Joseph Did You Know

Joseph Smith

Joseph did you know we’s all gonna ride the train? Sometimes when an idea pops up it takes on a life of its own. So it was with the founder of the Mormon faith on that hill long ago. Joseph Smith could not possibly have known how far his ideas would go when he concocted his story of the angel. The idea of golden tablets, Egyptian texts, magic glasses, all blend a story that is, frankly, extraordinary. This article is going to be a mixture of theology, psychology, and just a little common sense, but with a large dose of understanding. You must understand that most people are followers. A few lead. Humanity has to be this way if anything is going to get done. In religion your faith is divinely inspired, and everybody else is evil. Everyone has “the truth.”

“Pilate said to Him, ‘What is truth?” For humans, truth is whatever you perceive it to be right up until that final breath when you suddenly realize you were wrong. God is truth. God is truth because He is the creator, and if he says, “Be,” then it IS. Man can’t do that, but man has a way of saying “truths” over and over, and after a while it becomes man’s truth. . . right up ‘till that final breath.

Joseph Smith had these truths. Now, like Juan says, “I ain’t even gonna lie to you,” there weren’t any tablets in the woods. Swat them bees. Now, when you say that to Mormons they go spastic. I’ve seen them retreat, claiming the tablets were brass, may even have been copper, and the sheets were paper thin. There was no gold in Palmyra, New York except in the banks in somebody else’s name, but there was treasure in the mind of a small boy, and maybe, just maybe, there was an incredible occurrence on that hill. Inspiration is organic. God doesn’t come down and seize the hand of the writer of religious material. He filters it through the human psyche. When I wrote “Sharon” there were some people who claimed that I was inspired. Nope. Just made it up. That’s what a writer does. But if my words light a fire in someone’s mind, who’s to say that’s not a form of inspiration.

Mormons holding onto the golden tablets are like Catholics holding onto the Shroud of Turin. Hey, I was one of those. They ran that bathrobe through radio carbon and it came back bananas. I read all the theories, came up with one myself, sorry, no shroud! People constantly grasp for the tangible to prove the intangible. Jesus told us that no sign would be given. Don’t base your faith on parlor tricks. Verily, Verily, I say unto thee, if thou art perplexed thou understandith not the trick, and it’s all tricks, folks. I followed behind a Catholic “mystic” like a puppy, and she wasn’t anything more than a Tarot Card reader in short shorts. Never said I was a prophet, people.

Have you ever written a book? I have, let me tell you about it. It starts with a single page, and then, as the story develops, it evolves, and actually writes itself. A good story teller can weave a spell. Joseph Smith was such a story teller. It doesn’t matter if he made it up, stole it from some Presbyterian minister, or just found it in a jug of moonshine, the fact remains that he did not transcribe anything from any golden tablets, but he did start something that he, himself had no control over.

Does that nullify the Church of Latter Day Saints? Certainly not. Religion comes in two parts. The religion, and the culture that it generates. When a religion begins it is simple enough, but if it lasts it becomes a “theology.” Theology is refined by “theologians.”  Once these guys get involved you’re just screwed. The inspiration, and vision of the founder has long since dissipated, and it must be “revived” or explained, or, God forbid, canonized. That’s where you get holy underwear, funny little hats on Jews, and weird people kissing snakes in Arkansas. Each religion judges truths by what they perceive to be true, i.e. the Mormons can’t have a real temple because only the Jews than have one. Who said? I have seen the Temple in Salt Lake City, and it looked too holy for me!

So, how do you judge a religion? By the culture that proceeds from it, that’s how. Look at Islam, the “religion of peace.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard all about Mountain Meadows, but I also heard about the Mormons getting burned out time and time again, finally fleeing to a salty lake in the desert. They didn’t try to take anything from America, they divorced America! Then, they built a culture that frankly works, magic underwear and all! It was all a lot of fun to burn them out in New York, Illinois and Missouri, but when the attackers of the LDS Church came barreling over the Wasatch Mountains and “John Wayne” was waiting on the other side it was a whole different critter. Nothing like a good ol’ country butt stomping to make you more tolerant of other cultures, huh?  I learned a lesson from C. J. Grisham. When you strap on an Ar-15, and stand up, the fat boys all fall down and pray. There’s a truth for you!

