America Won Today

America Won Today!
by Wilbur

Once in a blue, blue moon someone comes along who makes a difference. Phil Robertson made that difference this weekend. But, it wasn’t just him, it was every American who believed in God, decency, goodness, family and truth. For too long we have put up with the insane gyrations of every fringe group, no matter how crazy, no matter how indecent, no matter how far afield from the standards that founded this country, we just continued to work, keep our heads down and hoped for the best. It came down to one man speaking his mind, giving his opinion, basing these opinions from the Bible and these wackos leaped on him like a bunch of wild dogs. Only problem was they didn’t look behind him. They didn’t look at the millions of Americans who suddenly stood up and said, “ENOUGH!” If a sixty-seven year old man can’t state that he believes what the Bible says we have come to a sad state of affairs. If a man who makes duck calls can’t stand up for decency we have lost something in this country. Well, we didn’t lose it. Even people in New York that wouldn’t know a duck call if it walked up and honked at them stood up.

I have never watched Duck Dynasty, but I intend to now. I’ve never purchased a duck call but I’m going to now. Haven’t read a Bible in a coon’s age, but I’m going to give it another look. And I’m going to be eternally grateful to Phil for waking me up. I’ll be grateful to him for drawing his line in the sand, which I was proud to step across and stand beside him. America will be a better place. We have seen what one old man with a duck call can do. Thank you Phil. Quack! Quack!



It Is What It Is

It Is What It Is
by Wilbur

One of the reasons that I pulled away from the religious community was I found that most Christians obeyed the ten commandments, or eight of their choice. If you differ from them they get that fire in their eyes, and shortly thereafter they try to shove said fire up your ass. And don’t even get me started on the “religion of peace,” Islam, because I do have an opinion, and I DON’T need a bomb in my car. But, I’ve found that when you mix religion and political correctness you get a shit stew.

Phil Robertson is a redneck from Louisiana. My parents are buried near where he lives, so I’ve heard that type of stuff before. He spouts off things I heard in the Baptist church down on Laurel Street when I was five years old in Shreveport, and all the politically correct crowd gasps in snake amazement. What amazes me is two things. One, what does his religious beliefs have to do with a simplistic reality series about duck calls, and two, why didn’t A&E just let this play out? I would have milked this thing for everything it was worth, but that’s just me!

Personally I don’t give a shit what people think. If I can draw a line to the bank, I’m IN! I have beliefs, but they are my beliefs and I rarely share. I don’t condemn anyone, but if I don’t like it I just don’t do it. I’ve had several gay friends and even wrote a series of articles for the Gay Rights folks up in New York explaining constitutionality. I also wrote articles for the FLDS concerning polygamy, which I happen to support, but when I’m out with a gay friend I pick up on girls, and he does whatever floats his boat. Has nothing to do with gun rights, recipes or Obamacare.

Do I find homosexual sex distasteful? Yes. I find all screwing distasteful unless I’m the one doing the screwing. I also don’t like watching someone take a shit, too. I have one pet peeve about gays, however. Years ago a friend of mine was telling me about interviewing job applicants in a call center in Austin. He told me that one thing that amazed him was that a lot of the time, if the person being interviewed was gay, they would eventually point that out as if it was relevant to the interview. He said, “That’s like a straight guy saying, ‘Hey, I really think you should know, I fuck women.”

And I know, know, someone is going to chime in here with some stuff about how much abuse gays, blacks, or whomEVER have been set upon, and how we somehow owe them a get out of jail free card, well friends and neighbors, I’m poor white trash. Where’s MY check? This started out to simply be a comment, and as you can see it grew. No doubt some of my readers, one in particular who will remain nameless will pick it apart, but in the words of the Apostle, Robert Vogan, “It is what it is!”


Natalie and Me

Natalie and Me
by Wilbur

Had a most lively debate last night with a friend of mine, Natalie. I met Natalie some years ago and we have maintained contact even while I was in California. Natalie is a dyed-in-wool liberal Texas democrat! And I’m not kidding, folks. If she could, she would get in a time machine so she could go back just to vote for LBJ! She is also a vet with not one but two tours of Iraq under her pretty little belt, a degree and fills in as a substitute teacher. She has two wonderful children, her eldest, who is going to be a lawyer, I’m sure, and the baby, who crawls around the floor and runs the house. Her husband, Stan is a gun enthusiast who will buy you all the beer you can hold just to visit and talk with you.

