We Don’t Need No Stinking Badges!


We don’t need no stinking badges! Funny line from a movie that got unfunny when guns began to flow across the southern border like someone was running a gun show. In September of 2009 John Dodson with the ATF stood back in snake amazement when he traced guns being given to Mexican cartels, and he subsequently became a whistle blower. This article in the New York Post detailed this so I’m not going to bore you with the taco count, just read it for yourself.

We all know the story. I even made a joke out of it when I was out in California citing that the first thing you learn in grade school if you’re a Texan is not to give guns to the Mexicans. The paradox is that Mexico has mucho gun control, unless you’re in the cartel, and then you get a pass. Mexico is a perfect example of what happens when you “regulate” guns. Ever hear the statement, “If guns are outlawed then only outlaws will have guns.” Mexico has a lot of outlaws, world class outlaws.

I find it amazing that Trump talks about securing the border, Hillary skirts the issue. Trump supports the second amendment; Hillary is very clear on her stance on gun control. Heck, her own daughter just got up, and gave a snot slinging speech on that very subject. (She has a kid? Nobody told me that.) Hillary was directly involved at a high level with the government that opened this gun running operation. Do you think she was unaware? Well, I mean, she was unaware of an attack on an embassy, and loaded up state secrets at a local McDonald’s WiFi, but c’mon! Well, Teddy Bear ran a theory by me today, and I’m going to give you the basics. Of course, I can’t tell you details because that would be, well, dangerous. I mean we know the government would never take off after someone for busting it out, right?

Hillary is all tangled up with this stuff, and when confronted, she gives that little chuckle of hers, says something clever, and moves on. The agenda is to disarm the American people. It’s as simple as that. Imagine, if you will, how many people would be flocking over that border if they were reasonably sure those ranchers down there didn’t have any guns? How much restraint do you think the cartels would show if they knew that there would be no return fire? If you believe gun control will make the border safer then I have a bridge in Laredo for you, and, as usual, it’s on sale! Shucks, I’ll just run a two for one sale.  I’ll throw in one out in El Paso for free!

I’m not going to grind out all those tired old statistics about how many people got shot, or saved someone’s life because they shot someone, what I’m drilling down on is that Hillary and company want to make us all serfs in the Clinton Dynasty, and if they get their way we’ll all “die nasty.” She portrays herself as being “of the people,” but she hasn’t been anywhere near the people since she dated Yoko Ono! How’d she spit that hook, I wonder? Speaking of dynasties, remember when I made that joke about Chelsea following her mother’s eight years in office? Well, when she got up and gave that little rant about guns I almost dropped my beer. I’m beginning to feel like a prophet.

What you have below the Mexican border is an army, ok? This army has already sent advance units into the bread basket of the US. Hillary is very aware of this, and says, or does nothing about it. Thomas More said if someone were to attack a man with a knife, and you stand there doing nothing, that indicates approval. Hillary approves of this armed invasion of the United States. Hey, jus’ sayin’. The invaders feel empowered, knowing that the Democratic front runner is looking the other way, and they don’t need no stinking badges, or citizenship, or anything. They’ve been handed a silver platter with the US served up medium rare. Mexican Silver! Adios!


The Enemy Within


The enemy within has been inside our borders for quite some time. Mexico, by its very nature, is always embroiled in revolution, lawlessness, and intrigue. If you were a boy, growing up in Texas, you had to take that obligatory trip to “Boy’s Town” when you were in high school, and the very reason you did that was because of that lawlessness that enabled you to buy just about anything you wanted. Now, I’m going to get racial here for a bit. When I say, “Mexican,” I mean Mexican! People of Latin decent who were born and raised here are American just like people from Germany, England, or Spain. Their ancestors came to these shores because the old country simply didn’t work, and they were looking for something better. These people are no more “Mexican” than Queen Elizabeth. Right down to the food they eat. For the uninformed, that stuff you get at Taco Bell is not “Mexican” food, that’s “Tex-Mex,” a blend of Texas cuisine with certain spices thrown in for flavor. The fierce nationalism now flowing up from the border is as alien to these Americans as an invasion from China. While they honor traditions of family they cling to America just as the Italians on Mulberry Street in New York had festivals, but were fully aware that they had made that long boat ride for a reason!

