The Smoker

The Smoker

The smoker wasn’t anything special. In Texas, however, a side box smoker is the one thing every back porch needs. Without it the porch is just a concrete slab. It looks like a big barrel with a smaller one attached to the side. You put the wood in the little barrel and fire it, and as it burns down the smoke it generates drifts into the larger barrel, and across the meat, never exposing the meat to an open flame. It takes hours to cook anything that way. If you have a brisket it takes all night, and that’s a good thing because the men nurse the fire and the women folk watch the kids, make the extras, and talk about the men. There is always a grill in the small barrel so you can grill sausages as the main course matures. Of course you must have enough beer to get you through the night, even though the get together never goes much past two in the morning. The last man standing throws more wood on the fire and retires for the night. The next morning, usually Sunday, everyone gets up. The fire has dwindled, and the meat is slightly charred. The ladies take it to the kitchen. If you do it right there is a red ring around the inside of the brisket signifying it has been cooked to perfection. You can pluck a piece off with a plastic fork. Custom has it the oldest lady gets first bite. Then the kids, then the adults.

What is left goes into a chili, or a pot of beans. Dogs get the fat. Brisket is just about as sorry a piece of meat you can legally feed to a human being, but a side box smoker will turn it into prime rib. You never clean the smoker. That would be an abomination. Every brisket leaves a bit of itself in the metal. You just “burn it off.” You take a stiff wire brush and scrape the lid to remove the “char” so it won’t fall down onto the meat as you open the smoker to check it. Always cook a brisket with the fat side up so it self seasons. Bar B Que sauce is a no no. Use hickory wood and pour Italian dressing all over it. You don’t need a meat thermometer. If you can pull a piece off with a fork then it’s done. First bite!

There is a spiritual side to a smoker. As it gains age, people come and go. Some die. If you live in Texas you tend to think the departed come back on special days and they, too, sit around the smoker, and commune with family and friends. If you are not a believer then you at least remember the happy times, and great briskets of the past. The children grow up remembering all the times family and friends gathered, the smoke filled the air, and for a little while all was well. And the old, black smoker was always there.

When a smoker is gone you can buy another one, but everyone will always talk about the old one as if it were a family member. Even bitter fights would cease on special days because it took so much to attend to the smoker. Here’s to all the smokers out there. Here’s to all the families, and friends who ate the brisket, drank the beer, and wished the smoker would never go out. Happy Labor day everyone.


The Big Bang and Other Little Pops

The Big Bang and Other Little Pops
Man is a religious creature. It doesn’t matter if you believe in creation, big bang, little bang or Walmart, man has always looked for answers. All groups agree on one thing, believe it or not. It all started somewhere. When you view it logically truths begin to emerge. At one point there was certainly nothing, and at this point there is certainly something. The debate is how did it all got here from there.

All organized religions posit a god, who looks a lot like them, who created everything. Atheists posit natural forces that look a lot like them that by and by made it all go round in circles. Their only problem is who designed the circles. From there you get the sets and subsets on what irritates this god, and what does he appreciate. Oh, and it’s always a “he,” never a she.

The Mormans claim god is a man, like you and me, who looks like Joseph Smith, I guess. The Jews think he looks like Moses, and that follows to the Christians. The Muslims don’t get into that because they don’t like images. The general rule is god looks like whatever belief set you follow.

Then, there’s the nuts. Yeah, I’m gonna go there. Before I do let’s have a lecture on holy books. They’ve all got a holy book. The Jews have the Torah. The Torah is actually five holy books, because supposedly that’s all Moses wrote before he lost his contract. Some history, some rules, a little math, pretty good book. Depending on how tightly they wind that little string around their head, you know, the one with the box on it, anyway, ever how firmly attached that thing is will dictate their level of fervor for the faith. The ones that are really out there go to Jerusalem and bang their head on this huge wall until god talks to them. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

On top of that wall is a big ol’ dome. Inside that dome is a rock. I’m not kidding, a real rock. They even got a fence around it. Around that fence is a bunch of guys who get MAD if you look at the rock sideways. Now these guys who control that rock think that Abraham put his kid on it and god told him to kill him. Before it was all over god relented, and Abraham had lamb chops instead. (Lucky kid!) Everything holy supposedly happened on that rock. I’m not saying its not a nice rock, but c’mon, it’s a rock, ok?

Then, there’s the Christians. There are as many Christian belief sets as there are stars in the sky, or is that children of Abraham, I don’t know. Anyway, that’s the three big religions springing from the Holy Land. Now the only these groups all agree on is they wish the other two would go away. The Christians want you to convert, the Jews just want you out of Israel, and the Muslims, well, they have a more direct approach, but we won’t go there for now.

