Bonnie and Clyde Didn’t HAVE No Cellphone

Good Lord willing, and the creek don’t rise, tomorrow, at 4:00 PM, New York time, you should be able to make a phone call, and some pervert in Utah won’t be listening in! That provision of the Patriot Act that enabled the NSA to do what would put you and I in jail will pass into history. Thank God, and Edward Snowden.

I have noticed something over the years. Any time you try to blend the words “intelligence” and “government” you get a mustard and jelly sandwich. As more and more money processes through the government gumshoe express, less and less gets done, and the selected agency will practically live on Capitol Hill, giving long, detailed renditions of how the entire country will dissolve like an Alka Seltzer should they miss even one dollar in the upcoming fiscal year. Just like those idiotic cops this week in Austin, sitting there with a gun on their hip, trying to explain why we shouldn’t have a gun on OUR hip! THAT kind of dog and pony show!

Now let’s examine this. How many terrorists has the NSA nabbed that stemmed from the billions spent hiring people eavesdropping on Claire, and her eighty year old twin sister out in Lampasas, Texas discussing Bar B Que recipes? Let’s see, them fellers up in Boston? No, missed that. How about those two guys up in Garland? No, I think Pamela Geller got them. With all this time and money I’m sure they caught SOMEbody. They did stick their hands in my pants at an airport out in LA. No, that wasn’t the NSA that was the TSA. I know . . . They caught SNOWDEN! Wrong again, he caught THEM. Well, they did get some nice computers, and a bunch or real swanky buildings. But, so did the Mormon Church, and all they want to do is get you off coffee.

Did you notice how when Putin let Snowden stay in Russia he didn’t seem to be interested in what Edward had? That’s ’cause there wasn’t anything THERE, folks! All them there terabytes of information with no more import than a Betty Crocker Cook Book. And you’re PAYING these people! Oh, entities like the NSA, CIA, FBI, and all the rest are real good at ticking people off, starting wars and riots, but let someone such as Osama Bin Forgotten sit twenty five miles away, sipping on fruit juice, and looking at pictures of naked goats, and they’re clueless! The “intelligence” gathering think tanks are remarkably consistent at this. They missed all those Japanese planes at Pearl Harbor, and told nineteen wild eyed fanatics to “have a nice flight” on 9/11! Now, I’m just a simple ol’ boy from Austin, but am I missing something here? Any Texas deputy sheriff would have sniffed at those pressure cookers in Boston that day and said, “There ain’t no brisket in there!”

Bonnie and Clyde didn’t HAVE a cell phone. They had Frank Hamer hot on their butts with five very irritated Texas Rangers. A Texas Sheriff chased Henry Lee Lucas all the way to California, and dragged his screaming butt all the way back to Texas. Uh, Henry didn’t have a cell phone either.

Hey, I’ve got an idea, why don’t we do this. First off, stop meddling in the affairs of other countries that we are supporting. Let THEM run their show on THEIR dime. I think scrounging for a sandwich might take the zeal out of Allah, what do you think? Next, stop letting unemployed criminals come across the border and take up residence in condos in Dilly, Texas. That might be a good idea, huh, and last but not least, don’t let any more ARABS fly on planes! HEY, I should run for president, I really should!


Stand Up

Let’s guys be frank. You ladies can be Francine. We Texans look like a bunch of tin foil whackos to most of the country. No, we really do. I think a little perspective is required here. Now I’m going to say some things that some of you won’t agree with, but let me ask you a question. Do you really want a free and independent Texas, or are we just gonna just have one big beer party, and sit behind our keyboards and bitch? That having been asked, I’m probably the biggest keyboard bitcher of all, so that’s really the pot calling the kettle black. Oh, I’ve got excuses, grand kids, my legs, money, weather, gasoline, I’ve got it all, but to be honest I’d have to stand on my mother’ shoulders to kiss someone like Micha Cambo’s ass, I’ll be honest, so don’t take my words personally. We’ve all fallen short of the glory.