It is not a bad thing to honor your culture, but when that culture tries to replace the very fabric of society it becomes subversion, and that, my friends is the enemy within! Before I go on, I’d like to address the people of color out there on a fact. You may think that this is a “white man’s” problem, but in the view of these interlopers you are just the “black white man.” We may have come here in different boats, but we’re in the same boat now! These people have been coming up here for years. They pick the vegetables, mow the grass, and in our racism we think they are no threat. They lower wages along the border, but that’s of no consequence to the CEO of HEB as he reaps the benefits of cheap labor. That’s bad enough, but it really doesn’t touch mid-America that much, and the ante has been upped. These minions want to extend the border of Mexico through Texas to California and beyond. And there is no room in “New” Mexico for us!

It is interesting to note that the cartels don’t do dope, they sell dope to Americans, line their pockets and laugh all the way to the bank. Yeah, there’s a drug war, and El Chapo is winning it. And looking down our elite noses, still covered with cocaine at people like him will be our demise.  You look at all the great criminal enterprises down through the years and are amazed at people like Al Capone, or Dillinger, just look at El Chapo. This guy constructed a subway under a federal prison, with air conditioning, waved “bye bye” to the cameras and rode to freedom, and if you think the local people didn’t help then I’ve got a bridge for you, and it’s on sale. This is not Carlos Mencia cracking jokes about his unemployed cousin mowing his lawn, this is a man who is organized, focused and rich! This is the enemy within.

A wall won’t fix this. New immigration laws won’t fix this. Resolve will fix this. You need to listen to people like George Rodriguez. He, and other Americans of Latin decent know this issue, and will school you. So stop grouping these Americans with our real enemies hidden in plain sight. They are not funny little brown people with accents, they are a force to be reckoned with. They are the enemy within.


Estúpido! Ok, that’s our word of the day. When Joaquín (El Chapo) Guzmán broke out of a Mexican federal prisión I laughed my testículos off! This guy had the resources to construct a subway under Altiplano Prison, complete with a tram, waved adiós to the cameras in his cell, and rode to freedom. Folks, you can’t make this stuff up. All that activity, not to mention dirt removal, and nobody noticed? This cat should be president of Mexico! Not to mention he’s one of the riches men in the world, undoubtedly the richest in Mexico, sells more drugs than Johnson and Johnson, causes traffic jams at the border, threatens ISIS, Trump, and mom’s Apple pie, Tweets daily, and most likely has a Facebook page. Pancho Villa must be spinning in his grave. Oh, the tunnel had ventilation. . . AIR CONDITIONING! It extended more than a mile. We need this man to renovate the rail system in Austin.
So how did he get caught? Save your fork, it gets better. Joaquín had a dream. He wanted his life story to be told. I mean, with holding up at least three quarters of the Mexican economy, I think he should, don’t you. He had this idea of a huge epic about his life, and Sean Penn chimed in to make it happen with the happy support of Rolling Stone Magazine. El Chapo, Sean Penn, and Rolling Stone. Now, folks, if that’s not the three stooges, I’m not a white boy from Austin! That’s the meat, not let’s mix in some cumin and chili powder. It seems Chapo wanted a certain Mexican starlet to play in his flick. Soooo, he sets out to arrange a meeting, oblivious to the Mexican authorities who were all over him.
His location was not a secret, people, don’t fool yourself. Go back to paragraph one. I grew up in Texas. I’ve TAKEN the obligatory trip to “Boy’s Town” in Nuevo Laredo, and apparently, so did Joaquín. Star struck, he was caught sleeping in bed with his drop dead gorgeous wife, when the Mexican Marines crashed the set. Now, surely the biggest dope dealer on the planet wouldn’t get caught chasing movie stars, right?
So El Chapo is right back in the same jail he strolled out of. Of course Interpol has served him with “formal” extradition, opposed to the more kínder, friendly type, I suppose, announced by the Mexican Attorney General. They have one of those? The Mexican authorities say it’s unclear how he escaped, but they “suspect” prison guards may have been involved. You think? This guy is estimated to make three billion dollars a year, and he’s in a town dealing in Pesos. Do the math! They don’t know how he got out. I submit it may have had something to do with that mile long super transit installed under the prison.
It seems too simplistic to think that someone who makes that kind of money could make such a stupid blunder, but I have seen pictures of Hitler staring across the English Channel at the White Cliffs of Dover, so I don’t know. Now, as my Puerto Rican friend, Jay, would say, I ain’t even gonna lie to you, I admire this guy. If I was the President of Mexico I’d give El Chapo a full pardon and put him in charge of the Mexican economy. Let’s see, he gives people products that they don’t need, makes tons of money, has outlets all over the world, millions of customers, pays his employees in pesos, has a virtul monopoly. I give you El Walmarto!