The three main groups, Jewish, Muslim, and Catholic are pretty well set in their beliefs. Then here comes the Americans! Land of the free, home of the brave, and fertile ground for every nut with a Bible. Before I get into this next part I want to make it clear that there are good, Bible believing Christians out there. I’m just after the funny ones. Ones like the Westboro Baptist Church. These holy relics parade around the country protesting funerals. They would have protested Mother Theresa’s funeral if they could have afforded the air fare. They line up across the street and chant and yell ass mourners file out with their loved one. Most of the time the Westboro Baptist Church turns into the Church of the Eternal Ass Whooping at these events.

From here we go to the south and find snake charmers. These guys kiss rattlesnakes. Now, I’m just a simple ol’ boy from Austin, but my mama told me to never kiss a snake. You see, there’s this passage at the end of the gospel of Mark that says if the Lord is with you then the snake won’t bite, and if he does he’ll just slip you the tongue and you’ll be alright. It also says you’ll be the only one walking out of Jonestown licking your lips. If they ever looked into it they would find that those passages were ADDED years later. Can you imagine Jesus saying, “I am the truth, and the light…now go out and kiss a snake!” Yet, not a year goes by that some snake don’t kiss back and some preacher pounds on the pearly gates. See, when you get bit in the lips, you have to put a tourniquet around your neck…well, just saying.

Then there’s them little groups that spring up here and there. Usually ten or less, say nine girls and a guy, and guess what Jesus told THEM to do? It wasn’t kiss a SNAKE! They’re kissing something altogether different. Mix in a little weed, a little wine and you got SALvation. These churches usually last until the first paternity suit, and the Lord moves on.

Come to the last, which is one guy, with a Bible of course, who has the end of the world all figured out. And there ain’t no room for discussion cause he’s got de LAWD! These guys usually don’t have many, if any followers because they’re too crazy even for the snake charmers off in Arkansas. They are out to convert humanity one woman at a time. Pay the rent, no problem, end of the world. Get a job, end of the world. Watch TV …END OF THE WORLD! What they don’t see is Jesus never said, “End of the world,” He said, “End of the AGE!” See, there’s these twelve signs of the zodiac running so many years, but that’s not what they see in their King James.

If you digest Jesus’ words you find a pretty astute old boy who just about boiled down the Torah into a workable document. He changed the world in about three years and did it on foot. Two thousand years later his detractors are still trying to prove he didn’t just get up and walk out of His grave like He had good sense. I pretty much subscribe to Jesus. I just don’t agree with all His handlers that have shown up. I do like the nine girls, though.

The Court of Public Opinion

The Court of Public Opinion

Pubic opinion is a funny thing. When you have celebrity, public opinion can make or break you. It can paint you as the greatest thing since sliced bread, but it can also demonize you beyond repair, and nothing about public opinion approaches the truth. So it is with Will Hayden.

Will has a gun shop. Left alone he’d probably be building and repairing guns for the rest of his life. There is nothing extraordinary about Will, but as luck would have it some Hollywood producers came upon him and thought his little gun shop would make a good reality show for the Discovery Channel called “Sons of Guns.” Now gunsmithing is pretty boring stuff. Not as boring as stamp collecting, but right on up there in the top five. So, in order to make the show rock Will had to build bigger guns, set off bigger explosions, yell and holler a lot more. Throw in the mix a daughter who could melt the wax off a Dixie Cup at one hundred yards, and, oh yes, they all lived in southern Louisiana. Shades of “Southern Comfort” Cable channels do that. They can take a crazy old Bible beater who makes duck calls and make him an international sensation. PUBLIC OPINION!

A man who started by adjusting firing pins on customer’s pistols, and ended up on TV selling Ted Nugent a tank is invariably pro second amendment. Now before I go on I know Ted Nugent didn’t have anything to do with a tank in that segment but I’m a writer and I’m taking a little bit of literary license here to make a point so bear with me, ok. Since Will is pro second amendment, wouldn’t you think there are a few folks out there that are NOT pro second amendment, and would like it if Will would just go away? This is where the force of pubic opinion swings the other way.