Natalie and I don’t agree on anything! If Obama announced tomorrow that we all should eat crap for breakfast she would fire up the stove and break out the corn meal! Oh, I forgot to tell you that she is an excellent cook, and if she fried that crap I’d probably eat it. I, on the other hand, wouldn’t believe Obama if he told me he was black. She is pro-choice, pro-welfare, and anything else on the democratic agenda. She is very passionate about what she believes in and if, like I do, you know how to push her buttons, you can elicit a very spicy discussion out of her at any given moment.

Back when I was in high school, just after the civil war, the term “liberal” had a completely different connotation than it does today. Simply put, as my civics teacher, Mr. Cole told us, a liberal is simply a person who is willing to try new things. Back then I don’t know why we even HAD a republican party in Texas, save that I suppose SOMEONE had to appear on the other side of the ballot so as to make it all look fair. Mr. Cole said that the republicans represented big business and it was the job of democrats to keep them in check. And, besides that, republicans were all Yankees, and we knew what kind of people THEY were! We came out of Mr. Cole’s class wearing our liberal democrat cowboy hats with pride. When I eventually voted I just stepped behind the curtain and voted a straight democratic ticket, and I didn’t care WHO was on that ballot, I would have voted for Hitler if he’d have run for Land Commissioner!

And that system remained in place until Bill Clements became governor. After that it teeter-tottered between parties with short democratic rallies under Mark White and Ann Richards until Jr. Bush took office waiting for pop to vacate the White House, and the Republican party has pretty much held firm ever since. We currently have Rick Perry in there, but he’s a RINO (republican in name only) so I don’t know if he counts or not. He is an elephant that eats republican grass and craps donkey stools. But I digress.

Even though I was appalled at our first republican governor, when the state didn’t fold the first year I relaxed some. I actually began to READ the ballot, and it took me more than thirty seconds to vote after that. As I ventured into business I began to listen to what the candidates said, and slowly but surely I began to swing over to the red side of the booth more and more until I was a one hundred percent republican. I received training under my son, Master Chief Wilbur William Witt III, USN who fine tuned me on the political ideals of the party, but long before that, Natalie was growing up in southeast Texas becoming a chrome plated liberal democrat exactly as I once was. Nat and I crossed paths in 2010 and a fiery relationship was born.

The way America is supposed to work is simple. You have two opposing factions sitting on each side of the isle. They don’t totally agree on anything. The democrats want to give freebies away to their huge voting block and the republicans see themselves as the old guard protecting the conservative interests of what they perceive as the foundation of capitalism. To the democrats republicans look like old grandfathers with huge handlebar mustaches and to the republicans the democrats look like a bunch of pot smoking hippies. And you have to get these guys and gals under one roof and at least TRY to run the country. Nothing ever comes out perfect, case in point the recent budget deal. The democrats would have Obamacare permanently funded until Christ comes back and the republicans would opt to shut down the entire country until we were all selling apples on some street corner. Somehow, they met in the middle and got a deal. This is called “compromise.” The democrats were fairly pleased as were most republicans, save a few folks like Ted Cruz, who slipped off in a corner licking their respective wounds vowing to fight another day.

But, this is what makes it work, folks. And we all have to put up with the spin coming out of both factions, but use a little common sense. Here’s where Natalie and I disagree. She would have free abortions for every single woman who partied too much last night and woke up wearing someone else’s shirt. I would prefer life in prison for anyone who even THOUGHT about doing such a thing and the middle of the road is not easy to find. But we must find it. Throw in the fact that I am a Texas Nationalist because while not having given up on the idea of America I firmly believe that idea has been transplanted to Austin. Natalie went to Iraq and fought for my right to think that way and she is a flag waving federalist. I’m always aware of that when I debate her, and I’m always aware of perceptions. Do you realize that in 1776 the liberals all rallied under George Washington and the conservatives rushed to the crown wondering what was in their three cornered minds? Perceptions!

Natalie and I will find common ground. And what will come out of our debates will be well worth reading. There’s still a little Texan in this girl. I took a swipe at her last night that no one watching picked up on. I told her she should stop acting like a “Yankee” and I’m glad it was an online debate and she was not in the room with me. Talk about the “N” word, use the “Y” word on a Texas girl and see where that gets you! If you’ve ever read any of my books you know I’m infatuated with intelligent, strong women. I’m very infatuated with Natalie. The ghost of Daniel Webster is said to make its appearance now and again and asks, “How stands the country?” Natalie stands with her gay, lesbian, straight, black, white, drunk or sober friends, waves the flag that SHE paid for and replies, “Strong, sir! The nation is strong!” Did I forget to tell you she’s a good shot too?