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin


See You In The Trenches

Governor Abbott gave a nice little tip of the hat to Texans yesterday, I even had to wipe a tear from my eye, when he declared no Syrian refugees would be allowed in Texas. For all of you who are still buying into this, let me tell you, this is self-abuse, and if you keep doing it long enough you’ll go blind. Under the Refugee Act of 1980 the President has the explicit authorization to accept foreign refugees into the United States. We find ourselves right back at square one with the state trying to govern itself except with Uncle Simon doesn’t “say.” Also how do you track Mohammed, who lands in New York, contacts a temp agency, gets a job in Austin, and starts work at a Quickie Mart on Monday?
If you look at any Interstate Hiway, on any given day, you are going to see semi-trucks running all over the place. Some are labeled, going to Walmart, HEB, or delivering furniture, but there are some that are not so clear, and the never stop at the Flying J truck stop. Wanna know why? Because they’re transporting soldiers for ISIS all over the land of the free, home of the duped, that’s why! Got a little truck stop over in Temple, Texas. Always seems empty, once in a blue, blue moon you’ll see a truck there, but not often. Kinda dingy little place. The kind of place where you wouldn’t want to eat one of their burritos anyway. Well, that’s where Mohammed and the boys drop by for a little chicken fried goat, while on their way to Houston to practice the Jihad that is surely coming to a neighborhood near YOU!
The aspect of the transport of up to 20,000 Islamabastards to Texas within eight hours is a very real possibility. For the most part, they’re already here. The business model that supports them is exempt from our banking laws, and huge, complex systems help grease immigration so they aren’t held up in line while picking up their suicide belts. They just sit in place, cleaning their AK-47s, eating goat, and waiting for the local Imam to give them their marching orders. Obama tells us ISIS is “contained.” Yeah, in condos all over the country. I wouldn’t follow that man into a whorehouse!
What stands between these guys and Suzie Sweetcheeks shopping at the Mall? Why, the Federal Government, right? Wrong! That’s who’s gassing up the trucks, fool! Oh, the Department of Homeland Security isn’t cleaning their windshield, but they make it so easy for the new guests to move around that they should start a tourist company. No, it’s the Militias that stand guard. You know, those guys all dressed up in Camo, ordering coffee with a rifle slung over their shoulder while the Mothers Against Everything But Unprotected Sex With A Donkey calls the cops.
Texas is littered with Militia. They practice, meet, talk on Facebook, hold rallies, and are serious about Texas, and the security of the state. Only problem is the Feds do everything in their power to thwart these groups every way they can. KC Massey was down in the Valley with so many Mexicans rushing by you’d have thought he was at the Alamo and got arrested for having a gun, even though, under Texas law he’d complied, was in good graces, and was protecting the border at his own expense at Camp Lone Star. Here come the Feds, arrested him, and the Mexicans raised a mighty shout. Well, heads up, Paco! We all have a new enemy, and remember, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Syrians sawing your heads off will make you miss ol’ KC!
There are several problems with the Militias. First of all, even though they are organized within their own units, they are not connected with other units in any kind of workable fashion. A militia in Houston knows little about one up in Salado. There is no supreme commander. Everyone is marching to the beat of a different drummer. This is pretty much what lost the Civil War, folks. Robert E. Lee was the General, but a lot of his orders were, shall we say, “reviewed,” before implementation. To the point that during Gettysburg, it became entirely possible to do an end run, and actually roll Lincoln out of bed, but nobody could quite agree because they were too busy getting slaughtered following Pickett up some hill with General Longstreet screaming, “STOP, STOP, STOP,” the whole time. The Texas Militia has to become The Texas Militia. When the Jihadists attack, and they surely will, you can bet they will be organized. Look at Paris. We have to have a chain of command that can mount a defense when all hell breaks loose. All the various militias need to send a delegation to a meeting and set this up. One guy has to be the “buck stopper.”
Next, we need to become a tad more low key. ISIS can Google us! They use snippers. They already know where all of our units are, how many, how trained, and where we buy that coffee each morning. We don’t know squat about them except they are usually brown, and don’t eat no ham. That’s IT! So this exposes a twofold issue. We need to “go to ground,” and we, at the same time, need to infiltrate them! We don’t need to be sitting outside one of their training camps, bitching, we need to have a guy in there. When Haji trots over to the football game with his suicide belt we need to beat him to the venue, and take care of business.
Then there is training. The Militias are good at training, but psychological training is important too. These are real killers. They want to burn down everything we have. They have this image of stealth and fanaticism designed to strike fear into the hearts of the “Infidels.” They are not supermen. They are the enemy. They are all the enemy. Now, I know there are those who cringe at taking a wide brush and painting all Muslims red, but during WWII, Americans of German decent did not parade in the street giving Nazi salutes. Remember those famous FEMA camps? You remember, don’t you? Those places that the government was gonna put us with little tattoos on our right hand. Well, put moderate Muslims there until we sort this mess out. We have to get the mindset that this is not going away, and our government is clueless. America is lost, but we can still save Texas, and hopefully, when it’s all done, we can help our American friends and neighbors rebuild.
It is coming, people. ISIS is telling us it’s coming. They’re even telling us when, and where. We need to pull our heads out of Mr. Butt, wash our hair, and lock and load. When it goes down, you will see a major shift in loyalties. You may see National Guard team up with the Militia. You may see the Cartels fighting right along beside you, because Arabs are not AMERICANS in any shape, form, or fashion. The Canadians, Americans and Latinos have a history. We agree on very little and we fight like wet cats, but by God we can’t just stand there and let some camel jockey come and take it all away. We will win. We .will lose some good people, but we will forge a new nation that exemplifies the virtues expounded by the founding fathers of the Dis-United States, and when it’s all over, Suzie Sweetcheeks can walk to the Mall, and get her nails done. God Bless you all. See you in the trenches.