People have relationships. With or without marriage, men and women, and for God’s sake let’s just keep it simple for now, co-habitate, and develop relationships all the time. They also separate all the time. Without the bond of marriage the breakup is a lot easier than divorce court. Suppose you take a woman who is living with a man who suddenly found himself very well off, with connections in Hollywood and the world is his oyster. Now suppose that man tells her to, “Get lost!” Just how do you think she’s going to take that? Do you think she may be just a bit perturbed? Don’t you imagine she would be looking at the very real possibility of one day having an unlimited American Express and the next having to get an extension on the electric bill? What’s a girl to do?

I’ve seen this happen more times than I care to count. Enter the pre-teen daughter. Oh, I see the hair rising on the back of some liberal necks right now, but hear me out. All that little girl has to do is say, “He touched me THERE!” Now here’s where public opinion comes in. If it were Joe Blow the cops would get involved, there would be an investigation, and either the story would gel, or it wouldn’t. Cops aren’t stupid. Looking at the entire situation they will home in on the root cause of the complaint. Was there a true offense, or is it something more? Between forensics, and questioning of all parties, the truth will most likely emerge, but you see, Joe Blow is not Will Hayden. Joe losing his job down at the plant doesn’t have near the clout as Will being drummed off of TV with all those awful guns he loves so much. And if Will Hayden is a pervert, liberal logic only goes to follow that ALL pro second amendment advocates are perverts and if you don’t think the liberal left will play that card have I got a bridge for YOU!

I am not attacking a little girl here. Calm conversation with a good doctor, and an examination will most likely return the truth. You can’t brow beat an little girl. But look at the character here. Ignore the TV hype. Will is a gun smith. He is a business owner. He has a TON of money now. He lives near New Orleans. Do you really think a man like that can’t find a date? Do you really think he’d risk everything he has, and his family has to fool around in his own back yard. Hey, maybe he will, but does it go round in circles?

The complaint HAS been made. Will HAD to be arrested, and the police WILL follow through. Will even understands this, but he is a realistic man and he knows there is no acquittal in the court of public opinion. The court of public opinion is the perfect venue for the liberal left. Don’t worry about the facts, ignore the constitution, and get a big plug for their political agenda. They don’t give a FLIP about that little girl. These people kill unborn babies, for Christ’s sake! But Will Hayden is stuck. He will forever be a pedophile, and “Sons or Guns” is history. If he is innocent, and survives this event, he will forever be the old pervert in the minds of millions of people no matter what the facts prove to be. Did anybody say, “Michael Jackson?”

A Little Bit of Texas Justice

Little Bit of Texas Justice

I’m always amused when the Nortés are exposed to our Texas ways. They always miscatagorize (my word) Texas by putting it in the south, or calling it southwest. Texas is neither. Texas is Texas. We made this very clear when we annexed the United States back in 1846. We knew the Yankees were a bunch of screw ups, but frankly, we thought we could straighten them out. I’m sorry to say but we failed. You can’t fix stupid.

We march to a slightly different drummer down here. Texas common sense is legendary. Little things like drunken DAs, and gun laws get viewed with a jaundiced eye. We take complicated issues, mix them with a little brisket and beer and voila! Common sense! Now common sense doesn’t sit well with some people, especially people from say, California, who subscribe to just about anything so long as it’s weird and they can blow a joint while doing it. Men marry men, women marry women and dogs marry cats. All’s fair in Californication. And they make fun of US! I hate to be the one to tell them, but we stopped dragging people behind pickups a long time ago … well, mostly.

So, I give to you the case of the accident down near Houston about two years ago. Man pushing his car on a country road with his two sons, ages ten and twelve or so, and a drunk driver comes along, hits the car and kills the two boys. Now this was just a regular drunk driver so Lehmberg immunity did not apply in this case. Anyway, to make a long story short, the father shoots the drunk driver, and he shot him good ’cause he died! Saved Harris county a ton of money. Well, as luck would have it there were charges filed on the father and the case had to go to trial. Lots of talk in court about right and wrong, and the letter of the law, you see, that’s how lawyers work. They will bamboozle a jury with word games, telling them, “You MUST do this, or you MUST do that,” and that they need to throw common sense out the window because “de book say…” Well, the district attorney only forgot one tiny detail. He was in Texas! The jury packed it in his kazoo by rendering a “not guilty” verdict. Of course the DA came out, rubbing his butt telling the press that he wouldn’t have taken the case to court had he not believed it was winnable.

I want to kiss every ONE of those jurors on the lips! Texas justice! Folks, I hate to be the one to tell you this but justice is not in a book. Justice resides in the human heart. A man lost his two sons. He will never get over that. There are some things a man should never get over. The drunk deserved to be shot…by a firing squad! The message is plain and simple; we don’t play that in TEXAS! In the perfect world we will vet our DAs a tad bit better.

Guns, Dogs, and Little Girls

Guns, Dogs, and Little Girls

Let me begin by reminding you that I’m an old bastard. What makes it worse is that I’m an old Texas bastard, and that ranks high in the field of bastardism. Now the reason I’m telling you this is because as I was scanning the news for ideas this morning, a whole slew of gun stories popped up. I always check out ABC news because they are so liberal I have no problem finding humor there, and that way, when I write, I don’t have to think much, which is good for seven AM.

They soak their stories with gun stuff. Never where some teenage boy saves his little sister from rape by using his father’s gun, oh no, that would not support mothers against everything but unprotected sex with a donkey. Always something way out in left field (you notice how I threw in that word “left” there. That’s subliminal, but I’m from Austin, and I’m not supposed to know them things). Anyway, always out in left field, and if the story isn’t, then by golly they’ll put it there. Two cases in point.

Some gun instructor gives a nine year old girl an Uzi at a range out in Arizona, and stands behind her teaching the little future homemaker the proper way to operate a machine gun. Ok, this is the old Texas bastard part. While while all the gays, liberals, democrats, and social workers are recoiling in abject horror, I’m already laughing my Texas butt off! Now, I’m pro second amendment, ok, but why in God’s creation would you feel it necessary to teach Shirley Temple how to use an Uzi? C J Grisham, put you hand down! For the unenlightened, guns have a “kick.” You’ve all seen Dirty Harry fire off that Smith and Wesson, and it flies up in the air, well that’s “kick.” The pistol he supposedly fired really doesn’t jump that bad, especially since Clint was using blanks, with the audio added later in the studio, but it looks good on film. Anyway, I digress. Little girl with an Uzi. I’m sorry folks, I’m still laughing. So, he locks and loads this thing, points sweet cheeks down range, stands behind her and she let’s it fly. When ol’ Clint shot that forty-four it went BOOM and the gun rose up as he drew the hammer back for his next shot. When the little girl pulled the trigger on the Uzi It went BOOM ity BOOM ity BOOM BOOM BOOM! Each round sent the gun higher, and higher, up and over, until it was over her head, pointing up, right where the instructor was standing, observing his pupil, and in short order he was walking the streets of glory, and all the angels were laughing THEIR butts off!

Now this is funny folks, I don’t care who you are. The gun rights folks have leaned so far to the right that I think their brain shifted, not as far as that instructor’s brain shifted, but pretty far. We should teach our kids about guns, just like we should teach them about tool safety, food safety and safe sex, but there is a vast gulf between teaching a little boy how to operate a saw and giving him the keys to a Mac dump truck! On the other side of the spectrum, i.e. mothers against whatEVER, they need to understand that the world is a dangerous place and kids need to know that, and guns have a place in that dangerous world. I listened to some 911 calls yesterday and MOST of them were the caller pleading with the operator while he or she hid in the closet waiting for the intruder to find them. Wonder what their take was on gun control in those final moments? Let’s move the barometer back a few bars. No Uzis for Shirley Temple!

Next case. Some guy in California took to shooting people in cars. Killed one, shot up a bunch or others and killed two DOGS! The police “suspect” he may have been a serial killer. Being California, they really got pissed off over the dogs, giving them equal billing with the GUY who got killed. California has gun control out the ying-yang. California has POCKET KNIFE control! So how in the world did some nut go parading around popping shots from the exit ramp? The rule is so simple. When you try to control everything, in the end you control nothing. Look at most, if not all the mass shooters over the last few years. They have many things in common. First off, most were a HELL of a shot. From Charles Whitman to that clown looking guy in Colorado, these folks can shoot. Also, most of the time the guns used were acquired legally. Even Lee Harvey Oswald got his gun legally, and oh, by the way, he was a hell of a shot, too. You can legislate guns until the cows come home and the guns don’t care. You have to legislate the nut BEHIND the gun if you want to control guns. You can lay a gun on a table and scream orders at it until you are blue in the face, and I’ll assure you that gun will pay you no mind. But if you fix, or neutralize the sick individual you’ll save that poor gun’s reputation. I hear it all the time. “Well, so and so DID have this disorder, and he WAS given enough medication to tranquilize a horse, but we didn’t deem him to be dangerous.” Save the mentally ill…SHOOT the psychiatrist!

Guns are tools. No more, no less. There will always be mishaps, killings and yes, a few stories where one gun that saved lives. Do you think it would be wise to disarm the police? Then, when they see a serious crime being committed what can they do? Shout, “STOP! Or I’ll say, ‘Stop’ again!” In conclusion, what do you get when you cross a Mother against guns with an open carry advocate? A little girl in Arizona with an Uzi!

The Butcher Shop

The Butcher Shop

Sometime in the near future I will be making a move. We have a home in the Salt Lake Area with a studio and office that will just about replace what we lost in Berry Creek. Beautiful views of the mountains, within reach of Vegas and LA, and not so blasted hot! Of course, we will maintain a place here in Texas. I am NOT deserting the Texas movement and will commute to Austin when necessary to rile up the natives.

In Berry Creek we had three very large homes on the same street, the main one built in the style of Graceland. One of the living areas was a sound stage where we filmed videos. Then, there was a studio upstairs in the media room, where we recorded several albums and even audio books. We remixed all this mess in a large office on the first floor, and reviewed the rushes on a deck overlooking the tenth green of an Arnold Palmer golf course. The other two homes on the same street were filled with guests and artists who came by to work with us. Frankly, it took all this to create the web presence needed to generate income. We also sold Real Estate from there. Well, as my close friends all know this environment was not conducive to raising children so the CPS came along and fixed all that and before it was all over I was publishing out of the “Hotel Cartel” in beautiful downtown Killeen, Texas!

But, you know what? When you have put together something like that you tend to be able to do it again. In fact it’s a little like having a garage that you always meant to clean up, and never found the time, and then one day the house burns down. There are two kinds of people in the world. The kind who come home to see the firemen, find a shopping cart and hit the streets, and then there are people like me who say, “That’ll work! Let’s build it bigger and better.” It’s what’s within YOU that makes it, not circumstances, and this ain’t no self help crap, this is the TRUTH!

Fact is I had a hard time seeing the forest for the trees from the Berry Creek Country Club, but sitting in the patio of a crack hotel in Killeen, listening to Bob Dylan gave me a vision. I’d sit there with a bottle of Jim Beam and contemplate. I really couldn’t write much because every time I’d go to sleep the crack heads would steal my computer and sell it for a rock. I bought a gun to shoot ’em, and they stole that TOO! So, I saw very clearly I had two choices. Get on crack, or figure this out. Now, I’m not saying I can put away a lot of Jim Beam, but the month after I switched to beer Jim Beam sold out to the Japanese. And I’d love to tell you I cleaned up, saw the light, and became an inspiration to girl scouts everywhere but that just didn’t happen. I’ve been in music production at the publishing level from Austin to Nashville for over forty years and I threw those rose colored glasses in the trash can years ago!

With the help of folks like Doc Greene, and Tom Hagen I moved into political writing. I didn’t know it, but over the years I’d developed a fairly profound political stance and I was LITERATE, and god knows where THAT came from. My attitude was all the little girly-men running around with their half baked ideas on society were all very fine, but I LIKE a steak and egg breakfast at a country club and i know that those ideas won’t buy it! So, I began to boil complex social issues down to basic components. I became “A Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin!” My brother gave me a lecture a year ago about my having never LIVED in Austin, but I’ve stayed in hotels there so the name stays. I also realized my mother obviously picked up the wrong baby at the hospital so I haven’t spoke to him since. Haven’t spoke to my sister either ’cause she sided with him!

My good buddy, Ted Clevenger, who is a psychologist, worked with me for a couple of years because after all the nonsense I’d been through I was fairly crazy, and after he cured all my homicidal leanings a style began to emerge. When we had to spirit the kids out of Texas because the CPS didn’t like their haircuts we ended up with a very large place up in Utah. Big office, view of the mountains, studio, calm people all around, it was great. I resisted going there because I WAS from the Austin area and I was very enthralled with the Texas Nationalist Movement. Well, frankly folks, sitting on a ten by ten porch with an iPad ain’t gonna make it. In order to generate the volume of material needed to make the Republic of Texas happen one has to write, and one has to write LOTS! You have to generate something great every day with the full knowledge that tomorrow what you wrote today will be fish paper, so you have to do better. If you can’t do that then you’re just a talking dog, do NOT quit your day job!

And, in the long run I’m not really leaving Texas. When we win the Republic of Texas will include what is now Utah AND California. (How’s THAT for ego?) I’m gathering friends and associates from all over Texas and California, not to mention Utah, and I’m going to form a publishing company that I’ll call the “Butcher Shop” in line with my nick name, “Bill the Butcher” which the Texas CPS has so lovingly bestowed upon me, and in the words that I listened to at the Hotel Cartel years ago, “We’ll soon shake your windows, and rattle your walls because times they are a changing!”

Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?

Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?

I read the most amazing news story this morning. France up and dissolved the government and started over again. No civil war, no rhetoric, no Mike Wallace. Seems the socialist government didn’t make any money last year so the prime minister just said, “Ok, we quit. Y’all do something else,” but of course he said it in French.

I pointed something out last week, but it just flew by. Back in 1861-65 Abraham Lincoln instituted the civil war, and 680,000 deaths later he “preserved” the union while beating up half of it. I pointed out that concerning slavery England just passed a law. Of course for his mighty effort Lincoln got his brains blown out, and his secretary of war (who looked like ZZ Top) uttered those immortal words, “Now, he belongs to the ages!” Thank GOD!

It is astounding that the constitution, a document of utter simplicity, could be so perverted in just over two hundred years. A simple foundation of how a government, any government should act became so complicated that it takes constitutional lawyers, and of course seven judges to explain it all to the rest of us as to what it really means. The founding fathers clearly separated in their minds the difference between the country and government. The country is the people, the land, the economy while the government is whomEVER is at the state house voting on matters that concern all of us.GENERAL matters, NOT what we say, do or think! It doesn’t matter if that government is democrat, republican, or an Apache tribal council so long as it adheres to the basic rule which is the constitution. How simple is that?

When a public official takes an oath of office he or she swears that they will, “Preserve, protect, and defend the constitution of the United States,” no matter WHAT philosophy they may subscribe to. They can be an out and out socialist so long as they support the rules laid down by that original document. For that matter, Barak Obama IS and out and out socialist who doesn’t have the integrity of the now unemployed French Prime minister.

Think of of it this way. If tomorrow morning the entire American government stepped down, or at least the present administration, what would happen? Well, the speaker of the house would take the reins and the congress would just figure it out. That’s all. Dare say we just may discover that we don’t NEED some ego-maniac in the White House pursuing his pipe dream of Utopia. Just have a congress elected by the people and the lead dog gets to slam that big hammer down whenever everyone needs to get back in their seats. Kinda like elementary school.

Of course there would be some changes. For one we would need a declaration of war before we made war. We wouldn’t have to sift through dozens of executive orders because some guy in the White House got his shorts in a knot, and we wouldn’t have to listen to his wife’s opinion on ANYTHING! Kinda like a democracy. We would probably pull all our troops back and position them along OUR borders, which is where they’re SUPPOSED to be in the first place, and those little religious groups over THERE would just have to fight it out, and may the best man win. Just don’t bring that mess over HERE!

The AMERICAN congress would worry about making it easier for AMERICAN business to DO business instead of allocating billions to some make believe country that was prefabricated and designed to rile up the natives, and the police would be directing traffic instead of shooting kids down for jay walking. WOW! What a country! And whatEVER that congress did would have to follow the basic rules put down by that simple ol’ constitution. The Congress wouldn’t worry about gun control because the constitution says, “Hands off,” and the local sheriff would handle the rest. (Just like that wild west you liberals keep talking about!)

Of course we’d have national corporations trying to make money hand over fist and there would have to be people going to work so these companies survive, but you have to take the good with the bad. IF some ideology decides to come over here and blow up a couple of our buildings then the congress would meet, and vote, declare that we need to make a war on these cowards (tip of the hat to chief Dan George) and we would sent an army over to blow up their COUNTRY, and then we’d just come home and leave them to clean up the mess. Maybe put a monument in front of the Pentagon saying, “Do you want some of this?” If any country wants to run their country under some code of ethics that’s just plain WEIRD then they won’t be seeing any American tourists buying rugs there because we have Hawaii, and THOSE girls don’t wear BURQUAS!

Now this is all fantasy. We all know you can’t run a nation on simplicity and common sense. God forbid if we all got up this morning and the biggest thing on our minds was a church drive to get items out to California to aid AMERICANS who just suffered the worse earthquake in twenty-five YEARS. And taking some of that surplus money we no longer send to other countries to buy bullets to shoot back at us, and put into a real national health system, oh no, that would never work, but wouldn’t it be loverly?

Big Wheels a Rollin

Big Wheels a Rollin

Governor Perry just made the statement that he couldn’t assure that ISIS hasn’t penetrated the Texas border yet. Now, I’m just a simple ol’ boy from Austin, but if you ask me, if a seven year old kid can slip across the border then an Arab terrorist shouldn’t have much of a problem. And I don’t want to hear that they’re not all Arabs. If they have a rag on their head and their language sounds like a coughing fit then they’re Arabs, ok?

Let’s take a look across the border. You won’t have to look long because there’s a traffic jam. Back in the day Pablo had the common decency to sneak across the river. Now you’d think you were looking a a scene from the Alamo! We could charge a five dollar surcharge down there and pay off the national debt. Ok, got that image? Now I want you to turn around one hundred and eighty degrees and look behind you. See those trucks? Not the ones heading away from you, the ones coming AT you. Well, those trucks are filled with Arab fellers.

They come in from Canada. They run up and down the interstate, stopping at truck stops owned by other Arabs and they deliver folks of their persuasion to cities all across the country. Pablo is coming over to pick oranges. They are coming over to pick a building.

How many do you think it would take to disrupt a major city. A city say like Houston? Well it would take about ten. Take down a water supply, blow up a police station, or perhaps just hang out behind the scenes in a town like Ferguson and stir things up a bit, hmmmmmmm? Ten in Houston, ten in LA, ten in FERGUSON! Don’t take much.

And the attack is so clandestine you don’t know who to attack. Building goes down and we get all politically correct, jump on KhanStupidStan, and the real problem is right HERE! Under our very noses, and has been for years. So, the next time you’re at a rest stop, and you see a truck parked, with a bunch of guys hanging around looking lonely, do the Texas thing. Offer em a beer and a ham sandwich, and if they refuse, take note!

When The CPS Comes a Calling

When Confronting the CPS

I was drawn into a conversation today, and I can’t reveal it’s content, but I felt it necessary to recount some rules I’ve learned. Now this is not legal advice. It is just common sense. Still, I think it would be well for people to read these words and heed them.

First off, when the CPS comes a calling do NOT fall into the trap that they are there to help ANYTHING. This is a red herring they are trained to use in order to gain confidence and entrance into your home. They are task masters at playing the “kitty cat” until they have control, and then they show the tiger they were all along. They don’t give a flip about your kids! Their only concern is filling the quota provided by the menus filled out by professional foster parents waiting in the wings to have their order filled.

Next, NEVER let them in the door. They will lie! If you do not see a search warrant or court order they have no right to abridge the fourth amendment of the constitution. This has been affirmed by Gates vs Texas. They will tell you they will be right to come back and take your kids. Don’t you believe it. If you were doing something that bad they would have that order. There has to be a clear danger to children.

Do not sign any so-called “safety plan!” You are not required to and that paper has no basis in law! That case caseworker MAYBE has some college in social work but she DOES have training in twisting facts, lying, and getting children to customers as fast as possible. When you conform by signing a safety plan you empower that case worker to proceed to step two, which is to make SURE you can never succeed in any plan concerning your children. Psychologically it puts you on a guilt trip. If you are normal the presence of the case worker makes you think you have done something wrong, and signing that paper codifies it in your subconscious. When you can’t live up to it you will feel as if you somehow “failed” as a parent. And that “judge” (and I use the term loosely) sitting there in family court knows just about as much about law as a school librarian. They most likely have never read the constitution and if they have they don’t believe it applies in their court. They serve a “higher calling.” It’s all about the children!” (Yeah, RIGHT!)

Immediately distrust anyone who urges you to cooperate with the CPS in any way. You don’t have to jump up in their face, just know. Just remember the Godfather’s advice to his son, Michael. “The one who comes to you with a deal…HE is a traitor!” Even if your lawyer tells you this just follow the money, and if the lawyer is a litem ANYTHING in his title then he makes his living from CPS cases just like YOURS! An honest lawyer will tell you the object of the game is to get the kids out of CPS as fast as possible.

Home studies are a sham. Safety plans are a sham. Parental classes are a sham. Psyche tests are all a sham. These are done by contractors on the payroll of the CPS. Drug tests too. This is a favorite of caseworkers. Even if you pass the test with flying colors that case worker will stand up in family court and say, “We understand that, you honor, but we have concerns ‘at this time.”

Document everything. This won’t do any good because the judge and the case worker are in bed together, but it’ll give you something to do. From the very first moment of contact with the CPS you must ask yourself. What are your children worth to you? Are they worth your job? Your home. The life you’ve built in the town where you grew up? When CPS comes calling your life will be forever changed, make no mistake, especially if your children are marketable. If they miss you the first time they WILL be back.

Public schools, Head Start, and all hospitals are input portals for product for the CPS. That doctor you’ve seen for years has a nurse who is just itching to call her best friend, the case worker, to get your kids GONE! That school teacher has her on speed dial. Do not trust these people.

If the CPS takes your kids you will become one of the fallen. That’s why it is so important not to let that happen. If your children are removed the CPS has invested the time and money in what they consider to be a viable product. The order has been filled. Getting them back will be like trying to negate a closed real estate deal. This is a harsh reality. This is why it is fruitless listening to case after case of people who have lost their kids to CPS. It’s like listening to dead people. I am one of the fallen, myself. I rarely share my story because it makes no difference. I share what I’ve learned hoping it will save someone from having to walk a mile in my shoes.

This is horrible, isn’t it? Yes it is. That’s why people, such as myself, are fighting every day not to just change CPS but to end it! The death toll of foster children is horrendous. One child…ONE, is too many. The sight of a broken mother is more than i can stand. This is not legal advice, it’s HUMAN advice. What do you do when someone grabs for your very heart? The most sacred part of your life at the beck and call of a machine that fills orders more efficiently than any McDonalds you’ve ever seen.

The Mind of the Artist

You Will NEVER Understand The Mind Of An Artist

    The complexity of a mind that moves in the world of the abstract is unfathomable. People who see patterns that no one else can see, and can point out those patterns to others are rare. Sometimes their vision doesn’t become clear until long after their death, and the rest of us catch up to the plateau their mind was on all the time. Some call them crazy, and maybe they are. Many go unnoticed their entire lives, and even after, and are never recognized. Quick recognition is dangerous, too. People swept into the public eye by production machines who have really nothing to offer come and go all the time. The flavor of the beans has nothing to do with the can. Mass media machines can make a pretty can, but when opened the first time people find no beans worth eating. The problem these days is that people will eat any bean that comes along no matter how tasteless. Most of you will drive right past a mom and pop grill on our way to McDonald’s. The true artist is rare. You get one Tupak, and a thousand empty cans of beans that try to imitate him.

    This is why you get perverts and drug addicts who have “hits” and then, as their real personality comes forth the world sees what is really there it stands back shocked and amazed. What happened? Nothing. The truth just came out, that’s all. I’ve never heard a Brittany Spears song because I don’t think there’s anything there. However, there are people out there who hang on her every song, just like that Cyrus girl. I have watched Hannah Montana because I’m an old pervert, but I really wasn’t impressed by the musical content. These two are not artists! They are the product of a corporate structure designed to grind out “product” and wouldn’t  know real talent if it ran up and pissed on their legs.

    Now for the real artists. Hank Williams. When he came along Acuff/Rose was just figuring out how to sell records from an old church in downtown Nashville. Hank had talent, drive, style and a drinking habit that would make a modern psychologist faint! He also had a marriage that was rockier than the shores of Maine. He “crossed over” to pop when his “Cold Cold Heart” was recorded by a mainstream singer. With all respect to the rap artists out there let’s all come back in fifty years and see how many people are still recording YOUR songs!

    Real artists are like super novas. Super novas have two things you should be aware of. If you get too close you get burned, and they eventually go out with a bang! Real artists almost always do that. The fire burns so hot that it invariably burns friends and family and in the end the muse leaves and then they leave. Please note Robin Williams.

    Not all of these people get their fifteen minutes of fame.  Most live lives of obscurity only appreciated by family and a few friends. They still burn brightly and burn out, but leave no public trail and the muse simply moves somewhere else. Inspiration is a spirit. Have you ever heard of simultaneous  inspiration? That’s where two artists come up with practically the same idea at the same time. Amazing, isn’t it? And the idea seems to just “pop” into their heads. This is because we really don’t understand where inspiration comes from. The complexity of the brain is beyond medical science no matter what your doctor tells you.  As a songwriter I can tell you that everything I hear or see goes into a great file somewhere in my head and I can access that file any time I want. But the initial idea for anything just comes out of nowhere, and that’s the part we will never understand.

    My daughter in law, Jackie was a super nova. I watched her over her life develop from a clumsy little girl to a fairly consummate YouTube artist. I will not bore you will details but I will say I stood too close, got burned, and she burned out. She got cross ways with the Child Protective Services and what you got was what happens when you put an organization with no imagination with someone who was all imagination. She was never recognized for her talent but her behind the scenes efforts are still rippling today. Her ideas were revolutionary. One day I’ll tell you some of those ideas because you won’t believe me right now.

    You will never understand the mind of the artist. It is impossible. You can only understand what they explain to you. You will never know where it comes from. Just eat the beans.  If they’re good, you’ll know, but you’ll never know why. Jackie’s spirit lives. You can see it when we all get together and her name comes up.  People who didn’t know her just sit there, and those of us who stood close to the nova just let them taters pass by.