The prophet, John Fogarty once said, “What we burn in our crazy minds.” With this in mind, last night I must have sat through four hours of various conspiracy theories concerning the Boston Bombings. Like layers of an onion, as I peeled back each part more complexity was exposed. I shared a lot of this on my Facebook page. The people behind this have a whole vocabulary that goes with the show. Things like, “New World Order,” and “Drills,” and “False Flags.” They fit their scenarios together like pieces of a vast mental puzzle. With the bombings, the running theory is that the two bombers were embedded CIA operatives who were sacrificed for the purpose of forwarding more power shift toward Obama, and the proliferation of gun control. Since they used pressure cookers, shouldn’t we have pressure cooker control? The mother and aunt and father have all come out ranting and raving about this, complete with those horrible Russian accents, and the “alternative” media is lapping that up like hound dogs on spilled gravy. One theory even tied the Boston bombing with the event in Waco. The guy continually looks into the camera and repeats, “Fertilizer?” He obviously has never blown stumps on a ranch. Yeah kid, fertilizer! Then the surviving bomber scribbles on a pad the he and his brother did the attack all by themselves with no help, no finance, and no problems with the FBI, police, or even the zoning commission. They picked the marathon because it was in the STREET! No doubt the conspiracy theorists will respond with the idea that the kid is protecting his comrades so that they can continue the fight. Yeah, right! Ok, first off this kid is a pot head. Look at him. This little nerd crawled right out of a yellow submarine and followed his lunatic, religious nut brother to hell. The theorists claim the FBI, CIA, whomEVER was feverishly trying to kill this punk. I personally have never seen a more restrained bunch of cops in my LIFE! What, with robots, helicopters, and heat seeking cameras, I personally would have lobbed a REAL grenade in there, collected the pieces, bought the guy a new boat and called it a day. I have a theory, and a prejudice. In my life I have never seen our government successfully carry out anything. I mean look at it. We couldn’t invade Cuba, could conduct a burglary that a crackhead could pull off, and couldn’t get a favor from an intern with the secret service watching for the wife at the door! Now, if you want to be alarmed about the government? Well, there you are. Now, under Obama they are proving they can’t add, can’t slap a fat kid in Korea, and can’t negotiate the price of a call girl in South America. I learned how to do that in Mexico in the tenth grade! We catch fish off Alaska, send them to China to pay the interest on our debt, who in turn, bring the fish right back to us and sell them to McDonald’s. We import avocados from Mexico, covered with dung, while thousands of acres of them bake in the sun of Southern California. All of this courtesy of the federal government! They are STUPID! The congress and senate are as useless as them things hanging off a boar hog, and the Supreme Court, OMG, don’t get me started, we would do better letting rulings be handed down by Judge Roy Bean. You begin to understand why we here in Texas just want to leave. I’m not going to say anything about Obama because if you criticize him you’re labeled a racist so I’ll just say he has a white dude for vice president.
If our government could pull off one conspiracy, just one, I would feel more secure. Maybe invade Indonesia, after a major quake and tsunami, and WIN the war, then I would feel a whole lot better. But don’t hold your breath. We have to beat them Arabs who presently are holding their ground with pipe bombs and fried goat before we can even think about taking on any country as formidable as say . . . Mexico! And the conspiracy buffs are all up in the air about the law passed allowing this same bunch of Keystone Cops to spy on the Internet. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure they’ll do that job with the same fervor they had when they checked out these two kids who were constructing LAND MINES in their freaking DORM ROOM! And when you watch a conspiracy theory pay close attention to what they are selling. That’s right, they have ads. They sell everything from packaged food to how-to books on hiding in a hole in the ground. Follow the money, folks. Just follow the money. The strength of America is not the government, it’s the people! If the government would just get out of the way and let the American people work we’d all be a lot better off. Forget about the FED, get Fed UP! Look at it, folks. On what planet does Hillary and Sanders even think about being president? That’s like making El Chapo the school nurse. Most people are like sheep, and will follow the sheep dog, but remember, there’s always a black sheep. Or is he president. What we burn in our crazy minds.