Pink and Srink

Pink and Stink
By Wilbur

Phil Robinson, of Duck Dynasty, can never be accused of being politically correct. In fact the entire concept of the show is a bunch of politically IN-correct people going about their Louisiana business living the American dream. However, as we’ve all seen in recent years that dream has become a pipe dream. People have become so indoctrinated in being “correct” that they have lost most, if not all of their common sense, and when someone speaks out using said common sense, those of us who have had our collective heads in the sand for so long just try to dig deeper, indeed, even siding with factions that we would NEVER have agreed with, say, ten years ago!

First, lets get the playing field clear. Ok, freedom of speech is guaranteed in the constitution, but here’s where it gets a little sticky. If you are working for someone and you freely say in the coffee shop, during break, that the owner of the company, your BOSS, is a dummy who couldn’t find his way to the Wal-Mart on a sunny day you may be free, but you may also be fired! One must pick and choose their battles and weigh the cost of such battles. That having been said, let’s chime in with a little good ol’ capitalism. If you worked for that company, and had been instrumental in inventing some items that was making that company a ton of money, and everyone knew you had more of that in you, then if the boss took offense and fired you (which is his right) and lost that ability, then perhaps you were right; he WAS too stupid to find a Wal-Mart on a sunny day!

That’s where we stand with Phil Robinson. The Robinsons have handed A&E a golden egg! MANY golden eggs, or should I say duck eggs. And they will continue to lay those eggs for the foreseeable future. Their very NATURE sells the show. They are the perfect paradox. They look like rednecks, but they are Christian, and brothers and sisters, I mean REAL Christians. They have all been through the fire and they KNOW what forgiveness is all about. They love the Lord, Jesus Christ because He has intervened in their lives and they are living the good life now, knowing it’s NOT because of their efforts alone, but because they have turned that corner and obeyed the Lord’s command, and I don’t care what you believe. . . look at the stats! Now check out the boss who can’t find Wal-Mart. A&E decided to kill the golden duck! Dum de dum dum!

A man like Phil Robinson does NOT get to where he is by having no convictions. He is not wishy-washy, he is not stupid, and he is not a liar (unlike some people who will remain nameless who live in a white house!) Phil’s comments were off the cuff, but they rang true. I’d like to remind the gay-lesbian fraternity of a simple fact. You are in the minority. Now, that doesn’t mean that it’s ok to run around spouting hate speech about you, or hurt you, that just means that the tail does not way the dog! MOST people are heterosexual. MOST little boys, growing up, get a crush on Suzie Sweetcheeks somewhere around the 4th grade, and they don’t even KNOW what the attraction is, they just know it feels GOOD! I don’t know if sexual orientation is ordained at birth, and I don’t care, it doesn’t MATTER! If it is, or if it isn’t, there are more of US than there are of THEM! I agree with Phil. Women feel better than men to me. I’m not going to get down and dirty here, but I’d like to point something out to the people who subscribe to evolution. Now, you have two distinct creatures. Down around the waist they are totally different. Still, the difference is compatible, amazingly compatible. These two creatures are totally separate, yet when they come together they are one, and I mean ONE! The union is incredible, and the feelings involved are so strong that the woman will endure childbirth and the man will work himself to death feeding her and that child. What comes out of a homosexual union? First off it IS unnatural. C’mon, get real! There is no way you’ll ever convince me that such an act is natural. A man’s anus is for one thing; a woman’s vagina is for another. Pink and stink. It’s that simple! And the mental angle needs to be considered. A man should be aggressive; a woman should be submissive in the personal relationship. Now I’m not saying that women can’t be smart, aggressive, and profound, but in private moments, most women I’ve know like to be held. Most women like to believe their man is in control. The reasoning is simple. When the baby comes along the man protects and the woman nurtures.

Now let’s talk about sin. Oh, here it comes, I hear it already. A lot of people stopped reading this article right THERE! What is sin? Sin is basically disobedience to God. And what is disobedience to God? Behaving in a way that God did not intend, and if you don’t believe in God, then behaving in a way that is not natural. If you continue to do that and you are a believer you will fall into sin and your life will go down hill, if you are not a believer then you’re life will still go downhill but you just won’t know why. We are only here for a little while and if you don’t keep your ducks in a row they will all swim in different directions.