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin


Mexicans Shoot Back

When you have a major catastrophic event it takes days, sometimes years to sort out the facts. So it will be with Waco. Sherlock Holmes said that when you take away the impossible, that which remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Just like an onion. Let’s start peeling, shall we?

While there were rumored to have been up to five clubs at Twin Peaks that day, there were two clubs that were significant. Oh, and by the way, I refer to the bikers as “clubs,” not “gangs!” You see, that’s how people, or groups become demonized. You throw in a word here and there, and those words create what we call, “mental images,” unless, of course you’re black, and you’re burning down places like Ferguson, or Baltimore, then there are laws protecting you because if Obama had any sons, they’d look like them, but I digress.

Now where was I? Oh yes, two clubs. We have the Bandidos, and a cuddly little band of merry men known as the Cossacks. The Bandidos have been around since Jesus was a corporal. The Cossacks were relative new comers to the Texas scene. Now these guys have rules. They abide by these rules. Kinda like a constitution, and they follow it which puts them head and shoulders above Obama right there. They have territories, and interests attached to those territories. Mostly, it boils down to this is THEIR state. They don’t like people rolling in from places like California, and acting like they belong here, and unlike some folks, they’ll stand up and defend that. There are rules of etiquette. You see, there’s this thing called a “rocker” that sits below the club emblem on the jacket. That “rocker” signifies the club’s place or origin. The rule is very plain. If you’re from California, don’t put Texas on that Jacket! You think this is silly? Consider this; most Bikers are vets. Patches, medals, and ribbons MEAN things. Men fought and died for those things, and they aren’t to be taken lightly. This is opposed to letting a bunch of Muslims have prayer day on the state Capitol while we all sit there and wring our pearly white hands, wishing they’d just go away.

Honor, loyalty, and respect are important to these men. So, here come the Cossacks rolling into Texas, putting a Texas rocker on their jackets, and flipping the bird at the Bandidos. They really did that, folks. I’ve seen the pictures. Now they didn’t all immediately meet down on Main Street and start exchanging blows. Realizing the volatile nature of the situation they had meetings at places like Twin Peaks to try to find a middle ground. This is where it gets crazy. Let’s start peeling that onion.

Let’s get all the players in place. You have at least two rival clubs, and the cops, and brothers and sisters we HAD some cops there, serving and protecting. Regular cops, state cops, SWAT cops, and most likely a few Feds, who can’t seem to find any problems down on the border where the REAL “gangs” are, but they sure found Waco. Now, I’m gonna tell you from the get go, I don’t like Waco, and I don’t like Feds! I’ve been all over Texas and I can count the times I stopped in Waco on one hand. I think the FBI, CIA, and NSA are a complete waste of money we could just buy beer with, and do more good, but that’s just me. (Now watch the NSA assign a team to study that last statement trying to figure out what I really meant. See what I mean?)

So, hail, hail, the gang’s all here. Twin Peaks full of Bikers, and cops behind every bush, and on every roof. Oh yeah, they had snipers out that day serving, and protecting us. Pour a little beer on the fire and voila! You get a fist fight. Most amazing thing I ever saw, bikers drinking beer, and fighting in a bar. Never saw THAT coming. Well, as luck would have it, they spilled out into the parking lot. Now, consider this. All these seasoned Bikers, KNOWING the cops are there, suddenly decide to start shooting. If you believe that, well, have I got a bridge for you. Actually, I do! There’s this old bridge right there in Waco that looks like a miniature version of the Golden Gate. Ok, peel that onion. How many Bikers were shot, and how many COPS were shot? Do the math, connect the dots.

Before it was all over there were lots of bodies, and I think 172 arrests, all for “organized crime” and not ONE cell phone video to be had. DUDE! Even ISIS has cell phones. Of course, there was some gum shoe saying it was the most violent crime scene he’d seen in all his thirty-four years “serving and protecting” us. Guess he had the day off when Janet Reno decided to torch that church, huh? They sealed off the entire area so they could sanitize it, and the picture we DO have is all these mad dog bikers sitting docile on a bench, arrested. Now THAT’S a BLOOMING onion.

Of course the spin got to going, with the “authorities” claiming the bikers were putting a hit on all law enforcement . . . NO cops were shot that day. Don’t you think if the bikers were so vicious toward cops at least ONE of them would have thrown a beer mug, or SOMETHING? We’ve all seen this before. David Koresh led a band of crazy fanatics bent on overthrowing the government, and marrying little girls. Not ONE conviction in federal court. The bikers came out of Twin Peaks, guns a blazing . . . Not ONE cop got hurt, nor people in ANY of the surrounding shops. Swat them bees.

What gets me is if the government can amass such a force against AMERICANS what’s the problem with the border? Just string them snipers along that fence and little girls will be able to play jacks in the Texas sand. Oh, my bad . . . Mexicans shoot BACK!

Killeen, The City Without Limits

I feel good today, which is a miracle! I have mundane nights. I typically sit on the porch, have a drink, read the news and contemplate what I’m going to write about the next day. Thanks to Doc, Becky, Tommy, Bobby, Crystal Lee and the Apostle I have a vast array of subjects to choose from. Ever hear the term, “To hell in a hand basket?” Well, THAT was my Saturday!

Now, for the record, I didn’t flip flop on Garland, Jade Helm, or Obama. I was pretty firm about Garland, but when I saw Pamela Geller’s legs I “modified.” I still maintain she set those Jihadists up masterfully. I just differed about the timing, that’s all. It was as plain as the nose on your face. “Here boy, here boy,” “ALLAH AKBAR!” BANG! Roll the credits, fade to black. I’d love to stay serious about that incident, but then I see those chalk outlines on the pavement and just start laughing all over again. Now we have, supposedly, seventy ISIS soldiers headed for Texas. Hold that thought, we’ll discuss that later.

Anyway, Pamela’s action was a point of contention among the brethren down here. There are those who prefer to negotiate with rattlesnakes while Texans just tend to have a rattlesnake roundup. Without naming names, suffice to say there was a lively discussion on the subject, which went world wide and peed all over my jeans. All parties are friends, and I’m stuck in the middle with a beer, and a Chihuahua. THAT was my, “Good Morning!”

Now, without getting too specific, I’ve got some stupid people in my family. Only it’s not MY family, it’s this extended white trash kind of family where everybody is a uncle, and more divorces than King Henry VIII. Wait, Henry killed his ex’s . . . Maybe he had something on the ball after all. In my family Father’s Day is the most confusing day of the year. Need I say more? And I am the blame for ALL of their problems. I’m thinking about changing my name to “Wilbur X!” I’m not going into detail, those who have ears, let them hear.

I capped off the night with phone calls from a drunk, who was hiding under bushes, after being tossed out of a bar because she thought the Mexican Mafia was after her. I crappith thee NOT! I get calls like that. I was kinda on the fence about if I should go pick her up or not. There’s this little angel that sits on my right shoulder telling me I am my sister’s keeper, but then there’s this little red devil on the left who has me hoping she’s just drunk enough . . .

Oh, and let us not forget my former daughter in law’s picture of her holding an SKS rifle spammed someone’s FaceBook page. That was . . . Special. I honestly don’t know how that happened. They wanted me to remove the picture. Ok, a picture of a seventeen year old girl, with a gun, in a tank top, winking, and kissing at the camera that was syndicated in 2007! Yeah, remove THAT!

Anyway, I feel good today. Everyone who was upset with me, I guess, are sleeping it off. Like geese, they’ll wake up in a different world today. Ok, back to the seventy “soldiers” attacking Texas. Now understand, Garland aside, Fort Hood is the prize. I’d venture to guess that if you took the total figures of all the people killed in the Middle East in the last fifteen years, eighty percent of them ate a bullet from Fort Hood. Now, right next to Fort Hood is an abomination called Killeen. The Cartels took one look at Killeen and said, “DAYUM!” People in Killeen think the world is flat, because when people leave town they never come back. Ever hear of a black hole, and I’m not being racist here. A black hole is where a star falls in on itself, and in its tiny size, wrecks more havoc than the original star ever could. Well, Killeen is a black hole! If you imagine New York City compressed to about the size of of an outlet mall . . . THAT’S KILLEEN! While sitting on my porch at night, if I don’t hear at least one distant pistol shot, I think Jesus came back!

Now, I’m not saying there is a violent contingent here that is disproportionate with any other town, but I’m not saying the sun will rise tomorrow either. So here some seventy “Soldiers of Allah” to show the homies how it’s done. The phone rings in a trailer park just off of MLK Blvd.

“Yeah, what good?”

“Uh, yo! You got anybody in the market for some guns?”

“Maybe, what you got?”

“Cool, now look out, I got seventy AK-47s. Never fired, and only dropped once.”

Killeen . . . The city without limits!

#killeen #forthood


Morgan Freeman for President

I just love being politically incorrect, no, really, I do. To be politically correct you have to do all the updates, and if you miss one, your mouth crashes! In fact, I would go as far to say that I go out of my way to be incorrect.. I WORK on it. I find everything from using the term, “The ‘N’word” to gay marriage, to voting for Obama funny as hell. And school teachers? OMLG! Take the case just this week where that kid got thrown out of school just because he said he didn’t like Obama, and the principle said that he would NOT tolerate INtolerance in his school. PANTIES CHECK! Did that happen in California? If it didn’t, it should have. It amazes me that in a state with so many beautiful women there aren’t any men.

Do you want to know why politically correct people always play the race card? Because they ain’t got nothing else! Let me check . . . used the word, “ain’t,” double negative . . . yep, I’m rolling today. This is what happens when I DON’T drink! Anyway, I digress. You can’t say anything about Obama without the race card hitting the table. Guy doesn’t have any policy, wouldn’t know the constitution if it ran up and peed on his leg, runs around with people like Kerry and Hillary, and has a wife who seriously needs to just stay in the White House. Obama’s not a race card, he’s a race DECK!

I do like some things about the president. He drinks Bud Lite and smokes cigarettes. And don’t tell me he quit smoking . . . Look at him! Boy talks good too. (How’d you like that word, “boy?”) Somebody STOP me! You want a black president so bad, I have a suggestion, Morgan Freeman! He’s played the president in a couple of films, and heck, that’s all Obama does . . . PLAY president. Funny thing was in the movie, “Olympus Has Fallen,” Morgan was more constitutional than the real deal! Ain’t that a hoot! Who was the last actor we had in the White House?

Putin’s not politically correct. He’s just a butthole through and through. BiBi is too. I think this Cameron guy in England might be, but I don’t know. You gotta watch them Limeys. Oh, who said that? I meant the “L” word. Usually, when things get this messed up the Krauts jump up and try to take over the world. Remember Adolph? The last great white boy? Y’all swatting them bees yet?

There will always be people who have nothing to say, so they try to apply rules to restrict what you have to say. If you say anything about Obama the FIRST thing that comes out of a liberal’s mouth is, “You just sayin’ dat cause he’s black!” No, first off he’s half black, and second he’s a freaking idiot! No, I take that back, he’s not an idiot, he’s the best the liberals could come up with.

