Full Color Man
I made a comment today on Facebook, in public, where I proclaimed myself to be a racist. I can tell you frankly that it was an exhilarating experience. I haven’t felt that good since I divorced my second ex-wife. Ever since Shaft entered the White House the standard attack on anyone disagreeing with the Liberal Democratic flawed political theory has been to label the person a racist. Now being called a racist is a catch 22. One has to immediately try to claim they cannot see color while staring right at it. And the rules identifying a racist are as complex as an Emeril recipe. If you identify any race you’re a racist. If you dislike Obamacare, you’re a racist. If you use the word Kool Aid, and you’re white you’re a racist. By the way, when did Kool Aid become a black thing. I like Kool Aid. Does this mean I can’t drink it any more? If you write any article such as this one addressing the issue head on you’re a racist. Ok! I’m a racist!
Know what? Ain’t nothing you can do about it but hate on me. What are my real feelings about race? Actually I don’t care. Do I think white people are somehow better, more intelligent, or more elevated than other races? Whitey please! All I got to do is look at my family to know that boat don’t float. Prejudice is where you use a prearranged set of criteria that you automatically place on a group, or culture ignoring any positive input you may get beyond that preconceived model. Not only am I a racist I am prejudiced against one group of people. People from California. I mean, I like the sun and wine, and I even like to talk with them, but I wouldn’t want one of them to marry my sister.
People like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have made careers driving wedges between people. They are relighting the Civil War (from the Hamptons.) On the other side of the political spectrum Dr. John David Manning lives in Harlem. I get a lot of entertainment out of Jackson. He is so unfamiliar with the English language that Tim Conway Jr. actually has a radio game where he plays a clip of Jackson talking and the first caller who can correctly identify what he was trying to say wins! Typical line is something like, “Ala aka relle ruh ruh ruh,” and I think he was trying to say, “White folks are bad.”
In the 70’s I wrote my first published song. It was for a soul group. Boy, I dated myself there, didn’t I. It was called, “Full Color Man.” The tag line was, “In a black and white world I’m a full color man.” I AM a full color man. I simply appreciate the differences in all people, and I don’t kiss their asses to do it. Do I date black chicks? No. I like five foot Scottish chicks, so, yes, I must be a racist.
The good news is that most thinking people see through this crap. People like Dr. Manning, Byron Antoine Wesley and Tommy Sotomayor have a firm grasp on this racist nonsense and they are all as black as a cup of coffee! They are not the only ones. By proclaiming myself a racist I have freed myself from the shackles of ignorance. I’ve taken the sword from the hands of small minded liberals who can’t formulate a viable argument and it gives them some sort of sexual release to call a guitar player from Austin a racist. Hey, I’ll take any sex I can get, ok?
One such person challenged me with the racist title not long ago. I had said while it was true that all men are created equal, time and tears will invariably make one more equal than the other. Bada bing bada boom…here come da racist card! So, I put forth a situation for my liberal friend’s consideration, and I did this carefully because she was cute and I was trying to get her drunk at the time. Yeah, I’m a Chauvinist, too. Anyway, I proposed to her two babies being born in the same hospital on the same day. Then I told her to leap forward twenty years. One became a team leader in a large call center while the other peddled crack in continence store parking lots. Were they still equal. She leaped on it. “There you go! Just because the kid is black you assume he’s heading for the streets!” I let her know that I didn’t tell her WHICH kid was in the parking lot. (Told you I didn’t have any style with women.)
So, my advice is when someone calls you a racist just agree with them. You get a wonderful “deer in the headlights” look that is priceless. They’re looking forward to seeing you try to talk yourself out of the racist barrel and when you fill that barrel with warm water and take a bath in it you become truely clean, and free. And you that’s one more idiot you don’t have to put up with. A liberal who doesn’t know who they are, and sure as HELL don’t know who you are. Be a full color man.