I’ve seen all the writing on how ex-Mormons “expose” the church, but the fact of the matter is, they couldn’t make it, while millions of others did. Does that make Mormonism true? Nah, no truer than any other man-made religion. God made man, man made religion. I hear all the stuff about how bad Mormonism is, but some people need patterns in their lives. Have you ever seen a bunch of kids playing with Yugioh Cards? I once made a video showing three little boys playing them, all from different cultures, but the rules of the game transcended the ethnic differences. Religion is like that. That is that “God Hole” I talk about. Man seeks organization, conformity, and answers. All religions put forth theories that seem ridiculous to the outsider. Know them by their fruits. If Mormonism doesn’t work for you then leave. Become a Hari Krishna or something, or make up your own. Recently, on a trip from Salt Lake City to Brigham City I observed the industry all along the I-15 for sixty miles or so. Industry built by a people who came here with nothing but a Book of Mormon and one crazy old man who was tired of getting burned out every time he prayed.

There is no way Joseph Smith knew what would become of his Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I don’t know if he ever discussed the Great Salt Lake during his life, but the movement he began evolved into that industry I observed along the fifteen that afternoon. That’s no accident! That is a culture that works for most of its members. I’ve heard that LDS people aree not Christian, or follow “another Jesus.” You wanna see anti-Christ? Look at Islam. When ISIS comes they’ll come for all of us. Those temples in Utah will look a lot better then. “And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and two hundred and sixty days.” Joseph did you know we’s all gonna ride the train?


Can’t Touch This

Years ago, in another life, I was a devout Catholic. I wasn’t kidding. I was a fired up believer, complete with holy water, Rosary, the whole nine yards. I met a girl named Susan. Susan was a mystic. She had visions, wrote prophesy, and smelled like roses. I was enthralled. By and by Father Ev talked to me about her, asking if I knew her. I told him that I did. He asked if I’d been with her during her visions. Of course! Then he asked if I’d seen Mary, or heard her voice, and I had to admit that outside of a few rose smells I had not. “Good,” Father Ev replied, “because that’s schizophrenia!” Thus began my decent into heresy.

I frequently write about my views on organized religion. Now, I’ve been accused of being an Atheist, which I am not. I’m very aware that for all of our technology, science, and study, we simply cannot make a leaf. There is simply too much involved in the universe to ascribe it to chance. You can’t blow a tornado through a junk yard and come out the other side with a Mercedes. I believe that if Jesus were not a real person that we would have invented Him.

I cannot call Islam an organized religion. Let’s look at the source. An old man, in a cave, in the desert, who saw an angel. Please note Father Ev’s idea cited above. First off this man was illiterate. As his “revelations” continued they seemed to follow the course of his life, i.e. the Satanic Verses where he gave credence to three “goddesses” and later decided that they were massagers of the devil. Having been through a few little she-devils myself, I totally understand this. After Mohammed’s death there was a split in Islam almost before his body was cold. His words, and even casual conversation over dinner were collected and codified into the Qu’ran, and the Sayings of Mohammed. Of course you can’t understand any of this unless you know Arabic, which Muslims believe is the most perfect language, a view they share with the Jews in their view about Hebrew.

With the passing of over fourteen hundred years, and the little dots representing inflection, vowels, etc, the understanding of the Qu’ran is solely in the hands of whomever is interpreting at the time. Then, you have to wade through the explanations of little issues like marrying little girls, making love to goats, and of course stoning beautiful women for looking good in a swim suit. Even the Nazis liked pretty girls! There is no theology in the Qu’ran. If I borrowed as many passages from previous publications as Mohammed did from the Torah, and the Bible, even the Greeks, I’d get my shirt sued off. Now that’s a fact, people. This guy wasn’t even a good writer, and it took his followers almost four hundred years to untangle the Suras and put them into a book. I know this rubs Muslims wrong, but I’m going to be blunt. If you’re going to be a “Prophet” you have to be quicker than a drunk guitar player from Austin, ok?

When you step onto the world stage, and start making statements for people to live by you’re always going to get a guy like me who will jack you up. You can’t cut everybody’s head off. The west is positioned against the proponents of Islam, and I don’t buy into all this end of time stuff, but I do believe that the world has just about had enough of the daily videos of people being burned alive, little girls being sold into slavery, people just walking across international borders because they can, and having to bow down and kiss the sandals of all these wetbacks. My eye is on the Germans. They still have the ovens, people, and they’re still German. Don’t forget Putin. The entire west is waking up. America needs to wake up. I could make this article ten more pages, but it will only become redundant. When it all comes down it will be terrible. When it’s over the Arabs will be back selling rugs where they really belong. Between Texas oil, and Russian oil Saudi Arabia will be as broke as M. C. Hammer, but his words are profound. Can’t Touch This!