So let’s look at the upcoming race. In the last two we voted based on complexion, this next one we’ll shoot for genitailia . I assume Hillary’s a woman because she’s got a kid that looks just like her. What do you get when you cross breed two crooked lawyers? CHELSEA! At least Obama’s daughters are cute! And no matter WHAT she does, Hilliary is doing the presidential shuffle. Do you want to know how screwed up this country really is? Last night Bobby Ritter and I did a one on one on the Rage Against the Regime Podcast, and we ended up talking about what a great guy Al Capone was! Now if that’s not a cluster screw I’m not a white boy from Austin! I crappith thee not! We ended up actually MISSING Al. Interesting thought; Al Capone’s solution to ISIS. Your thoughts?

You gotta laugh, folks. If you let this stuff get to you there isn’t enough blood pressure medicine in the world! In 1933, if two fools showed up to kill people at an art show because they were drawing pictures of some foreigner, Roosevelt would have every Muslim in a camp the next DAY! We did that just because people had slanted eyes. Ah, the good old days. Will America survive? Hell no! Have you lost your freaking mind? And stop worrying about Jade Helm. The cartels ain’t gonna let that get out of control. I just love being politically incorrect!

You Wan Meet My Seester?

Jade Helm is looming on the horizon. I want to examine this with a critical eye. There are two extreme positions. On the one hand the idea is out and out martial law, with closed Walmarts being used for detention centers and everyone from Tea Party activists to WWII vets are going to be rounded up. The loyal opposition, of course, claims that this is not true, and it’s all a training exercise designed to teach soldiers about urban warfare so they can patrol Iraq. The truth is somewhere in between. I have several questions. With Fort Hood, Fort Bliss and a whole freaking DESERT from El Paso to LA, why all this “hostile state” nonsense? But, we’ve NEVER seen the government throw good money after bad on some nonsensical project before, now HAVE we? I mean, we’ve got a president who never held a job in his LIFE!

Training is always a dangerous thing. I mean, look what we’ve got for police. It doesn’t matter if the intended purpose is to learn to secure neighborhoods in Stupidstan, the training sticks. One size fits all. It doesn’t matter when you learn to kick in a door if Billy Joe Jim Bob, or Ali Baba and his forty wives are on the other side, the song remains the same. We don’t NEED to train in the streets. That’s what we have places like Fort Hood for. I saw an exact replica of Mount Carmel at North Fort Hood after the Waco fiasco . . . Wait, those were civilians, but I digress. Now, where was I? Oh yes, Fort Hood. They don’t need to be patrolling the streets of Killeen, what they need to do is keep Islamic nuts from blasting them to kingdom come in their own back yard.

The Walmart thing puzzles me, I’ll be honest. I don’t think the cartels are mixed up in all of this or they’d be closing Home Depots. Maybe they are. STOP! Now I’m getting nutty! Walmart has been talking loud and walking proud for years, shorting employees their hours, selling products specifically designed to fit THEIR business model, and “supposedly” the largest retail operation in the world. There is always a curve, always a turning point. What seems too good to be true, usually isn’t. Anybody out there remember Gibsons?

I know for a fact down here in Texas we have a grocery store called HEB. Now, they’re just as bad as Walmart, what with having no problem using illegals and product from Mexico if need be. Haven’t seen an American avocado there yet, all Mexican. (Don’t eat those, folks. They’ll make you go poo poo!) Fact remains an HEB can open up right across the street from a Walmart and rain death down upon it. Large stores, good meat, and the employees actually know where the MILK is! Also they specialize you young, cute girls at the check out counter, which is always nice. On a smaller scale we have a convenience store here in Killeen called Mickey’s, started by a school teacher after his wife died. In his depression he cranked up about thirty of them. And this is a PoDunk town people! Ran practically ALL the 7/11’s out of town. And they did it with chicken livers and gizzards! Walmart has perpetuated this myth of invincibility, but could it be there’s a leak in the dyke? All this is speculation, of course.

What I ask is if we’re going to spend all this money putting this exercise together, and they really need to train in urban warfare might I suggest the border? They could use real bullets and have real terrorists, hiding in ice cream shops shooting back. And, hey, they’re brown like Iraqis! Added bonus you can meet their seester, she virgin! You want to have a bunch of people smoking dope, cutting people’s heads off? I give you the CARTELS! They’ll never buy into that, though. Makes too much sense, and not near as much fun as practicing an assault on TCBY in the Killeen Mall!

Liberal Democrats

I have a friend that I never talk to outside of a friendly “like” on her kids’ pictures. Why? Because she’s a liberal democrat. Her philosophy is simple. If it’s liberal democrat, she’s IN! Run dead babies up the flagpole two at a time; FINE! She’s a liberal democrat. Let illegals enter the country and rape eight year olds; FINE! She’s a liberal democrat. Put an illegal alien in the White House; FANTASTIC! She’s a LIBERAL DEMOCRAT!

Liberal democrats never look at an issue any deeper than to see if it’s crazy enough to be liberal democrat. They are so stupid it defies logic. Pass laws against Bar B Q smoke in Austin. Great idea! It interferes with all the pot smoke drifting around. Why do we issue these idiots drivers licenses? And they spring to the defense of any liberal democratic idea no matter how far out in left field it is. Never have a conversation with a liberal democrat. You may as well be discussing the Karma Sutra with the pastor at the Westboro Baptist Church.

Gay marriage? Why heck yeah. LIBERAL DEMOCRATS! Give up all our guns and hope the cartels will find Jesus! Liberal Democrats! Vote for Hilliary Clinton? They voted for Obama, didn’t they? Obamacare is a procto with a dry glove. LIBERAL DEMOCRATS! And it’s all Bush’s fault!

So, what do we do? Well, you can’t just shoot ’em. There’s laws. You can’t reason with them. You may as well be arguing with a chimpanzee at the zoo about the price of bananas. What we need to do is convince them that the voting booths are at the food stamp office. Then, while they’re down there holding their number, hopefully the polls will close. Since they love gay marriage so much maybe in a generation or two they’ll become extinct. Unless they find a way to procreate like an amoeba because they’re LIBERAL DEMOCRATS!

Cannon Ball and a Feather

I was on the radio with KC Massey last night. He was detailing his arrest on the border. I’m not going to go into the whole thing, but it was two hours of one flub up after another by our United States Government. Then, like a bolt from the blue it hit me. The Lord appeared before me in glory and asked, “What did you expect?” The last thing the American government did right was . . . was . . . was, well, they’ve been in business for over two hundred sum odd years so I know there HAS to be SOMETHING there.

Let’s just look at the stuff that goes, “bump” in the night. Get drunk the night before and get the president’s head blown off the next day by a warehouse clerk. Get run out of Vietnam by a bunch of kids in sandals and pajamas. Screw up a burglary a CRACKHEAD could have done better. Solicit oral sex from a school girl and too STUPID to pay her dry cleaning bill. Go into two wars looking for one old man on a walking stick who basks away sipping iced tea in a condo thirty five miles away, and last but not least, elect a president that makes PUTIN look good! And you pay money for this, people. Matter of fact, you paid money for this TODAY!

We need to change a few things. With our sterling record in the Middle East we need to retire the bald eagle and replace it with a yellow bellied sap sucker. Need to make Old Glory flame retardant, and we need to appoint Bill Gates secretary of the treasury. Now we have Jade Helm. While I was concerned at first, I’m at ease now. The American Government is doing it! Now, if it were being headed up by the Mexican cartels I’d already on my way to Canada. Don’t think so? How’s that Jimmy Hoffa case working out for you, huh? Proof POSITIVE the government did NOT have a thing to do with it. I think that the president had a secret meeting and asked his cabinet, “Who can we make war on and win?” John Kerry said, “Ourselves?”

About the only thing they ever fined tuned was extortion, when they dreamed up the IRS, but heck, the Hell’s Angels can do that. Embargoed Cuba pretty good. Yep, fixed THOSE cigars didn’t they? I happen to be a cigar smoker and lifting the blockade of Cuba is about the only thing I agree with.

The DisUnited States of Illusion keeps limping along with its porous border, funny money, and politically correct president, and we’ll keep paying for it hoping the Chinese don’t foreclose the mortgage. Oh yeah, we did that too! In a thousand years some kid’ll ask his teacher what happened to the ancient empire of America, and the teacher will say, “Oh, they started marrying goats, calling toilette paper wealth, and all got strung out on pot. Mexico finally annexed them.”

From a Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin