What We Burn in our Crazy Minds


The prophet, John Fogarty once said, “What we burn in our crazy minds.” With this in mind, last night I must have sat through four hours of various conspiracy theories concerning the Boston Bombings. Like layers of an onion, as I peeled back each part more complexity was exposed. I shared a lot of this on my Facebook page. The people behind this have a whole vocabulary that goes with the show. Things like, “New World Order,” and “Drills,” and “False Flags.” They fit their scenarios together like pieces of a vast mental puzzle. With the bombings, the running theory is that the two bombers were embedded CIA operatives who were sacrificed for the purpose of forwarding more power shift toward Obama, and the proliferation of gun control. Since they used pressure cookers, shouldn’t we have pressure cooker control? The mother and aunt and father have all come out ranting and raving about this, complete with those horrible Russian accents, and the “alternative” media is lapping that up like hound dogs on spilled gravy. One theory even tied the Boston bombing with the event in Waco. The guy continually looks into the camera and repeats, “Fertilizer?” He obviously has never blown stumps on a ranch. Yeah kid, fertilizer!      Then the surviving bomber scribbles on a pad the he and his brother did the attack all by themselves with no help, no finance, and no problems with the FBI, police, or even the zoning commission. They picked the marathon because it was in the STREET! No doubt the conspiracy theorists will respond with the idea that the kid is protecting his comrades so that they can continue the fight. Yeah, right!  Ok, first off this kid is a pot head. Look at him. This little nerd crawled right out of a yellow submarine and followed his lunatic, religious nut brother to hell. The theorists claim the FBI, CIA, whomEVER was feverishly trying to kill this punk. I personally have never seen a more restrained bunch of cops in my LIFE!  What, with robots, helicopters, and heat seeking cameras, I personally would have lobbed a REAL grenade in there, collected the pieces, bought the guy a new boat and called it a day.     I have a theory, and a prejudice. In my life I have never seen our government successfully carry out anything. I mean look at it. We couldn’t invade Cuba, could conduct a burglary that a crackhead could pull off, and couldn’t get a favor from an intern with the secret service watching for the wife at the door! Now, if you want to be alarmed about the government? Well, there you are. Now, under Obama they are proving they can’t add, can’t slap a fat kid in Korea, and can’t negotiate the price of a call girl in South America. I learned how to do that in Mexico in the tenth grade! We catch fish off Alaska, send them to China to pay the interest on our debt, who in turn, bring the fish right back to us and sell them to McDonald’s. We import avocados from Mexico, covered with dung, while thousands of acres of them bake in the sun of Southern California. All of this courtesy of the federal government!  They are STUPID!     The congress and senate are as useless as them things hanging off a boar hog, and the Supreme Court, OMG, don’t get me started, we would do better letting rulings be handed down by Judge Roy Bean. You begin to understand why we here in Texas just want to leave. I’m not going to say anything about Obama because if you criticize him you’re labeled a racist so I’ll just say he has a white dude for vice president.

If our government could pull off one conspiracy, just one, I would feel more secure. Maybe invade Indonesia, after a major quake and tsunami, and WIN the war, then I would feel a whole lot better. But don’t hold your breath. We have to beat them Arabs who presently are holding their ground with pipe bombs and fried goat before we can even think about taking on any country as formidable as say . . . Mexico!     And the conspiracy buffs are all up in the air about the law passed allowing this same bunch of Keystone Cops to spy on the Internet. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure they’ll do that job with the same fervor they had when they checked out these two kids who were constructing LAND MINES in their freaking DORM ROOM! And when you watch a conspiracy theory pay close attention to what they are selling. That’s right, they have ads. They sell everything from packaged food to how-to books on hiding in a hole in the ground. Follow the money, folks. Just follow the money.     The strength of America is not the government, it’s the people! If the government would just get out of the way and let the American people work we’d all be a lot better off. Forget about the FED, get Fed UP! Look at it, folks. On what planet does Hillary and Sanders even think about being president? That’s like making El Chapo the school nurse. Most people are like sheep, and will follow the sheep dog, but remember, there’s always a black sheep. Or is he president. What we burn in our crazy minds.


Post Turtle


As we watch the rules of the game evolve, the march to the White House continues, and the Post Turtles abound. More about that later.  I’m amazed that Obama doesn’t seem to realize how lame of a duck he is. And all this talk, and innuendo about his possible third term. NOT! Just stick a fork in Obama, he’s done. He’s looking for a legacy. Well, global warming, which was caused by all the hot air coming out of his administration. My word to the loyal opposition: Ok, you got your black guy, now it’s time to move on.

