The Equation

There is a life equation, and once you solve it you’ll find happiness. It’s the act of getting your act together, and realizing that the equation is relative to the reaction to circumstances you find yourself in, . Someone waking up in a homeless shelter will think they got it going on because there’s free coffee while a millionaire is irritated because the coffee creamer he likes is out. This is the equation that compares what you want, and what you got, and how you relate to that. You can’t always get what you want, but yiu get what you need. If you want a Mercedes, but you drive a Chevy, and you’re cool with that, you’re good. If you want to stroll into a mall, and shoot everybody wearing a suit, you need a beer! I once had coffee with an old biker in the desert. He had one of those blue chip pots, boiling water on a camp fire with coffee grounds in it. Asked me if I’d like a cup, and I said I would. Poured me a perfect cup of coffee into a metal cup. Then he asked if I liked cream and sugar. I thought this guy was set up so I said I did. He sipped his coffee, looked at the Superstition Mountains, and said, “Yeah, me too.” There was no cream and sugar, but there sure was a memory of days gone by.

There is an old saying, “Where ever you’re at, there you are.” If you’re my age, and wake up in the morning, that’s a big plus. If the lights are still on, and the dog didn’t run off during the night then you’re on a roll. There’s a trick. You can be old, and not “be” old. Willie Nelson says that if you count your blessings through the day it brings your spirit up. And this isn’t positive thinking, it’s the appreciation on reality. Those emotions are attacked by negative impulses, and most of the time those impulses are delivered by people who haven’t worked out that equation I spoke of earlier. Never get answers from someone who still has the chalk in his hand. Consider this: you can’t build by tearing down. You know these people. They’re all around. They have all the problems, but not one solution. I had to recently step away from someone because he woke up screaming, and cussing every morning. Now, I’m an old hippy. My mornings are coffee, cigarette, a little soundscape music, and check my sources for an idea. Some idiot screaming at the top of his lungs because he’s gay, and his boyfriend died three years ago, leaving him penniless is not my idea of a morning. DUDE! I’ve been married six times! I’ve lost my butt so many times it’s a miracle I can still go to the bathroom. Deal with it. I’m not gay, and the only reason I pointed that out is that I’m not politically correct, and it’s funny. His real problem is a failure to solve the equation. He thinks he still looks like Sal Mineo, standing in a bar with his lips sticking out, and he’s a cantankerous old man with an alcohol problem. I’ve noticed that these kind of guys invariably turn up sprawled out in their living room on those reality cop shows. As opposed to this I have diagnosed myself with “Cowboy STD.” What is that? Well, when you’re young imagine your drive as a raging bull inside a corral. At my age, what can’t get up, can’t get out, and I’m cool with that. See, I solved the equation.

As you age you settle down, or you should settle down, rather. Then you have the answers that no one is hearing because they’re still trying to solve the equation. You actually don’t solve the equation, the equation solves YOU! Ever how well you take your medicine dictates how long it takes you to heal. Never ask, “Why did I do that?” You DID it! Shut up and move on. It makes people mad when you do that. There they are in a hurricane, and you don’t even have an umbrella. And they have all these ideas, these negative ideas. And all the self help books won’t help. You want a self help book? Read the Bible. Lotta smart old Jews there, and one guy who wrote the equation.

Always be ambitious. Always strive, but never forget that the ultimate goal is to solve the equation, because once you do that you have the will, and ability to move to the next stage of life. Whatever that stage is, there you are. Savor the moment, because that’s all life is. Life is a series of moments, all strung together, dictated by circumstance, and your answer to that circumstance. E = MC2. Eternity equals My Circumstances times two! And there is an eternity. Depending on what you believe it’s an after life, or its how you affected people you leave behind. In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make. Oh, that and try not to stand around in a gay bar at sixty-seven years old with your lips sticking out. That always helps.

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