There is a growing percentage of Texans who would rather NOT have that American flag flying above the Capitol. Not because we don’t have reverence for what it stands, oh, my bad, STOOD for, but because we’d just like to get up in the morning with freedom of speech, ALL our wages in our pockets, our self defense in tact, and our daughters and grand daughters NOT being raped by some CPS caseworker. Wouldn’t it be loverly? And our opposition is profound. Just last night I put up a picture on Facebook. My group of rowdy friends had a field day with it. It showed CJ Grisham, standing in the Capitol Rotunda, grinning like a fox in a hen house, and behind and to his left was the most sour-faced school ma’arm I’ve ever seen in my life! Hey, I crappith thee not, this was one pissed off, ugly bitch, and I’m being conservative here. She was a member of a group called “Mothers For Gun Sense In America.” Do you remember Miss Hathaway on the Beverly Hillbillies? Well, she looked like that, but Nancy Culp was an actress. She was PAID to look like that! This woman was all upset because she didn’t get to usurp the constitution of the United States. Her organization puts up endless stories on the Internet about some nine year old shooting some five year old with daddy’s gun that was left out on the kitchen table, and their answer to the problem is to leave us all defenseless before every criminal who ever smoked a meth pipe. Never mind the kitchen knives, rat poison, medications, and keys left in the car that happens ever year with tragic results, GUNS are the problem. Now, being nieve is forgivable for a woman, but nieve AND ugly I cannot abide.

All that having been said, this idiot has one thing on most of us. She showed UP! She, and a contingent of like minded old bats lined up, and gave a long, pre-written monolog to the senators, with a blank left to insert their name, in the hope of stopping the Open Carry legislation that was wearing out horses approaching the floor, and if not for the Herculean efforts of CJ, and others like him we would have lost the right to carry a POCKET KNIFE. I’d have to stand on my mother’s shoulders to kiss HIS ass, too, by the way.

What CJ has done is invaded the sacred domain of the State House. He threw open the windows and let fresh air blow in, and the mindless, liberal droning was overcome by the rushing winds of liberty. Liberals don’t like that. They want men marrying men, women marrying women, dogs marrying cats, and a dead baby in every dumpster. They want Mikey Cyrus twerking with some girly-man right in front of your little girl, but will expel her from school if she says out loud that she doesn’t like President Obama. They want to provide that same little girl with a free abortion without your knowledge, and then talking her into a same sex relationship, and forget about God . . . Allah is the one true god, and Obama, I mean Mohammed is his profit, er, prophet! THIS is what we’re up against! Well, I don’t buy into this crap. MY grandchildren were in a flag drawing contest, came home to eat AMERICAN hot dogs, and watch “American Sniper,” last Friday, and cheered every single time a Muslim bit the sand!

The liberals only defense is to make us look like a bunch of tin foil wearing right wing nuts. By attacking everything real Americans hold sacred. they construct a norm. Flag waving, Bible believing Americans are ridiculed, while turban wearing pedophiles are held up as pillars of society, Hitler once said that if you are going to tell a lie, tell a big one, and if you repeat it enough it will become “truth!” You want to see those “truths” in action? Well dig this! The constitution is not valid when held up against Sharia Law, and must be supplanted in those cases involving Muslims. Criminals invading our country are really undocumented immigrants, and must be afforded the same rights as citizens. Homosexual relationships are healthy, and churches must bless them no matter what their basic tenants of faith are, and executive orders pre-empt Congress in all matters if the Congress, i.e. the PEOPLE should disagree with the philosophy of the White House, and you know I’m not making this up!

When people start talking about outlandish theories of Reptilians invading the population, supposed military training exercises setting us up for martial law, and the President’s wife being a man our credibility goes right down the drain. Then the snipers in Waco open fire and the grim light of reality shines to the glee of the Liberals who are the nemesis of everything holy, everything decent, everything AMERICAN! Well, we won THIS battle, but there are many more to come. The police do not need to be disarmed, they need to be equalized. We can no longer afford a class that is hands above the citizens simply because they are armed and shout louder than the rest of us. Surprisingly this will not affect good cops. An armed citizenry doesn’t bother an honest man at all, it worries bullies!