Donald Trump is taking the nation by storm, in spite of the main stream media polls telling us that everyone hates him. Cruz? Well, what can I say? Ted Cruz came blazing out of the Tea Party not long back, even got on the cover of Texas Monthly holding the Bill of Rights. He gathers a few victories, but frankly folks, I’m a Texan, and I fully understand taking a butt-whipping and spinning it up into a win for the public, i.e. the Alamo. In any twelve step program there is a first step where you have to at least admit things are screwed up. Ted ain’t gonna win. Then, there’s that other guy, the ringer, who hangs on, and hangs on, and hangs on, like an ex-wife you owe a boat load of child support while she’s living with some guy named, “Animal.” You remember Animal, don’t you. The guy she ran off with. Well, that’s this guy.

Mitt Romney rattled his chains, and the fat lady ain’t sang on that one yet. Side note; I spent the better part of the weekend watching two things. One was re-runs of “To Catch a Predator,” and the other was long, boring videos on how the Mormons are going to take over the world, and their prophet is the “Beast.” The Predator series, because I just love to drink Jim Beam and watch stupid, and the Mormon thing because I just love to drink Jim Beam and watch stupid. Remember “Deep Survival?” Well, that’s Mitt Romney. Uh, he ain’t gonna win either. Next.

Sanders. I love to watch him speak. Same deal, drink Beam and watch stupid. He comes off just like those guys in that kitchen with a six-pack, and a package of condoms trying to say that they were on the way to the library when they accidently lost their clothes in some thirteen-year-old girl’s mom’s garage. This guy is a stone hippy. He could play a part in a Cheech and Chong movie. You know, where Cheech is in a straight jacket on the floor of some nut house, and Sanders offering him, “The Key?”

Then there’s Hillary, Presidente Designado. Liar, Liar, pants on fire, and considering the size of those pants that would be a bigger fire than the one at the embassy in Benghazi. The email scandal, what’s that? Hillary was so stupid that what she did was akin to a cheating husband saving his love notes to his girlfriend on his wife’s iCloud account. Cheating husband, Hillary, I digress.

All of the above, save one are “Post Turtles.” What’s a Post Turtle, you ask. Well, I’ll tell you. So you driving along some country road and come upon this gate with two posts on either side. On top of one of them is a turtle. Now, work with me on this. The turtle didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what dummy put him up there in the first place. POST TURTLE! Trump is not a post turtle. So, we watch and see if the will of the people will prevail, or will some new reality series distract us, and we end up with a post turtle. Ya’ll be cool!


The Eight-Hundred-Pound Gorilla


There’s an eight-hundred-pound gorilla in the room, and Donald Trump is exposing it. With the fiasco in Colorado, the hypocrisy of the RNC is becoming so blatant that it defies logic. In times before the elections were rigged, but were so fogged with smoke and mirrors that it was hard to see. In a close race there was always the illusion of a fair count. A candidate would get 52% or so and it would be declared a winner by a “landside,” with a “mandate,” and the general population accepted it. Trump came along, and he’s so blasted hot that there’s no margin between him and say, Ted Cruz. So, you got Ted lagging behind Don, what do you do?  Why, have an election without any voters. Just give the delegates to Ted, all of them, and tell the citizens of Colorado to just suck it up. They have marijuana in Colorado, but they’re not that high!

The RNC is very clear about the fact that they can make up the rules as they go along. They have the contenders chasing the twelve hundred some odd number to assure nomination like a donkey after a carrot that he’ll never eat, and all the while, making sure that it is understood that even should someone attain the magic number it won’t matter because they will simply broker in someone who will lose to Hillary, the New World Order person of choice. Meanwhile, Hillary sucks up to the black vote in the southeast, and they don’t know, or don’t understand what she did to ACORN. They just hear the word, “Clinton” and file right in line down at the voting booth. Bill Clinton portrayed himself as a liberal with his assault weapon ban, thereby claiming to have saved the black race from itself. You think Donald Trump is a capitalist? Did someone say, “Clinton Foundation?

