Now for a little bedtime story. Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there was a kingdom. The subjects prospered, and happiness abounded throughout the land. The king would make speeches which made no sense, but he loved golf and he was politically correct, so only the subjects who could read raised objections on occasion, but were ignored by the rest, who worshipped the king in temples known as Well Fare. They were thus called because those who worshipped there day and night would fare well at the expense of the other subjects who tilled the fields, giving a goodly portion of their crops to the temples in tribute.
But all was not well in the kingdom. Because of the joy, and plenty subjects of other kingdoms wished to come and worship in the temples also. At first it was not so bad, just a few filtering in here and there, but over time it became cumbersome, as many others from many kingdoms wished to partake of the goodst of the land. There was not room in the temples so as to contain the devout. Lo! One day the King called a council. He said, “There are so many worshippers from other kingdoms coming here the land cannot support them all. I shall tell them that they need to stay in their kingdoms and request proper entry, else famine will abound in the land, and the original worshippers shall fall into apostasy.”
“But, your majesty,” returned the advisors, “the border between our kingdom and theirs hath fallen into disrepair, and there is but a barbed wire fence betwixt, and it is down!”
“CURSES!” cried the king. “If I cannot control my own border the subjects will soon realize that I, myself, am from another kingdom, and may depose me, indeed, exile me and I shall lose all my money, and sheep, and goats, but most of all the castle!”
The king retreated in deep meditation, and by and by he devised a plan. He deduced that if the subjects were to be bestowed with the right to be in his kingdom by decree then they would no longer be subjects of another kingdom at all, yea, but subjects of his kingdom, indeed, subjects of the highest caliber! He would baptize them exceedingly. Then, there would be not a need for a border at all, and he could even save the expense of replacing the barbed wire fence.
So the king issued a decree. Henceforth, and forever more, any subject entering his kingdom would by virtue of their audacity itself, would be his loyal subjects, and the subjects previously living in the land would be compelled to fall upon their knees and worship them, even as they had the king!
But, the Kings advisors told him, “The subjects who can read, especially the sect known as the sacred order of Republicus, shall say that Thou art as crazy as the vermin which scamper about the toilette facilities!”
“Nay, nay,” saith the king, for I shall create a diversion, whereupon they shall cast their eyes in yet another direction. I shall undertake a huge crusade which, by the very size of it, shall so occupy their hearts, and minds, they shall not even take note of my plan, indeed, shall occupy themselves in meaningless pondering as my plan unfolds, even under their very noses!”
So it was that the king sent knights throughout the land, hither and yon, and the king was right, the subjects rose in alarm facing not the invading forces streaming over the broken barbed wire fence but observing the knights instead.
“But,” the advisors cautioned, “what if some of the subjects should come about, and observe, and sound the alarm?”
“Nay, nay what do you say?” cried the king, ” for they are too few, and the subjects I duped into worshipping me hath become complacent, and grown fat upon free bread, therefore the alarm will amount to naught!” Then, after a time, the king considered and said, “Yet even so, I shall create yet another diversion in a kingdom far away. I shall cause Repubicus to believe that a religious sect hath become yet so powerful that even lions tremble in their dens, and only our knights shall be able to abate them!”
“But,” the advisors asked, “doest we have that many knights”
“Thou fools,” saith the king, “I shall not really dispatch the knights there. I shall need them to guard the palace here. And, to placate the populace further, I shall tell them that I have a bridge I shalt sell them at a discounted rate!”
“But what about the holy order of the constitution, your highness. It distinctly says that all though doest is contrary to all that the kingdom is built upon?”
The king smiled, and considered his one wood and saith, “You ponder empty things not worthy of your time. They cannot READ!”