BE active. BE there when “Miss Hathaway shows up. BE there when some CPS worker wrenches a screaming baby from a mothers arms. BE Texas! Don’t be afraid. If you don’t believe in secession then stand up for that American flag, but by GOD stand UP for it! My son, Master Chief Wilbur William Witt III has stood up for that flag EIGHT times. Don’t be politically correct. Correctness is what WE say it is, not some homosexual comedian out in LA. God is who WE say He is, not some camel jockey who likes to kiss little boys, and America is what WE say it is, not some guy who won his last election simply because his skin was darker than his opponent’s! Always remember, there are more of US than there are or THEM. And NSA, now you’ve tasted my mutton . . . how do you like it, huh?

#mothersgunsense #opencarry #consitution

Mexicans Shoot Back

When you have a major catastrophic event it takes days, sometimes years to sort out the facts. So it will be with Waco. Sherlock Holmes said that when you take away the impossible, that which remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Just like an onion. Let’s start peeling, shall we?

While there were rumored to have been up to five clubs at Twin Peaks that day, there were two clubs that were significant. Oh, and by the way, I refer to the bikers as “clubs,” not “gangs!” You see, that’s how people, or groups become demonized. You throw in a word here and there, and those words create what we call, “mental images,” unless, of course you’re black, and you’re burning down places like Ferguson, or Baltimore, then there are laws protecting you because if Obama had any sons, they’d look like them, but I digress.

Now where was I? Oh yes, two clubs. We have the Bandidos, and a cuddly little band of merry men known as the Cossacks. The Bandidos have been around since Jesus was a corporal. The Cossacks were relative new comers to the Texas scene. Now these guys have rules. They abide by these rules. Kinda like a constitution, and they follow it which puts them head and shoulders above Obama right there. They have territories, and interests attached to those territories. Mostly, it boils down to this is THEIR state. They don’t like people rolling in from places like California, and acting like they belong here, and unlike some folks, they’ll stand up and defend that. There are rules of etiquette. You see, there’s this thing called a “rocker” that sits below the club emblem on the jacket. That “rocker” signifies the club’s place or origin. The rule is very plain. If you’re from California, don’t put Texas on that Jacket! You think this is silly? Consider this; most Bikers are vets. Patches, medals, and ribbons MEAN things. Men fought and died for those things, and they aren’t to be taken lightly. This is opposed to letting a bunch of Muslims have prayer day on the state Capitol while we all sit there and wring our pearly white hands, wishing they’d just go away.

Honor, loyalty, and respect are important to these men. So, here come the Cossacks rolling into Texas, putting a Texas rocker on their jackets, and flipping the bird at the Bandidos. They really did that, folks. I’ve seen the pictures. Now they didn’t all immediately meet down on Main Street and start exchanging blows. Realizing the volatile nature of the situation they had meetings at places like Twin Peaks to try to find a middle ground. This is where it gets crazy. Let’s start peeling that onion.

Let’s get all the players in place. You have at least two rival clubs, and the cops, and brothers and sisters we HAD some cops there, serving and protecting. Regular cops, state cops, SWAT cops, and most likely a few Feds, who can’t seem to find any problems down on the border where the REAL “gangs” are, but they sure found Waco. Now, I’m gonna tell you from the get go, I don’t like Waco, and I don’t like Feds! I’ve been all over Texas and I can count the times I stopped in Waco on one hand. I think the FBI, CIA, and NSA are a complete waste of money we could just buy beer with, and do more good, but that’s just me. (Now watch the NSA assign a team to study that last statement trying to figure out what I really meant. See what I mean?)

So, hail, hail, the gang’s all here. Twin Peaks full of Bikers, and cops behind every bush, and on every roof. Oh yeah, they had snipers out that day serving, and protecting us. Pour a little beer on the fire and voila! You get a fist fight. Most amazing thing I ever saw, bikers drinking beer, and fighting in a bar. Never saw THAT coming. Well, as luck would have it, they spilled out into the parking lot. Now, consider this. All these seasoned Bikers, KNOWING the cops are there, suddenly decide to start shooting. If you believe that, well, have I got a bridge for you. Actually, I do! There’s this old bridge right there in Waco that looks like a miniature version of the Golden Gate. Ok, peel that onion. How many Bikers were shot, and how many COPS were shot? Do the math, connect the dots.

Before it was all over there were lots of bodies, and I think 172 arrests, all for “organized crime” and not ONE cell phone video to be had. DUDE! Even ISIS has cell phones. Of course, there was some gum shoe saying it was the most violent crime scene he’d seen in all his thirty-four years “serving and protecting” us. Guess he had the day off when Janet Reno decided to torch that church, huh? They sealed off the entire area so they could sanitize it, and the picture we DO have is all these mad dog bikers sitting docile on a bench, arrested. Now THAT’S a BLOOMING onion.

Of course the spin got to going, with the “authorities” claiming the bikers were putting a hit on all law enforcement . . . NO cops were shot that day. Don’t you think if the bikers were so vicious toward cops at least ONE of them would have thrown a beer mug, or SOMETHING? We’ve all seen this before. David Koresh led a band of crazy fanatics bent on overthrowing the government, and marrying little girls. Not ONE conviction in federal court. The bikers came out of Twin Peaks, guns a blazing . . . Not ONE cop got hurt, nor people in ANY of the surrounding shops. Swat them bees.

What gets me is if the government can amass such a force against AMERICANS what’s the problem with the border? Just string them snipers along that fence and little girls will be able to play jacks in the Texas sand. Oh, my bad . . . Mexicans shoot BACK!

Y’all Have a Blessed Day

RE: My post this morning.

First, I’d like to apologies to the Kats and Kittens about the dry nature of this mornings article, but ISIS is nothing to laugh at, and I love you guys and gals. ISIS is going to hit us, that’s not a conspiracy theory, they already DID it! Oh, and I just love the way the news commentators say the the ISIS connection hasn’t been “confirmed.” Just like when they cut someone’s head off on video and the state department says they are checking on the ” validity” the film. I did say something about boar hogs, didn’t I? Do they think these guys punch a time clock? Our story wasn’t bloody enough for them. Huge body counts are a big plus for the nightly news, the bigger the better, and if those bodies are in Texas? OMG! This morning there was a little story about some guy carrying a flag in front of the event center in Garland, of course quoting the young man saying he didn’t agree with upsetting someone’s religion. Above that was a story reminding us all about how queer Bruce Jenner is. THAT was very important.

There was a subtle line in my story this morning, and I’m sure y’all didn’t miss it. Cudos to Doc Greene for giving it to me yesterday. Like I said, note the complete absence of “good” Muslims during that event. You’d have thought there was a string of carts serving up Bar B Q’d pork in the parking lot by Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. (Muslims don’t like girls either.) Anyway, if I were a Muslim, and I were all bent out of shape by a bunch of people drawing pictures, I would have organized fifty or so companions, spread prayer rugs across the parking lot, had a call to prayer, and did a session the entire time. If you will note, they didn’t DO that. Not one even drove by and flipped the bird. They KNEW!

This brings me to my main point of this morning’s article. A radical Muslim Wants to kill you. A moderate Muslim wants a radical Muslim to kill you. The reference to the lady in the grocery store in Islamic garb? First off, what kind of idiot DOES that? Yeah, I said it. Dress down past the ankles, head all trussed up with a bath towel? My GRANDMOTHER didn’t dress like that, and she was a hell fire Southern Baptist! That shows acceptance of the degradation of women, and a crazy mindset. While you’re being all politically correct, and nice to her, she’s bleeding at the nose hating YOU! She won’t shake your hand because you’re filthy! So, in response I want her to go back home. Just playing by the rules they set, folks.

They are going to hit us again. We must be alert. We will win. The Yankees will call us names, talking heads on the news shows will micro analyze, but we can’t be weak about this. My friend, Peter, in London makes a valid point that ISIS and the like are concerns for the world. He is a brilliant man, and I learn much from him, but he doesn’t understand Texans . We can’t fix the world, but we can damn sure fix TEXAS! Let me ask you this; Do you like roaches in your kitchen? Don’t need Muslims in Texas, either! And THEY did this! Texas extended an offer to Brigham Young to settle here when he was on his epic journey to Salt Lake with his people. We ACCEPT people! You have to push a lot of buttons before we decide to throw you off into the Gulf of Mexico! We even accept Gays. Ever been to Austin? Why do you think they call it the “pink” dome? The parks in Austin fill UP with gays after dark, INCLUDING rhe Capitol grounds! We’re just not going to let them come down here, pretend to be married and frolic in front of our kids.

ISIS needs to be aware of two things. We carry guns, and we will kill you back! Pamela Geller DID set a trap for those two men. Some news guy on TV made a big deal out of that like it was some kind of hidden agenda. I wonder what it’s like to be a rocket scientist? We LET Pamela come here and pull her string because Texans have never shrank from a fight. And we DO racially profile. If these little brown bastards think they’re gonna come down here and pull that crap they pulled up in Boston, we’ll send ’em home to mama in a box! SOMEbody had to do it. And stop worrying about Jade Helm. All the King’s horses, and all the King’s men couldn’t even stop Paco from binging ONE joint across the Rio Bravo. What the hell do you think they can do against twenty-three million pissed off Texans? Y’all have a blessed day now, ya hear?

Get ‘r Done!

Texas has weighed in on the war on terror. We took out those two in Garland, but don’t think that’s the end of it. Pamela Geller told it like it was. This is a war. We made a critical mistake when we hung Sadaam, and let Gaddafi to be killed. In fact, we made a mistake when we allowed the Shah of Iran to be deposed. The entire Islamic Crescent we thought we’d created to stem Russia was our undoing. It gave birth to the Arab Spring, and ultimately ISIS.

No use crying over spilled milk. This is the here and now. We must realize the facts. Now, this is going to be a hard article. Texas was targeted long before the art show in Garland. Shooting up a few Frenchmen, or blowing up some foot race in Boston was all very fine, but Texas was the prize. The United States is made up of weak, liberal, confused girly-men who are so indecisive that they can’t decide what bathroom to use. To hurt Texas was very important. Those dead bodies in Garland would have been worth their weight in gold to ISIS. And, for all the NSA, FBI, and Homeland Security, they never saw this coming . . . but WE did! The FBI, CIA, NSA, and Homeland Security are as useless as the tits on a boar hog! If you depend on them you will die.

They would have attacked us anyway. Don’t be jelly fish about it. Pamela Geller set a simple trap, and the wrong dogs came home. They’re dead, I’m glad, but there are more to come, and come they will. Muslims don’t have any sense. They are a deluded people following the insane ramblings of a deluded man. The only thing they understand is death. There is no honor, no morality, no common decency. Mohammed raped a nine year old girl. I don’t care about the “times,” the “culture” and I damn sure don’t care about what the “Holy” Qu’ran says, I didn’t know it was physically possible to have sex with a nine year old girl! THAT is their “prophet,” and you want to negotiate with THAT?

At this point it is very important that you recognize that all Muslims suffer from the same disease as affected Mohammed. They are all the same. Ask yourself; why were there no Muslim protestors at the Garland Art Show? They weren’t there because they all had been told about the impending attack in their Mosques! Not one, not ONE Muslim was anywhere near that building. Do the freaking math!

These people must be addressed. They are ALL suspect. ISIS will hit Texas again and we must be ready. Do not depend on FBI, etc. They are paper tigers. J Edgar Hoover is dead, and he took it all with him. Have you EVER seen the CIA do anything they didn’t screw up? And Homeland Security? Give me a break! It’s up to US! Be aware of every Muslim. If you see a woman in the grocery store with Muslim dress, get AWAY from her. Locate all Mosques in your town and know that they are in there plotting your death, and the death of your family. Don’t be polite. Let them know that they do not belong here and need to go home.

ISIS will hit us again. They have to. We dealt them a decisive blow in Garland and they have to save face. Rip their faces off! These people are not human. They have no soul. These are hard words but these are hard people. It is going to be a hard fight, but their DNA needs to be cleansed from the earth. Just imagine if that one heroic cop had not been in Garland, what would have happened. All right, you know how I feel. Now let’s get ‘r done!

De Facto

We are fast approaching armed revolution in Texas. That should set off whistles and bells down at the NSA. When a group of orderly citizens can’t meet at a VFW and discuss the Republic of Texas without a raid smacking of Elliott Ness we have a major problem! You know what offended me the most? I can almost look past the DPS and Sheriff. I can give a tip of the hat to the Texas Rangers, but by GOD, when the Yankee, Norte, left wing, homosexual, communist FBI gets involved, that’s just too MUCH! WhatEVER was going on in that building that day it was Texas business! I don’t know how to describe my emotion on this, but I think, “Turd in a swimming pool,” just about covers it!

Ron Paul has used my sacred mantra, “De Facto Republic,” now, so I’ve been validated. Just like when I started trying to put CPS workers on death row, and everybody said I was crazy, my De Facto Republic is now. . . well, DE FACTO! What the Keystone Cops raided was a fully operational government. In fact, it was the only legal government left in Texas, if not the United States. And yeah, yeah, yeah, they issued a summons to some crackpot judge and a guy down at the bank. It strikes me as odd that the same federal bozos who spit hairs over Sharia Law, which has absolutely NOTHING to do with AMERICA, can leap like savage rabbits on a bunch of Texans trying to enforce a Texas Constitution, written by Texans, for Texans. I’m just a Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin, but did I miss something here?

“But Wilbur, they had no legal right to issue those summons.” Ok, so they’re a bunch of crazy old men getting drunk at the VFW. Did that justify the raid? If I had been the judge I would have just went there and argued law with them, and if I lost I’d just say, “Ok, now enforce it!” This idiot can’t argue down a bunch of guys in a VFW and he’s a JUDGE? Give me a BREAK! But this FBI thing really irritates me. I’ve seen all the TV shows about them, and Bonnie and Clyde, and Al Capone, and, and and. I really like when they put some guy in prison forEVER until they find some pubic hair in a coffin and figure out the man was in London playing cards at the time of the rape. And they wave that around like it’s such a wonderful thing. How’s that Kennedy assassination working out for you, huh? The greatest cop shop on the planet can’t figure out a Mafia hit. Or the 9/11 thing. Floors blowing out, one, two, three, and they’re STILL pointing to some sick rag head hiding in a cave. By the way, Michael Bee owes me money for medical, because it broke my jaw to admit that. And building seven going down. The first building to collapse from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder! Oh My Living GOD! I just loved that Brit Chick announcing the collapse of building seven while it was STILL standing over her left shoulder.

But, they sho’ can mess up a beer party! If you will note they didn’t raid the Hell’s Angels’ last meeting. Must’ve been something in the air. Like LEAD! Look, what we have here is the government actually denying citizens the right to peacefully assemble and exercise freedom of speech. Oh, yeah, it was an exclusive, secret meeting of a hidden society. . . kinda like the Masons or Mormons, right? They also steer clear of Mosques. God, I could go on and on, but I’m getting redundant here. Back to my original premise, the day is coming when the “Law Enforcement” is going to go crashing into some meeting and the tables will turn FAST. Ain’t no fun when the rabbit’s got the gun! And, yeah, it’ll get messy, and yeah, the lamebrain media will jump on it and call everyone a pedophile, and yeah they will lose in court. . . that time! But how about all the other times? It’s coming people, it’s coming. Remember that phrase. . De Facto!

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Maybe They Won’t Come For Me

Maybe They Won’t Come For Me
by Wilbur

The main problem with the nation today is complacency. The attitude that if you just keep your head down perhaps the machine will pass you by. Those who oppress us count on this. They count on the masses hunkering down in the false safety of their home, not realizing that this bastion of America has disappeared a long time ago.

Your home is not your home. Your children are not your children. Your LIFE is not your life! These have been taken from you and if you have yet to be touched by the CPS, NSA, or IRS it is only because you are “inventory,” not needed at this time. You may even know this but you think, ” Maybe they won’t come for me…THIS time!”

We stand by as children get kidnapped by CPS. We drive by, and look the other way as C J Grisham is arrested for no reason. We allow illegal searches of our property in the false hope that if we only conform perhaps they will leave us alone and take someone else. We have become like Jews in a gas chamber clamoring for the door in the hope of living thirty seconds longer.

I’ve often wondered why I was drawn into the fight against CPS. At first it appeared as a simple fight for my grandchildren, but I now know God had a broader plan for me. Like Job, I had to suffer. I had to feel the pain because then and only then would I understand that there was more at risk than my miserable life. Texas was at stake!

When I realized that my family was gone. When I left my home. When I scraped change to eat, I began to understand, and I felt alone. I felt so alone, and I hung my head and cried. And then God said, “Now you are ready!”

What will it take for us to win this fight ? When you stare at empty chairs. When you get up to an empty house. When a homosexual tells you that you can never see your wife or grandchildren ever again. . . then you’ll know what to do ! And when enough people have tasted the blood in their mouths and hear some woman begging as her child is taken away these people will storm out of their homes into the night with brooms and rakes and clubs and yes, guns and on that night they will do the right thing. And the perpetrators of inequity will cry HAVOC as they beg for their lives, and on that night the Republic of Texas will be reborn.

NSA And That Nasty Ol’ Constitution

The NSA and the Truth
by Wilbur Witt

Forgive me, but I grew up in the 60’s. I have seen the government churn out every version of nonsense you could possibly imagine. I watched Lyndon Johnson convince us that a bunch of broke ass rice farmers were going to take over the world if we didn’t do something quick. Well, quick ended up being ten years, and we got a nice wall in Washington to remind us. Then I got to watch Nixon tell us he was not a crook and when he died they couldn’t bury him. They had to drive a stick through his ears and screw him into the ground. And don’t forget Carter, or on second thought let’s do forget Carter. Then there was Bill (Blow Job) Clinton. How about Bush? Both of them. Jr. Bush told us to forget about those rice farmers, CAMEL jockeys are taking over the world! And we follow suit every time with our tongues hanging out of the side of our mouths just like that stupid dog in Garfield comics!

Now we have the NSA. I have never seen a more lying, stealing, irrational bunch of idiots in my life. Now, I don’t trust Yankees in suits to begin with, but government employed Yankees in suits are on the very top of my list. I put them along about the same level as my Nigerian girlfriends. Ok people, HeadsUp 101. Whenever you use that radio you think is a landline phone SOMEONE is listening. The NSA isn’t special, it isn’t even smart, it’s that most of us are that nieve. Just like the scandal not long ago when people suddenly discovered Apple could locate its iPhones. Uh . . .duh! How do you think that iPhone finds those cell towers? Now everybody’s all pissed off because some government agency is listening to stuff they’re screaming from the rooftops.

What to do? Well the solution is simple. Yep, that nasty old’ constitution again. You see, government employees will always lie. Part of the creed. They have been tapping lines beginning just after Alexander Bell said, “Come here, I need you.” NSA’s sin was not listening, it was not reading . . .the constitution. It was not understanding the word, “admissible.” It was lying to Congress, which is no big deal because Congress lies to US! Snowden didn’t reveal anything new, and if you think he did I have a Rolex I’d like to sell you. I know it’s genuine because the pimp who sold it to me told me it was. Would I lie to you?

If the NSA had to get real warrants, not blank checks, real evidence being set forth for said warrants, not suppositions, and had to abide by the constitution there would be no problem, other than some hurt feelings. Listen all you want Mr NSA, but before you drag your lazy, government contracted butts into a court it better be straight up legal, and you’d better have a case!

I’m thinking of a word, ah, sequester! Yeah, that’s the word. How much would we need to cut from the budget if we just defunded the NSA, and turned that big old’ complex in Utah into a charity hospital? Wow! That cooks like Aunt Jemima’s flapjacks, but then, I’m just a simple old boy from Austin, so what do I know?