Right now the main stream media is putting out stats, and figures showing Bernie Sanders is blowing the doors off, and if you’ll notice, Hillary is oblivious to this. Wanna know why? Cause it’s a lie, that’s why. Someone has to be pitted against Hillary at the convention to make it all look legitimate, but the song remains the same, and the fat lady will sing by the time it’s all over. Remember when I told you there weren’t any golden plates? Well, quivering, shaking old men don’t get elected president either. Just certain things that won’t happen. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t doubt if the RNC is propping up Sanders to help this along. For all those out there trying to catch me in a typo, that last statement was not one of them. I said exactly what I meant. The REPUBLICANS are fronting SANDERS to rig the election on both sides. Now, do you understand? Do you finally understand.  They only trump card is Donald Trump!

Trump don’t play the game. Trump is not part of the organization. Trump is not a “made man,” in the Mafia called American politics. He’s Bugsy Siegel! There is no way the powers that be are going to let someone like Donald Trump get a piece of the “action.” So what’ll happen if they actually stomp over the population, and proceed with business as usual? Well, I don’t think there’ll be a Civil War, but I do believe that there will be a renaissance. Remember back on the day when the Catholic Church ran the show? Then Martin Luther nailed his little love note to that door, and suddenly all the power that the church had went away like so much cotton candy. What “The Donald” has done is exposed the system for what it is. It’s no longer the line from Alex Jones screaming about a “fix.” It is an eight-hundred-pound-gorilla disguised as an elephant.

This is going to generate a whole new breed of politician. Trump may lose this election, but he will win the war, because if they pull off this coop d’etat it will so offend the population that grass roots organizations like the Tea Party will find new life. Short story; they won’t look like outsiders anymore because killing Trumps run is a blow against mainstream America. We will all feel the sting. That eight-hundred-pound gorilla will begin to look like Cheeta! Barack Obama divided this nation like no other president since Lincoln, and Trump has gathered support from all demographics. Before November we will all know the gorilla quite well. All we gotta do is stuff him, and put him in a museum right next to that freaking elephant.

Super Tuesday and Hand Sizes


Super Tuesday and Hand Sizes. That’s what “Super Tuesday” boiled down to. Silly me, I thought we were trying to have an election, and here we’ve come down to a contest from a biker bar. I’m cool with that. Glad to see that the elite are on my level. First, let’s look at the results for the be big show last night. Remember when I told you about Trump’s southern strategy? Well, like the Homeys in Killeen say, “Whomp! Dey it is!” I pointed that out first, and if Alex Jones or Glenn Beck take credit for that observation I’m gonna get mad! For the record, they totally missed it.

Let’s go from bottom to top, shall we? Rubio. You know, Marco is a Cuban from Florida. Why do I keep having visions of Al Pacino? The term, “Scarface.” Ok, forget that, let’s just look at the number. Wait, there are no numbers. Oh, my bad, Minnesota. I guess that counts for something. Now, the skinny. Untethered by facts he went straight for the hands. Now, I’m crude, folks. I had a forty year career as “Weird Wilbur,” and given enough Jim Beam at a party you’ll hide the women folk. I’ve tempered a bit, but I’m older, not dead. Anyway, Rubio centered on this for all to see. Head’s up, Marco, it’s the shoe size, not the hands. (Mine is a 12 EE.) Trump didn’t respond, which was expected, but personally I would have run with it. To Trump’s credit, he didn’t.

Ted Cruz. For Ted it was “TwoFer Tuesday.” He got Texas, and for someone to win their home state is sort of like, “Look, my mommy voted for me!” Actually, Ted lives here, so he most likely put more time into the Texas primary than he did, say, Alabama. He picked up Oklahoma, too, but heck, they always do what we tell them to do anyway, and the delegate count isn’t, as the Donald would say, “Yuuuuge!” I’m not going to pick on Ted too much, I mean, at least he didn’t start a “measuring contest” in some Miami bar. He is a consummate politician, and will chart his course. He will be a force to contend with at the convention, and planks are almost as important as candidates when the rubber hits the road. The nominee will be standing on a platform made from planks put there by people like Ted Cruz. I was taken aback when Trump called him a liar during the last debate. Hey folks, they’re all liars. That’s why they’re called, “Politicians.”

Bernie Sanders will never beat Hillary. He came out recently saying that no one needed a gun for self-defense. Bye Bye eighty percent of possible supporters. Stupid is as stupid does. Well, he won his home state. (Look, my mommy voted for me.) I’ve seen these hippies come and go. Same logic, same crowd, same results. (George McGovern.) I’m glad he’s had a job for the last three or four decades, but it’s time to get his Wikipedia listing and move on. Now, Trump is a yankee, but Sanders is a YAAAAAANNNNNKKKKEEEEE! I don’t know if he was even on the ballot in Texas. Guess he was, there are laws, but nobody noticed. And he looks like a hippie. Frankly, he looks like Timothy Leary. I loved that cameo Leary did in a Cheech and Chong movie, but that’s another matter.

Drum roll please! HILLARY! I watched her speak last night. All I can say is that she showed up in a timely fashion, which is more than I can say about Cruz. I sat there, iPhone in hand, waiting for him to come on stage, and after three beers I peed on the fire and called in the dogs. That’s when I found Hillary. How do I put this? She had this Muslim chic correctly positioned to her rear left, wearing that thing they have to wear on their head to keep from being stoned, and she smiled every time Hillary opened her mouth. Frankly, I was waiting for her to reach into her blouse and pull the string. Do Muslim women get seventy-two virgins? Deep theological stuff there! Anyway, I was trying to place what was familiar about Hillary’s speech, not the content, I’ll address that shortly, the tone, and then it hit me. The female computerized voice you hear when you get a wrong number on a cell phone. The speech itself was a series of sound bites that evoked cheers from the crowd no matter what she said. “Make America whole again.” She centered on that as a counter to Trump’s “Make America great again,” because she didn’t have anyone on staff smart enough to come up with something cleverer without borrowing. Then she turned and wandered off into the crowd like an Alzheimer’s patient at medication time. Nod, Nod, Smile, Smile, roll the credits, fade to black.

Trumps plan worked exactly like I said it would, and he’s in Florida right now serving up Scarface a second helping. Oh, my bad, Rubio. Whatever happens in Florida is of no consequence. If Trump wins it’ll be a big slap in Rubio’s face, and if he loses (My MOMMY voted for me!) Trump will be the nominee. I read that in a political article yesterday by a man who hasn’t missed a guess in like, thirty years! He will be president if we can guard all the cemeteries on election night. You know among democrats that night is known as “The Night of the Living Dead.”

Forty Acres and a Mule

“If it comes down between Hillary or Trump, I’m going with Trump because Hilliary is just the same old forty acres and a mule we’ve been promised for years!” (Black janitor at a truck stop in Alabama.) Forty acres and a mule has become a catch phrase since just after the Civil War. Freed slaves held onto that dream, still do, just the forty acres is now HUD Housing, and the mule delivers the meth. The end game was Obama, the realization that blacks had finally come into their own. So why do we still have the same, if not more racial division than we did before him? Because the huddled masses voted in a black white man, that’s why.

There is a segment of the population that is not Watts, not Dr. Ben Carson. There is a group of people between forty and about sixty-five who are black, but black with understanding. They, through a life of striving to meet the mortgage, keep their jobs, and raise kids, have long ago abandoned the carrots the democrats dangle before their eyes, and Donald Trump represents a true populist movement that offers their children a better life far beyond the forty acres and a mule.

In the words of same janitor, “I want a job cleaning the stables, and a share cropping agreement. Mr. Trump will give me that. Not some welfare check that chains me down, but something I can hold onto.” Now, what this all boils down to is in addition to the rural south, Donald Trump is securing a segment of the black vote that will push him even higher. So there you have it. Rural voters, black voters, some major cities, and a host of other areas, all jumping onto the Trump train as Whoopi and associates book their flights for anywhere outside of Trump America.

There is going to be a debate in Texas tonight. By the time this hits the publishers the results will be in, but my guess is that Trump will hand Cruz his face, or portions thereof. At any rate, it will not be the Cruz show. I don’t know the current numbers, but someone told me this morning that Trump has more numbers than Cruz and Rubio put together. Tonight will be a heads up for someone.

The attack on Mr. Trump has taken bizarre twists. Mitt Romney chimed in today suggesting that Trumps past tax returns be looked into. He readily admitted that he didn’t have any definite ideas as to what would might be found, but he was just sure that something was there, ranging from Trump overstating his wealth all the way to lying about donations to vets. That’s called a witch hunt, folks, and losers are real good about starting them.

Another article cited Trumps failed marriages, failed businesses, switching religions, political parties and hair styles. As I read it I realized this bozo had described me! Could it be that life has matured Donald Trump, and his vision for America is exactly what he says it is? Could it be he’s learned from his mistakes, licked his wounds, and went on? Could it be that middle America is looking at him and see themselves? Could it be that we are tired of the polyester candidates the parties churn out election after election? Could it be that not only blacks, but all segments of the country have finally seen past the myth of forty acres and a mule? The very division imposed on us has drawn us all together, and Donald Trump is the inevitable end result.