So, what’s going to happen with Phil Robinson. Well, he’s gonna win, folks. He spoke the truth. If he really loses his show he will just go back to making duck calls because that’s who he is and let me tell you, not everyone in Hollywood is an idiot. There are people out there RIGHT NOW with a contract in hand with Phil’s name on it! Don’t believe me, anyone ever hear of Dog the Bounty Hunter? Hmmmmmm? The Gay-Lesbian spin machine has it’s motor running full tilt, but the rising public opinion is beginning to chime in. Remember what I said, MOST people are heterosexual, and I now ask those people, do you WANT your children and grandchildren to be gay? Forget about coming out, or accepting, or how much you love them. . . do you really WANT that? I have gay friends, I’m not going to lie, and I work with them and accept them, but do I WANT my granddaughter, Puck, being that way? I’m just like most of you. If she is I will not cast her out. I will love Puck forever. Will I preach to her, no, but do I WANT that? NO!

What I want is for every red-blooded American to tune OUT A&E. Let them know that YOU control more purchasing power than any fringe group no matter how loud they may yell, or how many lies they tell. DON’T watch A&E, and don’t support ANY sponsors they have. Stand up for Phil. . . he stood up for YOU!

Wilbur Witt
Austin Texas


BatShit Crazy and Rude

BatShit Crazy and Rude
by Wilbur

I unfriended a couple people this week. That’s not a large number but the reasons are important. The first was a person who consistently wrote in some cryptic code as if the posts were priority of the NSA. Now I have a philosophy about the NSA. I don’t really believe that the people who brought us the Obamacare website can actually spy on more than about sixty people at a time so assuming that you’re every word is scrutinized by the cousin of James Bond is the ultimate in paranoia more well known down here in Texas as BatShit Crazy. Also people who suffer from this wipe Coke cans, block their phone numbers and flush toilettes with their feet. This condition is contagious and I realized that if I continued reading this person’s posts that I, too, would become BatShit Crazy because after a while it would become norm for me.

The other person was rude. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind getting my head bit off here and there when I step out of line but when I make a civil statement acknowledging something normal and get a vulgar rude comment back I am very aware that this person is very impressed with themselves. They ANNOUNCE that they’re coming to town and I say I’d be happy to see them and get this vulgar rant about all the people they don’t like. Kinda like a Facebook version if the knockout game.

The underlying reason I switched off these two numb nuts is my friends. Since my friends see their comments I didn’t want MY friends to be subjected to such nonsense. For if I were not linked to these shallow creatures my other connections may never have to endure thus cyber slop.

Maybe I’m getting old.


Time Was

Time Was
by Wilbur

Time was when you could write, or say anything so long as you didn’t threaten someone or incite violence. The idea of free speech was foundational to the republic. If you were out in left field everyone would just think you were stupid and ignore you. Time was when every little Texas town had a homosexual or two and nobody cared. They stayed off to themselves and the lady’s garden society loved them. Time was when you could swat your kids on the butt in the grocery store and everyone approved you as a good parent. Time was, when stopped for a traffic stop, you would get out of the car and take out your driver’s license as you walked back to the officer, who appreciated your courtesy and respect. Time was you could carry your guns in a rack in your pickup and nobody but the deer cared. Time was when the president said something you respected it even if you didn’t agree because he was the president. Time was when a teacher sent a note home you sided with the teacher simply because she WAS the teacher. Time was if you missed church everybody knew it and one of the routine questions you asked a new friend was what faith did they follow because there simply wasn’t anyone who didn’t believe in God. Time was when you found that your favorite movie star was getting a divorce you were shocked because personally you only knew one person who ever got one and everyone treated them as if they had tuberculosis. Time was if you stood on the constitution in court or anywhere else it was a no brainer because everyone knew the constitution was the constitution and that was that. Time was when a woman stayed home and took care of the kids she was known as a good mother. Time was when the preacher would drop by if word got out that a family was having difficulties. Time was when a dollar was inscribed “Silver Certificate” and stood for an honest dollar which would buy enough gasoline for three days work. Time was if you didn’t have a job you just went to jail until you figured it out. This is the world I lived in in 1957 in Shreveport, Louisiana. Time was…