We’re All You Got

If you’ve been living under a big yellow rock then you are blissfully unaware that Europe is being taken over by Muslims streaming in from Syria. Marching in lock step, they have insinuated themselves upon the population, and effectively halted the progress of the last fifty years, not to mention providing all those lovely pictures of women with their heads bashed in, and crashing tables at sidewalk cafes.

Bowing before the gods of political correctness, the various governments have served up their respective countries on a silver platter for the Muslims to feast on. That’s the good news! The bad news is they’re on the way here! Forget America, Obama has screwed, stewed, and tattooed that. The only hope left is Texas.

As you may recall, ISIS took a swing at our little “Draw Mohammed” contest in Garland, and we had to convert to a draw dead terrorists on the parking lot, whereupon the Jihadists scurried like the bitches they were and Pamela Geller just carved two more notches on her gun. Simultaneous to this Angela Box is continually having her way with Quanum X down in Houston and at least twenty militias around the state are just praying ISIS will make another attempt to replace the Lone Star with a crescent moon. To put it in Killeen vernacular Homey don’t play that!

Texas is poised for war. We were going to secede, but shucks, we don’t gotta do that. When Obama gets through there won’t be anything to secede from! I’ve said America is lost, but we can still save Texas, and that’s about it. Americans need to be on notice that Texas is not going to go the way of Europe. Not only are the Muslims not going to impose Sharia Law, they’re not going to pour out one beer! We are the people who’ll back up into a church and shoot at you, and don’t throw numbers at us because we already proved at the Alamo that we can’t count to five thousand.

So, make fun of our drawl, our hats, boots, pickup trucks, guns, and our crippled up Governor. Call us racist, wave Rainbow flags at us and let California talk show hosts poke fun at our God. When the fertilizer hits the fan, and you all run for cover, we’re all you got!

Yours truly,
Bill the Butcher

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Don’t Mess With Texas

Had a most interesting dialog this weekend with some people. I had fallen into a group on Facebook that presented themselves as “global citizens.” Being a Texan, and not so worldly, I fell into the trap of accepting their wisdom via the fact that they were from such exotic places such as India, England and any place other than Texas. Hey, I’m human, and I drink too much at times.

So, let’s examine the credibility of such personages as opposed to a simple old boy from Austin, shall we? First, and foremost, in order to discredit a fool, such as myself, the charge of racist must be employed. Get your notes out there will be a quiz later. Charges of racisms are the replacement of logic, and sound argument with mental masturbation. Write that down. When someone, such as myself constructs a logic that is supported by evidence that cannot be refuted, the more “worldly” adversary retreats to the charge of racism, and their followers and associates begin to flog themselves feverishly in total acceptance of this “universal” truth.

After I left the group the site still remained on my iPad. During the following evening I looked at the membership, something I hadn’t done previous to this. I think there were about three or four white boys in the crowd, myself being one, and all the other names were, well, shall we say, not Irish. Racist enough for you? And the charge of racism is not the only brick in the wall. I seriously doubt that any of these over five hundred esteemed scholars had ever been to Texas, but they knew all about it! Texans are a bunch of redneck cowboys, riding horses and shooting their way out of bars, dragging every black person they can behind a pickup truck as the ghost of Judge Roy Bean laughs with fiendish glee from the infernal regions. Yeah, that sounds about right. Seems they completely overlooked the University of Texas, the Baylor Medical Center and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Now, I wish to admit that I made a few statements which proceeded from a wine glass more than my intellect, and I will confess that these statements were inflammatory. Reference Miss Pamela Geller. Yeah, I’m gonna go there. For those of you who have been living under a big yellow rock, Miss Geller set up an art contest to draw, you guessed it, MOHAMMED! Now this drew the ire of certain, shall we say, “Adherents” to the faith, whereupon two of these noble men took it upon themselves to drive all the way to Texas with machine guns, where Miss Geller had apparently arranged a welcoming party who promptly blew their brains out. Right after that a couple of Mosques got incinerated in Houston, and I made the mistake of admitting openly that there is at least a possibility that we Texans approved of these actions. Well, get your prayer rugs out because we DO! I stand by my statement.

The debate began when a friend, Peter Ehlers, put up an article about some “cleric” over in Stupidstan who wanted the police to enforce some Islamic law forcing women to wear this silly bag over their heads. Now we have a cultural thing here. To a Muslim putting a bag over a woman’s head may be a holy thing, and I’m not saying it doesn’t have its place, but when a Texan puts a bag over a woman’s head it has a whole different connotation. As a matter of fact I’ve known some “two baggers” in my time, but the placement of such things has little to do with religion. You don’t bag up a pretty girl, my neck isn’t that red!

The entire debate centered on my statement, completely ignoring the original premise, opting instead upon discussing the fact that I wasn’t in sack cloth, pouring ashes over my head, grieving for those poor dead homies up in Garland! You’d have thought someone had thrown a Big Mac into a pool filled with piranhas! And there’s no reasoning with these people. Here we have a couple of women who most likely have never been farther than the local fish market railing against me, and after listening to this nonsense I began to understand why Muslims wish to put bags over their heads. A little Duct tape might be appropriate, too. Anyway, I left the group as the occupants massaged themselves having rid their area of yet one more “Infidel.”

Ok, these people are a flock of fools! They base their entire world view on a man who claimed he rode a winged horse to heaven. You can’t make this stuff up. You have women being degraded in such a manner that would get you SHOT in Texas, and their women LIKE it! If I ever tried to put a bag over Frenchi’s head she would shoot me mercifully behind my left ear.

In conclusion I’d like to admit that I was wrong. I mistook these people as having a frontal lobe. Hey, it happens. I should have fallen back on time honored terminology from men much wiser than myself. Something so profound that it cannot be discounted. Words inscribed upon signs, walls and the hearts of my people far and wide. Something where the language is so direct that even goats can comprehend it. Something those two guys in Garland fully understood right before getting their seventy-two virgins. DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS!
Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

Ain’t No Fun When The Rabbit’s Got The Gun

Yesterday I did an article remembering the day President Kennedy died. Someone asked me why, after fifty plus years, that event was still important? Well, in this installment I’m going to tell you why, and I’m going to expose the conspiracy at work that day.

Why is the death of a man so important when most people alive today hadn’t even been born the day those shots rang out in Dealy Plaza? Because they got away with it! That’s why! A clandestine group of men decided to take matters into their own hands, and fueled by selfish greed, overruled the will of the people, took the reins of power and changed history for the last fifty years. THAT’S why! And the abomination they put into place, the unholy alliance is still there!

In spite of his personal wealth, and social status, John Kennedy was the nemesis of the power brokers. He had slapped everyone from George Wallace to the so-called heads of the five families in New York, and a couple in New Orleans, and he wasn’t done yet. One week before his death he signed an executive order dismantling the Federal Reserve. He had sent “advisors” to Vietnam, but he saw the South Vietnamese government for the pimp it really was, and as an old Navy man he was not going to take them to raise.

His vice president, Lyndon Johnson, was a lying, conniving old gangster, about to be indicted. Johnson was on the 1960 ticket as a political concession, and the next time, Kennedy was going to have none of that. To Kennedy, Johnson represented all that was repulsive about the Federal government. I’d like to point out to you that the barrel of snakes he detested is still there. It just went from rattlesnakes to water mosscasins, that’s all.

The military industrial complex needed a war. They hadn’t had a good one for about ten years. Now, they didn’t need a real war, with fronts, and victory, and all that. They needed an “almost” war against a foe they could easily defeat, but wouldn’t because the longer the guns roared the more fake money the Federal Reserve could print, and the more caviar could be eaten on Wall Street. Do the math. The army that had taken down Hitler fifteen years before couldn’t route a bunch of skinny kids in pajamas? Give me a break! And the only man who stood between this New “Order” and all that money was John F. Kennedy!

Now, this bunch of carpetbaggers didn’t know exactly what Johnson would do if he were in the White House, but they knew it would be very different from a Kennedy White House. Point of fact, when he DID get there he quickly struck down that executive order shutting down the Federal Reserve, and turned “advisors” into “adversaries” to the Viet Cong, and the show was ON! And it STAYED on until the war became SO transparent the NWO had to find act II to continue the purge of the American economy. Ask yourself; what is the difference between the IRS taking a part of your income, and Don Fanuchi shaking down a grocer on Mulberry Street? Forget about Democrats and Republicans, these jackasses are all on the same team. There ARE two political parties in the United States; them and US. They rule, and we drool!

And all they had to do to build this Tower of Babel was shoot ONE man before lunch on November 22, 1963. Forget all the complicated conspiracy theories you’ve ever heard, you’ll never get to the bottom of it, just know that there WAS a conspiracy, and it worked. People are always looking for a smoking gun and in Dealy Plaza that day there WAS a smoking gun, a REAL one. I am going to show you that gun, and it’s not complicated, but you gotta put your Texan hat on to see it. Let’s talk about shooting people, shall we?

Ever hear of the Zapruder Film? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all that stuff about how it’s been altered, forget about that, just pay attention to the time span between the car coming out from behind the sign, and the final shot. I’m fixing to fire that magic bullet right up the Warren Commission’s butt. Now, we’ve all seen the lines drawn tracing that bullet, as it travels hither and yon, pauses, has lunch, and ends up lying quietly on John Connelly’s left thigh, none the worse for wear. The way the “experts” account for all them there holes is something they called “delay reaction.” Ok, to the film. Look it up on YouTube, and run it in real time. Ignore whatever narration you hear, they’re all crazy, just watch the film and listen to me.

As the presidential limousine comes out from behind the sign please note that President Kennedy’s hands are already at his throat. This implies that a bullet has struck him at some point BEHIND the sign. It doesn’t matter if it came from the Texas School Book Depository, the Grassy Knoll, or Sears and Roebuck, man just got shot! Matter of fact he’s losing consciousness demonstrated by his SLOW sinking down, and to his left, as his wife slowly turns and looks into his face to see what’s wrong. Count the seconds. Delayed reaction.

According to the Warren Commission, while this is all going on, Connelly is riding along with his guts blown out, smiling and holding his Stetson like he has good sense. Did y’all see Freddie Gray bite the dust? He dropped like a rock right THEN! That’s what you do when you’re shot in the back. About halfway between the limo coming into view, and the head shot Connelly suddenly deflates like a balloon. You can SEE the impact of the bullet right THERE! The events in the back seat, and the jump seat are entirely separate. One man is grabbing his throat, falling, and AFTER that the other man grimaces and goes down.

THAT proves at least two shooters. You don’t have to have a PHD, or a book deal, or a TV show, all you have to have is a set of eyes! John F. Kennedy’s death was the product of a confederation of at least two people, and brothers and sisters, I’ll assure you there were many more. So, you ask, what difference does all that make now? These men are all most likely dead of old age. Yes they are, but their legacy lives on. You just saw it in WACO! The mind set of the manipulators that leads them to believe they can get away with anything they want because the American public is too STUPID or too LAZY to do anything about it, and THAT’S why Kennedy’s assassination is so important.

What can we do about all this? Friends, it’s coming down to a fork in the road. If we continue along the path plotted for us in 1963 America is truly lost. If we take the right fork we will have revolution. The straw boss don’t like us to throw our cotton sacks down. On either path people are going to die. The tree of liberty is fertilized with the blood of patriots. Hey, they don’t mind killing us! They have proved that time and time again. It’s so much fun to ridicule Alex Jones, and Doc Greene, and then mow down old men having a political meeting on a Sunday afternoon, but brothers and sisters . . . ain’t no fun when the rabbit’s got the gun!

#waco #kennedy

Mexicans Shoot Back

When you have a major catastrophic event it takes days, sometimes years to sort out the facts. So it will be with Waco. Sherlock Holmes said that when you take away the impossible, that which remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Just like an onion. Let’s start peeling, shall we?

While there were rumored to have been up to five clubs at Twin Peaks that day, there were two clubs that were significant. Oh, and by the way, I refer to the bikers as “clubs,” not “gangs!” You see, that’s how people, or groups become demonized. You throw in a word here and there, and those words create what we call, “mental images,” unless, of course you’re black, and you’re burning down places like Ferguson, or Baltimore, then there are laws protecting you because if Obama had any sons, they’d look like them, but I digress.

Now where was I? Oh yes, two clubs. We have the Bandidos, and a cuddly little band of merry men known as the Cossacks. The Bandidos have been around since Jesus was a corporal. The Cossacks were relative new comers to the Texas scene. Now these guys have rules. They abide by these rules. Kinda like a constitution, and they follow it which puts them head and shoulders above Obama right there. They have territories, and interests attached to those territories. Mostly, it boils down to this is THEIR state. They don’t like people rolling in from places like California, and acting like they belong here, and unlike some folks, they’ll stand up and defend that. There are rules of etiquette. You see, there’s this thing called a “rocker” that sits below the club emblem on the jacket. That “rocker” signifies the club’s place or origin. The rule is very plain. If you’re from California, don’t put Texas on that Jacket! You think this is silly? Consider this; most Bikers are vets. Patches, medals, and ribbons MEAN things. Men fought and died for those things, and they aren’t to be taken lightly. This is opposed to letting a bunch of Muslims have prayer day on the state Capitol while we all sit there and wring our pearly white hands, wishing they’d just go away.

Honor, loyalty, and respect are important to these men. So, here come the Cossacks rolling into Texas, putting a Texas rocker on their jackets, and flipping the bird at the Bandidos. They really did that, folks. I’ve seen the pictures. Now they didn’t all immediately meet down on Main Street and start exchanging blows. Realizing the volatile nature of the situation they had meetings at places like Twin Peaks to try to find a middle ground. This is where it gets crazy. Let’s start peeling that onion.

Let’s get all the players in place. You have at least two rival clubs, and the cops, and brothers and sisters we HAD some cops there, serving and protecting. Regular cops, state cops, SWAT cops, and most likely a few Feds, who can’t seem to find any problems down on the border where the REAL “gangs” are, but they sure found Waco. Now, I’m gonna tell you from the get go, I don’t like Waco, and I don’t like Feds! I’ve been all over Texas and I can count the times I stopped in Waco on one hand. I think the FBI, CIA, and NSA are a complete waste of money we could just buy beer with, and do more good, but that’s just me. (Now watch the NSA assign a team to study that last statement trying to figure out what I really meant. See what I mean?)

So, hail, hail, the gang’s all here. Twin Peaks full of Bikers, and cops behind every bush, and on every roof. Oh yeah, they had snipers out that day serving, and protecting us. Pour a little beer on the fire and voila! You get a fist fight. Most amazing thing I ever saw, bikers drinking beer, and fighting in a bar. Never saw THAT coming. Well, as luck would have it, they spilled out into the parking lot. Now, consider this. All these seasoned Bikers, KNOWING the cops are there, suddenly decide to start shooting. If you believe that, well, have I got a bridge for you. Actually, I do! There’s this old bridge right there in Waco that looks like a miniature version of the Golden Gate. Ok, peel that onion. How many Bikers were shot, and how many COPS were shot? Do the math, connect the dots.

Before it was all over there were lots of bodies, and I think 172 arrests, all for “organized crime” and not ONE cell phone video to be had. DUDE! Even ISIS has cell phones. Of course, there was some gum shoe saying it was the most violent crime scene he’d seen in all his thirty-four years “serving and protecting” us. Guess he had the day off when Janet Reno decided to torch that church, huh? They sealed off the entire area so they could sanitize it, and the picture we DO have is all these mad dog bikers sitting docile on a bench, arrested. Now THAT’S a BLOOMING onion.

Of course the spin got to going, with the “authorities” claiming the bikers were putting a hit on all law enforcement . . . NO cops were shot that day. Don’t you think if the bikers were so vicious toward cops at least ONE of them would have thrown a beer mug, or SOMETHING? We’ve all seen this before. David Koresh led a band of crazy fanatics bent on overthrowing the government, and marrying little girls. Not ONE conviction in federal court. The bikers came out of Twin Peaks, guns a blazing . . . Not ONE cop got hurt, nor people in ANY of the surrounding shops. Swat them bees.

What gets me is if the government can amass such a force against AMERICANS what’s the problem with the border? Just string them snipers along that fence and little girls will be able to play jacks in the Texas sand. Oh, my bad . . . Mexicans shoot BACK!


It’s been a rowdy week down at the ranch. Ok, let’s jump right into it. First off. Mr. ISIS, we’re sure ’nuff sorry we capped two of your Jihad warriors just because they showed up to kill a bunch of cartoonists who were drawing pictures of that Mexican you call a prophet. Y’all get downright irritated when you show up and don’t get to kill a bunch of folks. Now, I understand your religion and all, what with not liking naked girls, or ham and eggs, or any pictures of anyTHING. You want to straighten a bunch of infidels out, might I suggest a Nuevo Laredo whorehouse? You’ll find a lot of sin down there. Oh, just ignore them fellers with them dots tattooed over their eyebrows. Don’t pay them no mind. Just rush in there, guns a blazing, and see how that works out for you.

I actually ended up in one God awful debate somewhere over in India with the cutest little Jap I ever saw. And y’all know me, I was too busy looking at her profile picture for the first ten minutes, I wasn’t paying no mind to a word she said, but then she called me a “misogynist!” Now, being a Texan, I pronounced that “massaginist.” With the root word apparently “massage,” and her being Asian, I took that to mean she love me long time. Well, our relationship fell quickly apart right after that. I think basically she wanted to put me in a cage somewhere and set fire to me, screaming, “Aloha Salad Bar,” or words to that effect. God she was beautiful when she was mad.

From there we progressed to Jade Helm 15. Now, I’m just as crazy as the next Texan so I bought right into this. I don’t like AMERICANS coming down here, and when I found out it was gonna be UN troops? Americans are bad enough, but FOREIGNERS? Hide the women folk. My grandmother told me that all them people over there are BORN with an STD. They get it from their mamas. The men pee right in the street and their women don’t wash properly “down there.” I was all pent up, that was until I found out the whole story came out of Alex Jones. Now, I’m not saying Alex was wrong, I’m just saying. If you wanna kill a good conspiracy just let it come out of Prison Planet and right away the public thinks we’re all wearing tin foil Stetsons!

Of course the cops are shooting EVERYBODY! I almost wish I could have met them two boys up in Garland before they got out of that car. I would have told them, “DUDES! They shoot US for using a cell phone. What did you expect?” To be honest, Texas cops don’t shoot near as many as cops in states where the second amendment isn’t in place. Wonder if there’s a correlation?

Open Carry is moving through the legislative process. Hey, certain “people” open carry their UNDERWEAR! Why can’t we just carry a pistol. A small cute one. The libs say open carry “intimidates” people. Uh, why do COPS do it? They carry a gun, an electric chair, a knife and a STICK! You can’t carry a stick in Texas, did you know that? I was once arrested for possession of a stick. And don’t let a kid draw a picture of a gun in school. I wonder what the ISIS boys in Garland would have done if the artists were just been drawing pictures of guns.

Now this is satire. I feel I need to give that disclosure. Why do I resort to satire at times. Because when I use a lot of four syllable words and try to speak as an adult . . . Liberals don’t listen!

Pamela Geller Pin Ups

Well, now that we’re all past the proper mourning period for the parking lot two let’s look over the situation. I’m still getting hate mail about Pamela Geller, especially from Indonesia. I was checking out my Google stats yesterday, and discovered that I’m big there, but China? China LOVES me. And I kinda like China, too. I’ve always been partial to Asian Chicks. I didn’t really like Korean girls too much because I grew up in Killeen, and I’ve smelled their breath, but Gangnam Style changed all that for me. Psy crawling between that dancer’s legs singing something about “Georgia” just made it for me. I don’t like Russian girls because they all seem to be built like Michelle Obama, not that the First Lady is ugly, or anything like that, some guys dig that Roller Derby look, I just prefer softer edges. How’d we get off on this? Oh yeah, first thing in the morning, and if you younger girls out there don’t understand that, go ask your mama and she’ll tell you all about it.

Where was I? Oh yeah, dead Muzzies, and the coming Apocalypse. While we were promised seventy ISIS soldiers streaming into Texas in holy jihad looking to avenge their brothers (I personally thought it would be seventy-two, but I digress) apparently they are raising gas money because the only Islamer I’ve seen is Mohammed down at the Valero who sells me cigarettes, and he doesn’t seem all that messed about Garland. I’m sure there will be something SOMEWHERE, but they’d better hurry up because summer is fast approaching, and we won’t have time for them once the brisket is smoking.

Meanwhile, Sweet Pamela is getting more and more famous. Did you notice how the liberal media got MAD when none of us got killed, and the terrorists did NOT appear on People Magazine looking like Justin Bieber? Liberals do that you know. They had Trayvon Martin looking like Michael Jackson. They TRIED to Photoshop Michael Brown, but there ain’t that much PhotoShop in the world, and all they could manage was to lighten him up a bit. Meanwhile, Pamela Geller gets younger and younger, and that ticks off the Muzzies ’cause they don’t like pretty girls.

If Pamela never swats a fly for the rest of her life she delivered the licking that keeps on sticking to Allah and the boys. And don’t tell me they’re not hot for her. I’ll guarantee you there’s some sheik over there somewhere who’d give five hundred camels and a pack of Pall Malls to have Pamela sitting at his feet with a choker collar on. Let me think about that. Sorry, Pamala, too early in the morning. With all the rhetoric, hind sight, politics, and silence from the White House, there’s not enough Spic and Span in Texas to scrub those two chalk silhouettes off that pavement up there in Garland. ISIS will NEVER live that down. And the likes of that idiot in London on Sean Hannity, spouting off that stuff about Sharia law in that accent they all seem to have . . . .looook at the asphalt. Hey, been well past three days and they didn’t come back to life. Guess that was the last day, huh? Does anyone know where I can get a pin up poster of Pamela Geller?

#pamelageller #garland

More Nigga than SAND Nigga!

Our militias are a good start, but we have work to do. Now bear in mind I know squat about military, but I think it has something to do with guns and guys. If you have more guns and guys than the other guys, you win. Well, right now the other side has more guns and guys than us. Do the math. There are militias popping up all over Texas, but they are about as organized as a biker bar. I take that back, bikers are usually in an organized gang and therein lies the problem.

Consider this; if the Crips and the Bloods were to suddenly join the Texas militia, do you really think the Feds would have showed their butts down in Bryan? I mean, it’s all very cool to crash into the VFW and harass a bunch of old men, steal all their stuff, and not even produce a viable search warrant, but what if there had been twenty or thirty New Black Panthers there for security, all lined up with AR-15s and ATTITUDE? They might have rethought that raid . . . You think?

We, in Texas have GOT to pull our heads out of Mr. Butt, and see this for what it really is. Except for the Muslims this is THEIR fight, too. You think we white folk are getting screwed over by the plutocracy? Minorities have been taking a licking for years! That’s why they’re O R G A N I Z E D! Now this is a two fold attack plan. We have to get politically organized. The Tea Party gets people elected. I hate to say this, but the American ideal still works. It’s just that Obama, and the others who feed at his trough have become so used to ignoring that ideal that has put us where we are today. That, and it behooves them to keep this race war cranked up. So long as we are squabbling about Michael Brown we never notice the puppet masters pulling all the strings. Take for instance Eric Holder flying in to Ferguson. He didn’t give a flip about Michael Brown. If Michael Brown had walked down the center of the road in Holder’s neighborhood the SECRET SERVICE would have capped him, and if you don’t believe that, have I got a bridge for YOU! And Hillary? When the four were killed at our embassy she didn’t even remove her sleep mask off to take the call. THERE’S your problem, people. Heck . . . Put those thirty New Black Panthers in that embassy, and we’d have been short a LOT of virgins THAT day!

Two fold solution. Political power, and the men to back it up. Look at the riots. Those people were fighting with rocks, people, and it doesn’t matter if they were right, or wrong, the police didn’t fire one shot, and it wasn’t because they’d all found Sweet Jesus, it was because they knew there was a butt stomping waiting over there. History people, HISTORY! It worked in the French revolution, it worked in Russia in 1917 and it’ll work NOW! But, we have to get on board. Fight the real enemy, not each other. In America we can still use the polls. Sure, they’re rigged. Out RIG them! Flood the candidates with so many of OUR people that they “Royalty” can’t beat them all, and then have the muscle to back UP the 1st, 2nd, and 4th amendments.

It’s not going to be easy. Those in power have a good game going, but there are more of US than there are of THEM. We need to take this country back. We can go back to hating each other later. You Crips and Bloods out there . . . You think you hate the Crackers? Google ISIS! Get THAT in the ol’ Hood! Let Sharia Law take hold. When you see your grandmother get shot in the head for walking to the store alone . . . You’ll know what to do. We may have our differences, but you’re still more “nigga” than SAND “Nigga!” Stand up with us and let’s take this country BACK? Remember, Crispus Attucks was the first man killed at the Boston Massacre!

#ISIS #militias