How to Shoot Hillary From the Saddle


How do you shoot Hillary out of the saddle? Actually, it’s easy because she’s doing it herself. Hillary has convinced herself that guns are the key issue to winning the White House. She thinks that the majority of the American public wants all guns picked up, and melted down, with a ramped up 911 system to replace the Second Amendment. Inside her little bubble she can see no farther. Meanwhile Trump, and Sanders skirt the issue, and let her dig her political grave.

The hypocrisy is profound. Talk about disarming the American people while surrounded by armed guards. Wendy Davis did the same thing. She traced off to the Rio Grande valley expounding abortion to a bunch of Mexican Catholics. You can’t make this up, folks, she really did that! I think Mexican American voters who never voted in the life voted in that election. Their burros voted in that election! She wanted to turn Texas blue. Well, didn’t work, did it. About the only thing she got was the cover of Texas Monthly, and a dollar to take a bus downtown to have a rat gnaw that wart off her face.

Why to politicians make such stupid mistakes? I don’t know. Why don’t catfish have kittens? Why didn’t Hitler paddle across the English Channel, and move into Buckingham Palace. Advisors! Advisors don’t tell what they know is right, they tell what the politician wants to hear, and what they’re paid to say. So Hillary parades around the country with the winds of destiny blowing in her hair, and Trump packs up for the White House.

I saw her ad on TV last night. It was the biggest PR run I’ve seen in years. Absolutely off the mark, but it looked good. Shucks, she even looked good, which is going some because even her young’un doesn’t look good. Frankly, I didn’t know Hillary had saved the planet until I saw that ad. Of course in the end you got to hear, “I’m Hillary Clinton, and I approved this ad.” Gee, I thought that was Bill’s job.

Politics are a paradox. The more you hear the “Stop Hillary” slogan, the more she is raised up. Simple logic: You don’t have to stop someone who’s not going anywhere! See how that works? Same thing happened with the recent video, Cruz is more dangerous than Trump. This cackle babble head in a box explains how Ted Cruz’s beliefs will destroy America, and every single thing he says is in complete concert with the Tea Party! Even called Ted a Constitutional “Originalist.” That’s a new one on me. What’s that? Ted reads the Constitution just as it is? So, I’m supposed to not vote for Cruz based on that?

Hillary is riding on her name right now. People will show up just to look at her. People, crowds will show up to see El Chapo, ok? Notoriety does not equal nomination.   Trump needs to make note of that, too. Cruz is a consummate politician. Trump counts heads, Cruz counts votes, and counts the votes that count. You can stomp around Iowa for a year, and not get the votes you’d get from having one sandwich in L. A. Ask Romney. Got that Utah vote, huh, Mitt?  Ground swell, and grass roots support are important, however. The sheer volume of interest amounts to some votes. Just seeing the name, “Trump” on the ballot is worth something.

Now I want you to notice, with all this information, and input, Hillary will continue to ride the anti-gun train right into the desert. It sounds good. She thinks that’s what everyone wants to hear. She dodges certain issues. If Sanders wants to win, all he has to do is change his name to Bernie Ben Gazi, and she’ll never mention him again. Guns? BANG! The shot heard ‘round the world, and Hillary will fall from the saddle. We saw the end of the Bush era this week. Soon, before this is over, you will see the Clintons ride into the sunset, too. Fifty years from now school children will giggle at their carryings on. We’re not laughing right now.

That Was The Week That Was


Week that was this week started slow. I was battling sinus with Claritin and Aleve, and the ol’ brain wasn’t hooking up, but time marches on. I think my sinus came from a Sunday trip to San Antonio, which I detailed in The Battle of the Alamode. This had a funny, yet serious side. The antics if the grandkids were uplifting, unfortunately the United Nations had moved the Alamo to New York City or somewhere so they were deprived of that first visit. No matter, they hadn’t been taught what the building was all about anyway. I went to HEB and bought a copy of the Billy Bob Thornton movie to educate them, but the movie was overruled by “Teen Titans.”

As you know, Judge Scalia died this week. Actually, I dodged this because I couldn’t connect the dots to Texas, but eventually wrote Judge Scalia Saga when I found out that no autopsy was ordered, and Obama was being, well, Obama. Personally, I don’t see any mystery in his death, but hey folks, JFK got his head blown off in front of thousands of people and even he got an autopsy, albeit illegal because his body was spirited to DC so the CIA could set the results.

Once in a blue, blue moon I actually research a subject and try to be informative. The Great Peace was such an effort. I’ve learned that when I research a subject, and use four syllable words I fail miserably. Jus’ sayin’. All the article was saying was we, as a people, have “been there, done that.” ISIS is no crisis, and it really doesn’t matter who is in the White House, the song remains the same.

After the overwhelming success of that article I retreated to Texas subjects again, and wrote right off the top of my head. Texas Has Survived simply laid out facts that make the Yankees mad, and Texans glad. Texas is an easy subject because Norte’s are so bad. They barrel down here by the plane load just to tell us that we don’t know what we’re doing. Enjoy your brisket, gringos!

After a week of non-events, Donald Trump delivered Cruz a profound butt-stomping and I did a political article analyzing the contenders for the nomination, one not contending anymore as the Bush dynasty died nasty. Slobber and Vote wasn’t kind, but it brought things down to a manageable level with good common sense. I particularly like my last paragraph. It was apparent that the Claritin worked, and I could see my laptop again.

So, as we march toward Super Tuesday with anticipation Texas marches toward divorcing America like an unfaithful wife. I am reminded of the Talking Heads song saying, “Same as it ever was,” but liberals need “Start swimming, or they’ll sink like a stone because times they are a changing!” I get a laugh at all the Hollywood types who swear they’ll leave the US if Trump wins. I’m cool with that, just don’t come to Texas! The liberals have held sway for seven and one-half years, and as it draws to a close they are showing their colors. They put Obama in office because he’s black, and now they are trying to follow up by putting Hillary in office because she’s a woman. And they call me a racist!

In a healthy political environment you can disagree. The actual difference between a liberal and a conservative is about ten percent, but the libtards try to make it seem like conservatives are from another planet. That’s what happens when your kids don’t study the Alamo.

Slobber and Vote


Slobber, vote. When watching politics one must remember that. Donald Trump is unique in politics in that I cannot recall someone not versed in politics coming this close to nomination for the top slot. There is a vast array of contenders, agreed one less this morning. (Bye bye Bush “die-nasty.) There are ideals, prejudice, and historical influences that play into the mix, and folks, that never changes.  I’d like to begin by exploding a myth, and losing a couple million subscribers. Obama didn’t divide the country. WE did! The first black president just removed a band aide, and exposed the innate racism that was always there. (Tip of the hat to Kent Franks.) Politicians use racism, and boys and girls, it works! In Austin there is a painting, “Dawn at the Alamo,” and creeping up behind Col. Travis is a leering, crouching Mexican. Cartoon caricatures of Japanese in WWII had slits for eyes, and huge buck teeth. People are attracted by like people are repelled by UNlike people, to which when they are repelled they will assign attributes to those people, and if they can’t come up with any, a politician will be more than happy to fill in the blanks for them.

Donald Trump is a bell ringer. The general population is just a bunch of Pavlov’s dogs. You ring the bell, they Slobber at the mouth, and they vote. “Hope and change!” Slobber . . . vote! “Free college,” Slobber. . . vote!” “Them Meskins are the whole problem!” Slobber . . . vote!” Is this a bad thing? Not really. You have to get a certain amount of “Slobber, Vote” if you ever expect to gain office. This is how politics works. The trick is to demonize the other guy’s Slobber voters while elevating theirs! All Sanders supporters are a bunch of homosexual potheads, but Trump supporters are all New York stock brokers. See how that works? And all politicians play that good ol’ race card! Oh, they do it low key. They just count heads and demonize the losers by dodging the issue. Sometimes, it’s just a word. “Immigration.” Slobber. . . vote!)

“Oh, Wilbur, you just called most of the voting population a flock of ignoramuses!” Well, yeah. Only about three percent of the voters do so from an informed position. Informed being knowing what they want, and fully aware that any candidate is only going to deliver about a tenth of what they promised, but will go with the lesser of two evils. I don’t even know what the percent of voters are on food stamps, but I’m sure it out numbers the afore-mentioned employed voters, and boys and girls, the welfare vote is not predominantly black! Whites comprise 62.6% of the US population, while black run up to 13.2%. Unless you are a functional idiot you must conclude that the blacks simply do not have the sheer numbers to outrun us crackers down to the welfare office.

There has always been an awareness of our different backgrounds. We need to change “awareness” to “appreciation.” When a person my age even mentions this awareness young people cry, “RACISM,” because they don’t know anything else. They have been trained by their handlers to believe that is the trump card for any discussion, and if they can attach that tag to any candidate you get, “Slobber . . . vote!” While Sanders people are slobbering after “free stuff” Trump supporters are slobbering after Mexicans.

And Hillary. Do you want to know what’ll happen if she gets elected? Exactly what happened the last time she took office. Nothing! This woman has never achieved anything except a date with Yoko Ono. She lost her law license in 2002 for not competing her “MCE” (mandatory continuing education.) Now it’s uh, 2016! She’s a tad out of date, but shucks folks, it’s an Arkansas law license. Hey, Arkansas legal question: If you are married in Arkansas, and divorced in Arkansas, are you still brother and sister? All jokes aside, this woman has never done a thing in her life except marry Bill, and even he had to find a date. She comes up with nice little sound bites before congressional hearings, “What does it matter?” In public she smiles knowingly, but in private cusses like a sailor. I don’t know if she has a drinking problem, but I do know she can’t walk a straight line without falling and bumping her head, but no harm done, there’s nothing vital there. She is falling prey to the same thing that took Jeb Bush out last night; the unbending faith that the machine will pull her through, and it might. Slobber. . . vote!

Ted Cruz. Ted is a wild card. He knows how to play the game. And he’s not playing. If Ted had had his way a couple years ago he’d have put the entire government in the unemployment line. He knows the constitution, believes in God, America, and mom’s apple pie. Naturally he offends gays, illegal immigrants, movie stars, and Michael Moore. While these people have no problem at all with Obama’s lineage, they’re all bent out of shape by Ted’s father, birthplace, and skin tone. Hey, if a witch doctor from Kenya can be president so can Ted. At least he doesn’t believe that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain for Pharaoh. Sorry, Dr. Carson, but you really said that. (Is he still running?) Both Trump and Cruz demonstrate something that’s been coming for a long time. Remember that pendulum I told ya’ll about a long time ago. Well, it’s swinging back to the right. It has to go all the way to the right before it turns around again, and comes back. It never stops in the middle, folks. Slobber, vote! Trump has a huge following, and Cruz knows just how to take it, and run with it. Did anyone say, “Iowa?” And don’t give me that stuff about dirty tricks, or cheating, he just won!

The only way Bernie Sanders will take the nomination is if Hillary dies and her body disappears. If they still have the body, the Democrats will nominate that. Maybe they could elect the body, and just let Bill do the job. That’ll work. Anyway, wanna know why Romney didn’t win? ‘Cause he was a Mormon, that’s why. I pointed that out way back when he through his hat in the ring ink 2011, and years later the MSM tenderly approached that simple fact. Just understand, Sanders won’t win. Those who have ears, let them hear.

Hillary’s got the machine, Trump has the numbers, and Cruz has the know-how. That’s how it really breaks down.  When the gate opens, and the ponies run, you will see lots of sex, lies, and video tape. Hillary will wave aborted fetuses, Cruz will wave the Bible, and Trump will wave his wallet. On the first Tuesday of November the bells will ring, the polls will open, and the population will. . . Slobber and vote. God save the King!

Day Ain’t Over Yet

“Day ain’t over yet.” Jack Palance uttered those timeless words in the movie, “City Slickers.” Last night the numbers rolled in from New Hampshire, and this morning Donald Trump was rolling in them like a pig in slop (sorry Donald, I’m from Texas.) Cruz, Tea Party darling, handed the Donald his face in Iowa, and yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, he cheated, he lied, Ben Carson really won, get over it. Those farmers took one look at Trump, and then Ted’s boots and cast their votes. Then we headed for New England, and those fine folks voted for one of their own. Contrary to my usual approach I am including a graph for the intellectual minded.
I think there were some folks running on the other side of the political spectrum, and I understand they voted for some old hippy whom passed nothing but gas in his three or four decades inside the Beltway, and of course, Bonnie Parker Clinton didn’t do as well as her connections expected. The bad news is she is still walking around free, the good news is that now we know precisely how many potheads there are in New Hampshire.
So let’s take a look at this. Geography lesson: America is made up of regions. I told ya’ll that once, remember? People hanging out on Wall Street have absolutely nothing in common with some guy in California waiting to catch a wave. Human nature: People tend to side with people that look like them. I know, I’m a racist, swat them bees. Between “Thiod and Thoity-Thoid Street, and Long Beach there are literally hundreds of different flavor Americans, and they will go with whomever voices their interests. It’s called, “Politics.” Remember you heard that here first.
I don’t know why Cruz even bothered with New Hampshire. Trump was in his back yard, he talked to the constituency up there and they did what constituents do. As we move across the nation you will see the balance of power rock back and forth, as each candidate parlays to the various special interest groups that buy into whatever flavor they are serving up. Kapish? Trump will get the exact same whipping from Cruz when Texas chimes in as Cruz got in New Hampshire. What makes politics work, boy, is that an oxymoron, politics, work, anyway, I digress, what makes politics seem to work is after it is all said and done, hopefully, we get a reasonably vetted, homogenized candidate that will basically appeal to all groups so as in the end we don’t have a Mosque set up in the White House, or efforts to that effect.
I can call New York, and California because they are galvanized. New York prints the money, Cali spends it. Now places like, say, New Mexico, I’m at a loss. First off, everyone in New Mexico is crazy, that’s why they’re living in New Mexico. What’s that? New Mexico? A new improved Mexico? They don’t have that many Electoral Votes anyway. East California, Arizona isn’t much better, and with places like this it will be a toss-up between Cruz and Trump. Utah will go for either because they are not going to vote for an old hippy or Yoko Ono’s former lover.
The song remains exactly the same. Ted Cruz is a politician, and Donald Trump isn’t. When it comes to a head to head between them where political savvy is required, Cruz will win. Where facts and common sense are required, Trump will take the lead. All the others on that stage the other night, Day is over for them!
Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin



Knockout. In a boxing or MMA match that’s usually the definitive moment. Iowa delivered some surprises Monday. One was Sanders coming on as strong as he did, but the main event was the Cruz/Trump event. I was mesmerized by the crowds at the Trump rallies, and frankly began to wonder why Ted Cruz was running at all. Trump was so confident he told Fox to shove it, doing his own show instead, and left Iowa early. Blame it all on his roots, Ted showed up in boots, and ruined Trump’s black tie affair!
Ok, let’s get to the crotch of this. That’s not a typo, it’s where Ted Cruz kicked Donald Trump Monday! The logic seemed to follow the theory that if you can make a billion dollars then you can run a country. Shucks folks, El Chapo can make a billion dollars. C’mon! As much as we don’t like it, politics is a vocation. Playing the crowd, and working the polls are two different things, and I’m not talking about opinion polls of people who may, or may not vote, I’m talking about people who actually get up and go and vote! Two different critters.
I love it when Trump talks about bombing the Arabs off the map, building the “Trump Wall” on the border, and booting all the Muslims out of the country, but do you really want that guy with his finger on the trigger? Ted Cruz is a master debater, and more than that, he’s a politician! I know that’s a bad word, but hey, we need proctologists, too, ok? He judged, worked, and played the numbers. The right numbers, not the media event.
Of course people will show up in a stadium to see Donald Trump. They’d show up to see Osama bin Laden, that’s just how people are. Everybody wants to get next to a “happening” guy. But, they don’t vote for him. While Trump was playing the crowd, Cruz was playing the numbers, and let’s be up front, Ted Cruz is a Senator! He’s done this before. An underdog who surprised almost everyone, and he surprised everyone but himself on Monday!
So, what’s a Donald to do? Well, he’s not going just dry up and blow away, the man’s a winner. One loss in a game he’s never played before is not going to give Donald Trump PTSD. He’ll hit the other primaries, and let’s look at this as it really is. Trump has drawn interest, if not votes, to issues that we’ve all got to address. We really do have to tighten up the immigration. Islam really is infected with the craziest pricks we’ve seen in a thousand years, and someone really should drop a few nukes on some camels to get the attention of the Middle East. Donald Trump has now made his mark. Ben Franklin never won the presidency either.
And now for the lighter side. In America we have to have a two party system. I mean someone has to run against someone to make it all at least look democratic. Therefore we have the Democrats. Hilliary and Bernie. That race was so corrupt they ended up in some kitchen somewhere flipping a quarter to see who won. They got the quarter from Bill so Hilliary won six out of six, go figure. Hillary won by the skin of her teeth, but no matter, everybody was watching Ted Cruz anyway. The funny thing is that she thinks she’s a powerhouse. This idiot is two horse lengths ahead of the posse and she’s galloping along like she has good sense.

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin