Get Obama a Green Card

The CEO of Apple said this weekend that he was against the government slicing through encryption and observing private files of his customers. This all came about because the powers that be want to get yet more power to spy upon Americans in a supposed effort to ward off terrorism. Never mind the long list of failures over the last year or so, as ISIS has its way with the world, if they can just hack into “Plenty of Fish” everything is gonna be OK.
I told you in an article previous this last week that I’d watched some YouTube videos by an ex-cop. Well, in one of those videos he addressed the question about giving your Social Security number to an officer. He explained (for about twenty minutes) all the things the cop knows about you by the time he walks up to your window, the officer is privy to your ID, your car, it’s repairs, your address, your neighbors, your criminal history, the name of your dog, and who your daughter had an affair with last week! Now this is just a beat cop. God help you when the detectives get ahold of you. And all of this is not enough to pick out some guy and gal, dressed in a clown suit, with a trunk full of ammunition, jabbering in Arabic. I feel so protected and served.
I have some ideas that might increase national security. First off, we gotta be a little bit racist. I know, I know, it’s not politically correct, but the good ship reality comes into port when some wench careens all over the Vegas Strip screaming, “Allahu Akbar.” First, don’t let any more Arabs into the country. To the best of my knowledge, during WWII, we didn’t throw the doors open to Germans and Japanese. We even put the Japanese into camps. Shut the front door! We really did that, but you know what? They didn’t find one mass grave when it was all over. We are at war with a whole bunch of little brown people which their heads screwed on backwards. I’ve seen so many ISIS killings that I’ve began to critique them. I actually evaluate the style. I admire the courage of someone on their knees waiting while some guy rants on and on about God knows what, but that’s another story. If you try to put me on my knees, they may get me, but at least one Ali-Babble is gonna share his virgins with me!
As for the southern border. Everyone is so caught up in terrorists coming over the southern border because they look Mexican. I have a solution, and Glenn Beck, I said it first so sit down! Tell El Chappo you will pay $10,000 for every Muslim ear he sends you. Compared to a war the cost will be minimal, and would enhance Mexican/American relations, what with us being more agreeable to the guy who’s really running Mexico.
No welfare for Arab immigrants. They can open a Quickie Mart just like all the rest. If Islam is so great, and they are so smart, then they should be able to outdo the rest of us in no time. Jews coming here after WWII shot right up to the top 50% of the wealth in this country. Surely, they are as smart as the Jews, right? An immigrant is someone who comes to blend into a country, not drag the old country with them, else, why did they leave in the first place? And, finally, we seriously do need to issue Obama a green card.

Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin

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