune uses it as a foundation. Actually, I was coming out of the Tribune and most of what went to Facebook was links back to that publication. Its sister site, Patriotic Warriors, gets mirror images of the articles. The Dam Good Times is my brick and mortar. I’m there monthly in a section called “Wilbur’s Corner.” Crystal Lee Larimore runs that, and she’s nice to me so long as I don’t cuss. You might want to consider subscribing that that paper. Good Texas stuff that you won’t find anywhere else. Then there is Raging Elephants Radio. Doc Greene made me what I am today. You can go there, but you can also get the station on the TuneIn App on your smartphone. On the site there is a chatroom where you can interact with the hosts (and yes, they will really chat with you) and express your ideas.

My articles go worldwide. Just like my books, I get copied, and distributed by people I never met, and will never know. I’m not hard to find. What I realized was that I was short changing all of these outlets by licking the boots of Facebook, and that’s why I made the decision to move away from that medium. I submit to two other quite well known talk show hosts, but I won’t name drop here, suffice to say my move will not affect that in any way. Both men have had issues with Facebook themselves, and who knows, I may start something here.

Ok, publicity! Ring the bell, school’s in. Yesterday I did an article about little Ahmed the watch maker up in Irving. Now, you have to understand, I’m sixty-four, on a back porch in Hotterthanhell, Texas, over my first cup of coffee and a cigarette. I check the news and here’s this story about this kid bringing a clock to school and gets jacked up by the cops. Well, I am leery of cops, and I really don’t like school teachers so here I go. Then I published it, and then I had a second cup of coffee and began to peel the onion. Do you know how hard it is to get publicity? You could set a puppy on fire on main street and get maybe thirty-five views on YouTube. You could write an article proving the existence of God, and have photographs of the Big Bang and if you’re lucky your mother might read it. Sooooooo, little Ahmed brings his contraption to school and the east and west coasts light up. Now just how do you suppose that happened? Could there be some organization with an agenda lurking behind the scenes? You betcha. It’s called CAIR. CAIR is the organization that supposedly tries to reconcile Islam with USlam, by putting the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders in Burqas. Ok, students, there are two kinds of Muslims in the world. The radical Muslims who want to kill you, and the moderate Muslims who want the radical Muslims to kill you. On the surface some kid getting slapped for a clock seems harmless enough. What about the next clock? See how that works. Ever wonder why all those guys getting their heads cut off on the ISIS show seem so calm. That’s because they’ve been put in that position so many time they think it’s just another dry run. In every science fair I ever saw in school the students were assigned a project by the teacher. The teacher was fully aware of what was being done, indeed, maybe even assisting the kid along the way. Then along comes Ahmed with this briefcase sized “clock” and walks in with the digital display running. If this punk was so smart, why didn’t he redesign the Apple Watch?

Anyway, I am constructing an alternative to Facebook. That’s the plan. I will tweak things along the way, and invite advice from everyone. I have to figure a way to sell my latest book, A Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin. I have another I’m working on, “I Crappith Thee NOT!” I live in Texas, so I don’t have to make much money, that’s why the book is so cheap. I have one thing I like to do that costs a bit, and that’s trips to California to drink wine and watch girls swim in the ocean. The view is free, but the wine is a bit pricey. Thank you all for your support, and I will continue to attack liberals with the jawbone of an ass.

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Wedding Cake Anyone?

Years ago I saw a movie, Jason and the Argonauts. It was one of those things about ancient Greeks, some stuff out of Homer, I guess, anyway there was this one scene where Jason was fighting these skeletons. These pricks were running around, grinning, waving swords, and every time Jason would clobber one, they blew into gazillion pieces and ended up in a pile of dog bones . . . and then, they got right back UP! Boys, girls, and all flavors in between, I give you GAY MARRIAGE!

This is a very important issue. Don’t worry about the border, black lives mattering, Ebola in every house, the possibility of Hillary in the White House, the possibility of the White House in Trump’s house, or ten thousand screaming Muslims hitting the port of New York with blood in their eyes, we gotta get these gays under control! That’s the most important thing there is. Yesterday, on my news feed, it even trumped Trump.

Ok, yet again, I go before the bench to school you people about life in fairy land. God knows we didn’t have gay people before about eighteen months ago, right? This is something that nobody ever considered since Caesar had a boyfriend, correct? For all those out there without a frontal lobe I’m being facetious. That’s where you make a point by using absurdity. Now, where was I, oh yes, of COURSE we had gay folk back in the day. We called ’em “queers.” All sections of the country had them. From Truman Capote to that movie, Broke Dick Mountain, queers were everywhere. So what’s the problem?

Well, the problem is Americans. Yep, them bastards again. All men are created equal. Women are a little less equal and homosexuals fall in a kinda split equality. We like the waiter, but don’t like his boyfriend. Now before I go on I want to say up front that I believe in marriage. I’ve believed in it five times during my life. What God hath joined together let no man put asunder. God didn’t count on brother in laws, mother in laws, or that cute sister in law we don’t want to talk about, but that’s another article.

Americans tend to want everyone to be treated equally, unless, of course you’re black, then one faction wants you in the cotton fields, and the other in the White House. Let’s just say for grits and grins that down at the court house we are all SUPPOSED to be citizens, ok? Now, I’m fixing to ruffle some feathers here, I do those things, but do you think if them two gay fellers had come in to pay their taxes on a house where the deed had both their names on it, Kim Davis would have refused their money, because if you do have I got a bridge for you and it’s on SALE!

I saw an article last night expounding (yet again) the separation of church and state, but verily, verily, I say unto thee, the very moment you pass the first dollar across the counter for a marriage “license” you just “married” the church and state. (You may swat them bees now.) IF you’re religious, and IF you want to get married, why do you have to go to the state and attain a permit? Wedding night, union of man and woman, twenty-five dollars, hmmmmmm. Last time I gave a woman twenty five dollars for a situation like that I didn’t call it a “Holy Union.”

If we’re going to “license” something then let’s just DO it! Every license I ever had involved something called “renewal.” So, I take Frenchi down to the courthouse and get married. A year rolls around, and the new wears off. Problems arise. We go to councilors, she gets “saved,” I read some book about being sensitive, but nothing works. Then another year goes by and I say, “Frenchi, we’re coming up for renewal of this license, and, well, I don’t think I’m going to do it this year. No divorce, no hard feelings, no muss, no fuss.

Right now, in my Tea Party circle, the Islam Invasion is the big deal. Muslims want to get in everybody’s business. We Americans tend to leave people alone so long as they leave us alone. If two guys want to shack up and call it a marriage, and you don’t believe in it, but you believe in an omnipotent God, then it only goes to follow that that God has your back. Do I agree with the gay lifestyle? No. Will I not invite an old friend to a cocktail party because he wants to bring his boyfriend? No! Because that would involve hate, and that’s what the Muslims do, they love Allah, but they hate everybody else.

Ok, solution time. End marriage license. If you’re religious get married down at the church and your union will be in the church records. If you are secular get a civil official to do it and sign some kind of legal paper saying you’re hitched. GOVERNMENT! All people must be taxed the same and may leave property to survivors whomEVER those survivors may be! The country will survive. We survived Jimmy Carter, and there’s a fair to midland chance we may survive Obama. Stop pimping marriage! The churches canNOT impose rules down at the courthouse and the courts canNOT tell churches whom they must marry! Learn it, live it, love it!

Kim Davis made her point. She’s homophobic, ok, we get that. I’m simply not. My sexuality is not challenged by Mr. and Mr. My self-assessment is not upset by Mrs. and Mrs. though I do find that a bit more entertaining than two guys, but that’s just me. We need to move past this to more pressing issues. When the Muslims take over the Capitol steps in Austin screaming, “Allah Akbar!” and twenty three Christians show up, it’s time to stop worrying about two guys kissing in the park, because that’s what the Muzzies want! If we don’t come together and address these issues these goat herders are going to tear down the country and boys and girls, you won’t be worried about gay marriage then . . . you’ll be worried about your LIFE! Wedding cake anyone?

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

One Little Old Lady

All it took was one little old lady standing up, and the entire gay community got its panties in a knot. Let’s just call a spade a spade, and we’re not talking about Al Sharpton here. Homosexual behavior is unnatural. Dry hole vs wet hole. (Who said that?) The average life span for gays is sixty-two years, and the leading cause of death is suicide. Now, we’ll always have gays. Some people are just weird, but a small percentage of the population cannot rule the country. I’m not saying they don’t have rights, but marriage is, well, marriage!

Ok, here’s the rub. It isn’t just the sexual divination. The gay agenda is a war on God. Hey girls, if God doesn’t exist how come you fighting so hard? If Kim Davis had said she didn’t want to sign those papers because she considers gays to be a bunch of Sodomite maggots that would have been one thing, but she invoked God’s name and that can’t be tolerated. There is an all-out frontal assault on Christianity occurring right now. It’s everywhere. Just last week I exclaimed, “JESUS!” and one of my grandsons told me, “Don’t say that bad word.” Some school teacher had told him that.

When the gays chose the marriage issue they dove for the very heart of Christian belief. They sliced right through common decency to the family, which is the core of America and told us it means nothing. They could pollute it at any time. All that good Americans hold sacred got washed down the drain of a San Francisco bath house. And most Christians turned the other cheek. The gays showed us BOTH of their cheeks and told us to kiss them!

And all it took was one little old lady to just stand up and walk into the coliseum. Same as it ever was. Jesus does things like that, and He does it to make a point. The Devil mixes truth with lies. Gays are citizens, right? So, if you believe that then you simply must believe its perfectly fine for two men to come together as man and wife, right? WRONG! When you lie with a woman there is a fair to midland chance a baby will come out of it, unless Planned Parenthood gets involved and then it becomes inventory, but when two men lie together you just get AIDS! There is nothing prolific about the gay lifestyle. Oh, I’m sure there are nice gays out there. I’m sure a Nazi SS officer gave a candy bar to a little girl at some point, but it is like having an affair with your sister. Feels good at the time, but that don’t make it right!

What you will see is now that as straight people have seen one person stand up, more and more will come forward and not try to argue details about the constitution. They will just cry, “Foul!” Gay marriage is on the books. They have crammed that up our butts, but the Christian MAJORITY will now put the gay community BACK in the bath houses where it belongs. These rump rangers will go to the back of the bus. Ain’t democracy wonderful? If this article isn’t politically incorrect for y’all, it’s early yet, and I’m on my first cup of coffee . . . .with FRENCHI!
Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin