Dumb and Dumber

Dumb and Dumber
by Wilbur Witt

There will always be people with whom you do not agree. Life would be boring if we all marched to the beat of the same drummer just like if one were to eat cake three times a day. After a while the cake would have no taste. This having been said there are a few things, and opinions that irk me. One is mothers of terrorists with scarfs on their heads. Funny how you all know exactly who I’m talking about. She is so outrageous the media is falling all over itself filming her. She rants and raves with that stupid accent, and now it appears she was right in the middle of the Boston bombings.

Folks, this is not a mother. I had a cat who was a better mother than this bitch! She waves her arms fanatically and has a shrill voice and a face that just wants to make you slap the crap out of her. And she’s coming to America! Why? Grandma Moses can’t get on an airplane without a full cavity search and this idiot thinks she can fly first class to New York? Let me ask you, where did our common sense go? Oh, no doubt Obama will leap to the occasion and defend her rights, throwing in a thought or two about respecting her religion. Hell, why doesn’t he just go over there and give her a lift in Air Force One? She could play with his daughters along the way. I think a reception at the White House might be in order, don’t you?

My old producer used to have a phrase he used when he noticed someone doing something dumb and I think it applies here. We need to pull our heads out of Mr Ass! Yesterday I did a whole day of boosting my friend count on Facebook, and, yes, this was self serving. I want lots of people to read what I write. However, I got a liberal sprinkle of people, good people, who would do anything just for the chance to come to America! This country was built by people like that. Folks who only want the opportunity to come here and work and not have some war lord come out the hills and rob them. We don’t need fanatical Jihadists blowing up our people in the streets because they can’t even get along with their own people back home.

When I was young President Nixon was on a tear trying to keep John Lennon out of the country. Boy! Times sure have changed. Now, I’m just a simple old boy from Austin, but am I the only one who sees this? WE have rights. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. THEY don’t have rights. They have attitude. I think it is absurd to sweat Pablo sneaking over the border to pick a few oranges and send money home to his family, and even CONSIDER letting this slut get on a plane.

If she comes here I wish the FBI would meet her at the gate and arrest her for everything from the JFK assassination forward! I wish they would put her in Gitmo and water board her so much she would think that it was an American toilette custom. Oh, my bad, do they even have toiletries over there? If that woman comes here it is proof positive that our government has lost its mind! I would not want to be a hundred yards from her when she gets to Boston. Hey, I have a good idea. Why don’t we just let the survivors of the attack form a welcoming committee for her. Yeah! That’ll work!


People are People are People

by Wilbur Witt

Back in the day, when I first came upon Facebook, if you could follow it you were lucky. The entire idea of a “wall” was confusing. I pictured it as a sort of cyber graffiti where everything hung in limbo and you could pick and choose as you read. I even went down and bought a book (which I never read) about an inch thick instructing me as to how to explore this new site, and ran straight back to MySpace.

Time and tears went by, and I collected dust. My YouTube channel got properly hacked, causing me to rebuild, but that wasn’t necessity a bad thing. It was sort of like having a garage you always meant to clear out, but never did, and then one day the house burns down and you say, “That’ll work!” all that, and I can’t even remember my MySpace password anymore. (Is there still a MySpace?) I drifted back to Facebook and to my surprise it had began to make sense. Maybe it was my understanding, I don’t know, but communication was actually possible.

Basically I’m a writer. Forty-two years in music, three novels, and scores of articles, a couple of TV shows, I’m pretty much settled into this writing thing. Strangely, for years I didn’t refer to myself as a writer. When I was in Nashville my agent told me never to tell my neighbors that I was a country music writer. The locals considered that trashy. It was better to let them think you were a dope pusher, anything but a writer because that was a blatant admission to being unemployed! So, I still had that frozen in my mind and almost never told anyone that I was really a writer, but that’s what I am. When you see what I call income it’s almost always a royally on something I’ve written.

The net result of this is I churn out articles. I pick a topic and expound on it. I’ve very recently discovered blogging and that is fascinating. I was disappointed with Facebook because almost no one was reading anything I wrote. By this time I was confident. If no one was reading my stuff it simply couldn’t be my fault, Facebook was falling behind in MY expectations. Couldn’t be anything else. I considered trashing the whole Facebook thing again, but I came upon a concept and noticed something. It wasn’t like YouTube, where you counted the pennies until the check rolled in, it was “organic.” The ebb and flow of Facebook was driven by PEOPLE!

YouTube is commercially oriented. When you turn a country music comedian loose in a situation like that what you have is the proverbial fox in the hen house. In no time at all I’d figured out where Youtube’s jugular was and I had viral videos. I thought Facebook was the same but it wasn’t. Facebook people READ! The rule of thumb with YouTube was two minutes and fifty five seconds. Get it in, get it on, get it done, and get on out. Use the right loading format, make it hard and fast, mix in a little music (even if you steal it) and the ads will come, and that’s what you were really after, the ads.

I liked blogs because of their perpetuating nature. You could always improve on a blog. Unlike a video, or song, if you had a second thought you could improve on an existing work, even contradict it if need be. You can’t really re-record a song, nobody will buy it, but if you add to a blog people will follow you like a soap opera and each new entry feeds new life into the blog. Than I discovered something else. You can post the links to Facebook. Ok, now here comes the readers from WordPress, and BlogSpot, and people from Facebook clicking the links and your readers increase, which is a good thing. Add Google + and Twitter and you’re off and running. That, and it’s awfully nice if you really have something to say.

Then you find people. At first I friended almost no one. I was a firm believer in the premise that if you make a better hamburger people will come. I equated self promotion as a form of prostitution. Well, I changed. As other bloggers became aware of me and I noticed that Facebook was making suggestions on my news feed about people who may want to friend me based on mutual friends I began to do The math. Couldn’t hurt. All they can do is ignore me. I began to offer friendship based on these suggestions. I didn’t like the sterile nature of Facebook friends, however, so whenever someone accepted my offer I thanked them and actually looked at their page, learned a bit about them and began to follow what they said.

You can’t possibly know everything about everyone, but you can get the drift of your followers and frankly, write what you believe your audience will read. I mean, don’t lie, but tell it like it is in a way that they’ll like to hear. It also helps that I use an iPad so that I can’t write any faster than I can think. That, and a little Texas common sense, which is like the garlic on a good steak. Say the things that people want to say, but can’t, or don’t know how, so you say it for them. Like yesterday. I jumped all over Islamic fanatics. Now I did this because I don’t like Islamic fanatics. They’re stupid. They are running a three legged race with our government, but people dodge writing about it because a) it’s politically incorrect and b) they don’t wanna get blown the f#%k UP! But it needs to be said, and I have Muslim friends who tell me THEY don’t like them either. People are generally tired of all that crap. And, like most people, I’m tired of having the TSO reach in my pants because 1% of 1% of the world’s population can’t properly read the Qu’ran! Now there are exceptions to everything. If a twenty year old FEMALE TSO officer wants to screen me I’m cool with that, but it’s always a fat guy with a burr haircut. Not cool! Makes you almost want to say, “Please be careful, I just applied my medication.”

I try not to insult anyone’s religion. Frankly I don’t care what god someone prays to. I’ve been married five times, been in country music for forty-two years, and thought PMS meant “pack my shit,” so you’d be SURPRISED what I believe and I don’t share it here! I’m not here to convert people, I’m here to make them THINK! Suffice to say I don’t dodge a subject just because someone may get their shorts in a knot. I look a topic squarely in the face and tell it like it is from the slant of an Austin songwriter.

My aim is to entertain, and perhaps in the process, make a point. Sometimes I’m wrong. I do try to check out my facts a bit these days so my neck doesn’t look so red, but when I see something in the news such as the radical mother of two idiots who killed an eight year old boy trying to come to America to visit her scumbag surviving son in a prison hospital . . .OMFG! Don’t get me started! And she’s an ugly bitch, too, and that’s just unforgivable.

People are people are people. Once you realize that you can generally communicate and get along you have the basic understanding needed for this new world. That, and re-reading your posts helps. If your post doesn’t entertain you then it won’t entertain anyone else. It all boils down to communication. It doesn’t matter if everyone on the planet agrees with you so long as they understand you. I read it all. I try not to personally attack anyone. I stay calm (my doctor tells me I’ll live longer that way) and rest firm in the knowledge that when in do read a bad article, or blog, I know that after a big plate of bullshit there’s nothing like a good cigar!

What Would Happen If . . .

by Wilbur Witt

What would happen if the US pulled all of its troops out of every foreign land we are currently occupying? Now, we’ve got Bin Forgotten. Sadaam is dead as day old beer. Quackdafy died with a sword up his ass, and the Muslim Brotherhood has effectively squelched all tourism in Egypt. All that’s really left is the Saudis hovering over their oil wells like a bunch of mother hens.

I, like so many of you, believed in this “war on terror,” but if we just came home, put our resources in America, and guarded our own borders, do your really think this flock of camel drivers could really do anything? Oh, they look fearsome up there on a video with their towels wrapped around their heads, but really? Really? Bob Hope and Bing Crosby used to make fun of these people and in their day the very thought of them having any effect on world politics was hysterical.

If we took all the money we waste on the “War on Terror,” brought it home, there wouldn’t BE any terror. Homeland Security, you want to secure America, great! Instead of groping our AMERICAN crotches, searching little girls and grandmothers in wheelchairs, why don’t you just not let any more Arabs on our airplanes? Shouldn’t bother the Obama administration at all. I mean they only want to suspend the 1st, 2nd and 4th amendment to our constitution, giving a few ragheads the bum’s rush should be child’s play. And I know I’m being politically incorrect but c’mon! Right now, as I write this article, the mother of the two Boston bombers is trying to come to America. She has been identified as a religious fanatic by the RUSSIANS! The Russians are telling us to watch out for her crazy ass ’cause THEY cant stand her. How stupid should we be? A little boy from Shreveport is searched intensely before flying to Atlanta with his grandmother and we’re letting this bitch get on a plane?

Folks, we need to circle the wagons. If, when 9/11 went down, if we’d gone to Afghanistan, chased Bin Laden into his hole and killed him ( like we finally did), tore up Afghanistan and most of Pakistan in the process, brought his stinking body back here, hung it up in Times Square for all the people to see, and told the people “over there” to just deal with it, and clean up the mess, what do you suppose would have happened? Oh, they’d yell and pray, but in the dark recesses of the ol’ Mosque they’d have whispered, “Maybe them fellers were the ones we should’ve left alone?”

And what if, just what if we made it unprofitable for US companies to exploit resources in those countries? What if there was an import tax on every barrel of oil equal to or greater than the price of said oil, and NO tax on oil coming from anywhere in North America? Oh, that’s unthinkable. Then people like Dick Chaney, and George W couldn’t make no money, right? Folks, this game has been going for too long. And I’ll be honest with you. Now, I’ve poked fun at the Arabs in this article, but if they took Austin, and patrolled the streets we’d be throwing rocks at them, too!

And, sure, a few people are going to get their little feelings hurt. Sure, some Saudis are going to file out in their Sunday sheets and say we are “velly, velly bad peoples,” but we’ll be bad people in control of our country. As far as immigration we need to put Juan at the front of the line, and Habib at the very back! Juan’s ancestors came over here long before the Pilgrims, hell, a lotmof his ancestors were ALREADY here, and if you know the history of the southwest, he didn’t jump our borders, our borders jumped HIM! How many Mexicans were flying planes into buildings on 9/11?

What inspired this article? This morning I watched the mother of the Boston bombers all dressed up in her best dishrag, trying to come to America, ranting and raving about how innocent her boys were. Shades of Ma Barker! I’m not saying all Muslims are bad. I’ve read some very good articles from American Muslims, and yes, as with all other cultures, Islam is becoming Americanized. This is a good thing. But even they are telling us to look out. Even they see this crazy bitch for what she is.

I know there are some people who will not agree with me, but I also know there are more than a few out there right now saying, “Oh, HELL yeah!”

Thoughts on Getting Old

by Wilbur Witt

Well, I finally bowed to the pressure and got a checkup. I wasn’t really surprised that my blood pressure was high. To be honest I knew I needed medication for my cough which is brought on by allergies, and I’ve had all my life. Of course, the doctor leaped on my cigar. We negotiated, but she’s right. I have limited my cigar to one over morning cigar with coffee, and maybe one in the evening while sitting on the porch, and to be honest that hasn’t affected me adversely. I enjoy my morning smoke, and don’t crave them all day. I now take a little pink pill for my blood pressure, and I feel good about that.

When you’re young you wonder what’s gonna get you in the end. As you round the corner of sixty, and approach seventy you slowly become aware of what your fate will eventually be, and this is not a bad thing. The idea is to have a quality of life that is happy, healthy, and not a burden on your family and friends. It’s nice to be able to just move a box without having to plan the move. However, that having been said, this is the period of realization that one is not twenty-three anymore, and most likely will not see one hundred twenty-three.

The very fact that I am writing this article reflects my basic optimism about life in general. Seems that I never was given an even break in my life, and that’s a good thing. It prepared me for this final stage. I had polio and encephalitis when I was three and a half years old. That’s an eye opener no matter who you are. Then, at eighteen, I was crushed between two cars in a filling station parking lot. Boy! Now THAT dates me. How many of you remember filling stations. For the uninformed there used to be businesses where you went to get gasoline, and that’s all they did. You’d drive up, a guy would ask you what you wanted, they would fill your tank, clean you windshield, check your oil, and take your money, all while you sat comfortably in your car. Well, that’s what I was doing on June 13, 1970 when a woman named Hilda came into my station and ran headlong into the car I was servicing, standing in front of it, getting both legs broken in the process.

All of this made me a winner. And, contributed to my mental problem of believing I could do anything I put my mind to. I not only learned to walk all over again, I climbed telephone poles for thirteen years. When I quit that job and plunged into the music business I couldn’t sell a song to save my life, so I invented Weird Wilbur, wrote adult country and sold THAT! When I couldn’t get a gasoline credit card I worked until I owned not one but three mansions in Berry Creek. When I couldn’t get distribution for my music I worked diligently until I had them on iTunes because I could clearly see the end of the old order and the beginning of something very new and exciting. Publishers sent my books back over and over, but I self published and in time the world saw the birth of things like Amazon, and Barnes and Noble, and my books are now world wide. You can even download them.

When you have a man who does these things you have a man who generally thinks he’s right about just about everything. You tell him he’s getting older and needs to take care of himself and you get, well, resistance. What I needed to understand was that I couldn’t run I second gear all the time anymore with the motor revving at 4000 RPMs . I needed to shift into overdrive, let the motor run slower, and actually produce more product with less effort. In a word I had to throttle back. This is very hard to do. I have to learn this trick.

I don’t want to become lazy. I definitely don’t want to be one of those old farts who uses his age as an excuse to have other people wait on his every beck and call. I will continue to produce. If I can’t be the singer ill be the writer or producer, giving advice about things I’ve learned over the years. I will write better books, selling more, having more money. If the weather in Texas doesn’t suit me I will buy a winter home in California. I will survive.

Everyone gets old. Everyone dies. On every tombstone there is a date, a dash, and another date. The idea of life is to concentrate on the dash, not the dates. In the meantime I’ll be sitting here writing and taking my little pink pill.

Did I Say “Stupid?”

Freedom of the Press
by Wilbur Witt

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

Did I miss something here? I mean, I know the Obama administration has this slight problem with reading the English language, but this paragraph seems to be pretty black and white, doesn’t it? Oh, bad choice of words. I meant to say this paragraph is clear. Alex Jones Tweeted today this message:

@RealAlexJones: Secret Service tried to block press from bombing questions? http://t.co/2tBkIbTJWD.

Now I don’t agree with everything Alex says all the time, but I am a listener. Even if I disagree with his conclusions at times, to have goons try to intimidate one of his reporters for simply asking a question is beyond the pale.

I don’t know the final story of the Boston bombings. As I said yesterday I rest on the idea that people who work for the government are simply not as smart as they project themselves to be. I mean, c’mon, two jerk offs set off two bombs they made out of firecrackers right under the noses of the Feds WHILE presumably the government gumshoes were actually conducting a drill on what to do should a bomb attack occur! Except that three people died that’s pretty funny right there all by itself. Then they get into a gunfight with the two suspects and one actually shoots his way out of the situation only to be found by a little old man with a boat. Now these are facts, folks.

What Alex (and Glenn Beck)


are keying up on is that there seems to be yet another conspirator in the mix. Some Saudi guy, with a rap sheet as long as his arm got blown up in the explosions, ended up in the hospital, was up to be deported and then Obama meets with some representative of the Saudi government and basically backs off this guy, and instructs his Secret Service to squash questions about him at a press conference.

If everything is as the government claims it to be then why not just take the gentleman’s question, field it, and put it to rest? And who ever put a golden force field around the Saudis anyway? Every time a Saudi is involved in anything Obama squats and pisses. Did I miss something here. These are the same people who gave us nineteen hijackers back on 9/11, right? Come to think of it, why did we invade Afghanistan? Seems to me a nice war in Mecca would have solved more problems, but I’m just a simple ol’ boy from Austin, so what do I know. Holy crap! I’m starting to sound like Alex!

Ok, first they want our guns. Then they want to fix it so that you can’t protest the president within 300 yards or so. Now we’ve evolved to the point that even a reporter can’t ask a question they don’t like! I’ve noticed something alarming. Back in the day when the Russian news would put out a story we would all laugh because it was so obviously pumped up with Vodka soaked BS that no one in their right mind attached any credibility to it. Now, I finding myself listening more and more to the Russian press because they don’t have to lie. Like Will Rodgers said, they just watch our government, and report the facts.

I’ve always had a distrust of government for precisely the reasons I gave you yesterday. But basically it boils down to a few simple facts. They’re stupid, lazy, clouded, illiterate, mamby-pamby . . .oh, did I say stupid? Makes you want to be at that press conference, in force, jack those two goons and simply ask, why the hell are you dodging the question. Just stop LYING and do your freaking JOB! You can’t stop home brewed terrorists, so just tell us you can’t and we will take care of it from there! I think a good start would be to address this Saudi situation and a good way to do that is to stop buying their oil. You see, we here in the Republic of Texas have a vested interest in that. We happen to think the we can be self sufficient, have an honest government, and answer questions at a press conference without a TelePrompTer.

Do I think there is a vast conspiracy? No! Simply because I can see the people surrounding Obama. (Did I mention stupid?) what I do think is , when this administration finally goes off to build ITS presidential library, we will have a benchmark on how to NOT run a government!

Conspiracies, Anyone?

by Wilbur Witt

There was a tweet on Infowars today pointing out that one of their reporters had been blocked, apparently by Secret Service, from asking questions at a certain press conference concerning the bombings. Again we have the idea that the government is some vast conspiracy machine grinding out plots and misinformation to the public. Now, I’m not saying they don’t have their little secrets but what I am saying is their scuttlebutt doesn’t amount to much.

Look at your average government employee. Rule number one; people who seek out government jobs do so by and large because they a) can’t cut the mustard in the private sector and b) they will give up a lot of earning potential for job security. This does not apply to the military or police who generally exhibit a level of professionalism of the first degree and are truly dedicated to their jobs. No, this is people who earn a law degree and go to work for a salary simply because they don’t have the ass to hang out a shingle and find clients.

These people shake and quake at each budget hearing, and will cover their butts every chance they get. There’s your conspiracy, folks. “If they find out how stupid I really am I may have to find a JOB!” This is why two losers can set off bombs, this is why 19 hijackers can get on a plane. This is why Mexicans have a traffic jam jumping the fence in the California desert. These employees will never give you a straight answer. Now take a look at the other side of the coin, the conspiracy buffs. Alex Jones, a self actuating, intelligent, determined individual who created his own market, found a way to make money at it, and is way smarter than say, Eric Holder. Y’all remember Eric, right. Gives guns to the drug cartel to see if they will use them. Or like Hillary, the lady who can’t seem to send the MPs to an embassy that’s under attack, a decision a corporal doing CQ at Fort Hood could have made over a cup of coffee. Folks like that. We used to call them dumb-asses, but with the Patriot Act I don’t know if that’s allowed anymore Then, when they finally bow out they are lavished with speeches on what a wonderful public servant they were. Jumping Jesus on a Stick!

And these are the people giving updates on major events. Now, they can’t admit that basically they got bamboozled by a couple of punks with “Terrorist” stenciled on their asses, they have to come up with a cover story that will make them look like super sleuths and explain how they saved us all by solving the crime of the century, which they didn’t do, an old man checking his boat called the cops and THEY caught Osama II! Thank God these “Public Servants” aren’t up against John Dillinger!

The bottom line is if you are anxiously waiting to see how this vast government conspiracy will play out go to Starbucks instead, you’ll get more out of it. They will muddy the water as much as they can and you will see it all fizzle out because people with law degrees that seek out government jobs can’t complete anything! If they could then they would be in an office in New York, or Austin doing divorces, wills, and bankruptcies. I watch them every day and they remind me of an old Richard Pryor joke. “…been talking thirty minutes, ain’t said shit!”

We seriously need to get a government. We really need some people involved who aren’t worried about being politically correct and just concern themselves with being politically RIGHT! I have to ask you, and work with me here, what would happen if on Monday the Government just shut down, went out of business and the states had to worry about themselves? If this thought excites you then you are part of the solution. If this scenario frightens you then you are part of the problem! Think about that.

Law West of the Pecos

What We Burn In Our Crazy Minds
by Wilbur Witt

Last night I must have sat through four hours of various conspiracy theories concerning the Boston Bombings. Like layers of an onion, as I peeled back each part more complexity was exposed. I shared a lot of this on my Facebook page. The people behind this have a whole vocabulary that goes with the show. Things like, “New World Order,” and “Drills,” and “False Flags.” They fit their scenarios together like pieces of a vast mental puzzle. With the bombings the running theory is that the two bombers were embedded CIA operatives who were sacrificed for the purpose of forwarding more power shift toward Obama and the proliferation of gun control. The mother and aunt and father have all come out ranting and raving about this, complete with those horrible Russian accents, and the “alternative” media is lapping that up like hound dogs on spilled gravy. One theory even tied the Boston bombing with the event in Waco. The guy continually looks into the camera and repeats, “Fertilizer?” He obviously has never blown stumps on a ranch. Yeah kid, fertilizer!

Then the surviving bomber scribbles on a pad the he and his brother did the attack all by themselves with no help, no finance, and no problems with the FBI, police, or even the zoning commission. They picked the marathon because it was in the STREET! No doubt the conspiracy theorists will respond with the idea that the kid is protecting his comrades so that they can continue the fight. Yeah, right! Ok, first off this kid is a pot head. Look at him. This little bastard crawled right out of a yellow submarine and followed his lunatic, religious nut brother to hell. The theorists claim the FBI, CIA, whomEVER was feverishly trying to kill this punk. I personally have never seen a more restrained bunch of cops in my LIFE! What, with robots, helicopters, and heat seeking cameras, I personally would have lobbed a REAL grenade in there, collected the pieces, bought the guy a new boat and called it a day.

I have a theory, and a prejudice. In my life I have never seen our government successfully carry out anything. I mean look at it. We couldn’t invade Cuba, could conduct a burglary a crackhead could pull off, and couldn’t get a blow job with the secret service watching for the wife at the door! Now, you want to be alarmed about the government well, there you are. Now, under Obama they are proving they can’t add, can’t slap a fat kid in Korea, and can’t negotiate the price of a whore in South America. I learned how to pay whores in Mexico in the tenth grade! We catch fish off Alaska, send them to China to pay the interest on our debt, who in turn, bring the fish right back to us and sell them to McDonald’s. We import avocados from Mexico, covered with crap, while thousands of acres of them bake in the sun of Southern California. All all of this courtesy of the federal government! They are STUPID!

The congress and senate are as useless as the tits on a boar hog, and the Supreme Court, OMG, don’t get me started, we would do better letting rulings be handed down by Judge Roy Bean. You begin to understand why we here in Texas just want to leave. I’m not going to say anything about Obama because if you criticize him you’re labeled a racist so I’ll just say he runs around with the vice president who is an idiot.

If our government could pull off one conspiracy, just one, I would feel more secure. Maybe invade Indonesia, after a major quake and tsunami, and WIN the war, then I would feel a whole lot better. But don’t hold your breath. We have to beat them Arabs who presently are holding their ground with pipe bombs and fried goat before we can even think about taking on any country as formidable as say . . . Mexico!

And the conspiracy buffs are all up in the air about the law passed this last week allowing this same bunch of Keystone Cops to spy on the Internet. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure they’ll do that job with the same fervor they had when they checked out these two kids who were constructing LAND MINES in their freaking DORM ROOM! And when you watch a conspiracy theory pay close attention to what they are selling. That’s right, they have ads. They sell everything from packaged food to how to books on hiding in a hole in the ground. Follow the money, folks. Just follow the money.

The strength of America is not the government, it’s the people! If the government would just get out of the way and let the American people work we’d all be a lot better off. Forget about the FED, forget about gun control, forget about the Middle East and start growing wheat, building cars and drilling for oil, and move all those businesses to Austin where they should’ve been all along!

Reflections on a Good Cigar

by Wilbur Witt

It has been one hell of a week. Not one, but two tragedies. Now the conspiracy grinders pour out their theories, and we all have to sit through that nonsense. In the midst of all this I finally managed to get a good night’s sleep last night. Woke up,this morning and went to my back porch, poured a cup of coffee, lit a Cuban seed cigar, and read the news.

This time of year in Texas is nice. Temperature is about seventy-five degrees, low humidity, a lot like California. Texas only has two seasons, too damn cold and too damn hot, but for a period of about thirty days between the two it is actually very nice. The Yankees call it Spring, I think.

The cigar and a good cup,of coffee makes me think, and when I think, I write. I have this expansive back porch, like you’d see on a hotel in the old west, really like the porch Judge Roy Bean had, that I have my mornings on. Leads to the pool, and a playground area. Actually quite nice. I was just prejudiced because my condo in SoCal had a view of the desert and Mount San Jacinto, while I have a view of the main drag in beautiful downtown Killeen here, but my area is nice, and the fire trucks and police provide a lot of entertainment.

I got off cigarettes. Got on them out in Cali and let me tell you, when you quit cigarettes, and go back to premium cigars it’s like you quit smoking! With cigarettes you concentrate on inhaling because there’s no flavor and the damn things only last about three minutes, so it’s like having sex with a girl in her twenties. You know it’s not going to last that long so you make it as hot as fast as you can and hope to God she’s impressed. Now a good cigar! Half the battle is keeping it lit. You might need to relight here and there, but it lasts a long time. And there is flavor. You don’t lunge into inhaling, letting the aroma drift over your nose and mouth, and the cigar is never quite completely smoked. Somewhere along the band you set it down and let it die with dignity, rather than crushing it out and breaking its neck like a cigarette. All this, and you can still relight it should you refill your coffee and wish a few more minutes.

My cigars smell so good that when I was going through my last divorce and living alone at Berry Creek, my soon to be ex came by and accused me of having a woman in the house. I had this guilty look all over my face because I had been smoking in the house and what she thought was a woman’s perfume was the lovely lavender smell left by a box of Cubans my son had smuggled to me.

This house belongs to my husband in law. He’s married to my ex. They live in what used to be my house about two miles from here and I keep this place up for them. I also sideline as day care for five of my grandchildren, all under seven, and we grill on the porch every night. I have the alarm set on my iPhone to go off at 5:00 PM. It’s that buzzer alarm sound, and when it goes off the kids think it’s saying, “EAT, EAT, EAT!” They run to the porch and dance around the grill like wild Indians.

All this gives me time to concentrate on writing and selling what I’ve written. What’s held me back for so many years is the fact that I had to work to live and the writing was always secondary. Now I can write and develop, and finally just come out of the closet and admit I am a writer. That freaks my sister out, I think. How a writer makes money is always a mystery to the uninitiated. I’ve made money writing. Ask the IRS.

I’ve got to finish my fourth novel, CenterVille, by October. Going to visit my son in SoCal for his retirement party, and while there I’m going to try to sell it. Then I’m going to write a book called, Solutions. The blogging thing has been kind to me. I didn’t take it seriously at first, but so many bloggers out there have helped me, and it did a lot of good to “mix with the crowd,” that I have developed more, if that were possible. When you’re a songwriter you work in the dark recesses of some studio somewhere, usually alone, and there is little or no interaction with others. This new medium is social, and that’s a good thing, I think.

I’ve decided to stay on Facebook. I’ve noticed that there are a lot of people that prefer that format, and they like to read what I write, so the click of one key doesn’t tax me much and it keeps old friends happy. I don’t worry so much about quantity anymore, opting for quality. I would rather have one person understand what I write than ten thousand hits that ultimately go nowhere.

I’m caving into pressure to see a doctor. Not a damn thing wrong with me, but my ex, and my husband in law, with all of their health issues, simply cannot imagine that anyone can be sixty-one and doing fine. They thought I was losing too much weight. No, since Cali I’ve just been eating right and I weigh what I SHOULD weigh. They worry about my prostate. Nope, works just fine, I have a nineteen year old girl friend. Of course they don’t like my martinis and cigar, well, pardon me for being a man! That, and my people tend to live into their nineties, and I think genetics might have something to do with that. But, to pacify them I will get a check up. Then I’ll just go back to living.

I don’t feel as if this is the final chapter of my life. I feel that I’ve just graduated from the school of life and the best is yet to come. I grew up in the sixties so I’m unimpressed by all this talk about Obama being a communist Muslim. How’d anyone come up with that? Aren’t communists supposed to be atheist? I’m just a simple old boy from Austin so these things are way over my head. I’ll just keep writing, trying to blend in a little west Texas common sense, and make sure, “EAT, EAT, EAT” happens on time every night.

Religious Freedom

by Wilbur Witt

When the Pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock in 1620 the main premise that drove them was the idea that all people should be able to worship God in whatever fashion they found acceptable. This idea was embedded into the American fabric of its society, and down through the years although there has been some intolerance, by and large Americans observe the rule that church is church and that is that.

These people coming off the Mayflower had a concept of different faiths that is fairly conservative when viewed through 21st century eyes. To them a Catholic was way out there. As the nation grew the advent of Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Seven Day Adventists, and God knows how many others, began to expand our understanding of diversity, but it was still somewhat Christian, and definitely American.

The protection in the Bill of Rights extends protection to all religions, but let’s look at something as it really is. You may not like the Mormons, but they didn’t set a bomb off in Boston. You may get irritated at the two little old ladies at your door trying to give you a magazine, but they aren’t flying a jet into any buildings. Only one religion does those things. I know this stings, but just look at the facts. Not even ten years of good living, education, fine food, and fast cars could take the rage out of those two young men in Boston. The poison is so deep seated that there is no cure.

They don’t belong here. They belong over there. They are not, and will never be American, nor will they understand the concepts that built this nation. They don’t have the slightest idea of what it means to be an American. Even Juan Sanchez, slipping through the fence near El Centro understands that, and he, at least, is a Christian!

Now this article is a bitter pill, but how many more bodies do you need to see before you get it? We can’t even have a marathon without the insane actions of people who eat our food and vomit in our face. We can’t wear shoes going to a flight because some idiot tried to blow up a plane to prove some vague religious ideal. How long are we, as Americans, going to put up with this before we just rise up and throw them all out? Send them back to Stupidstan, or wherever. Let them scream at the top of their lungs, mutilate their women, murder their children, but do it over THERE!

Notice how I didn’t name this religion? I’m just saying to look at all the world’s religions. It’s the one that simply doesn’t work! It’s the one that when it presents itself to any civilized nation the reaction is violent and immediate. The actions of this last week have proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that these people cannot exist in a civilized society. This is not a hate article. All I’m saying is that there are some people that must be with their own kind. How many more eight year old little boys do you you need to see blown to bits?

” Oh Wilbur! How can you condemn an entire people?” It’s easy. I’m not marching them into a gas chamber. I’m just suggesting we send them back home where everything is so great. That way they don’t have to put up with the Great Satan anymore. They don’t have to put up with hamburgers, nice cars, girls that smell good, or decent housing. And we won’t have to put up with anything any weirder that two boys at the door trying to talk about Joseph Smith.

There Will Always Be A Pat Garrett

by Wilbur Witt

The bombings in Boston and the running gun battle that followed demonstrated a bitter truth we all have to face. There are bad people in this world, and no amount of police protection under whatever label it sports can protect the population. Police clean up after the fact. By the time they show up the perpetrator is already gone. The two bombers just strolled into the Boston Marathon and detonated two bombs.

Bad people are all around us. If you look at the wanton violence that they are capable of you can quickly understand that an unarmed, unprotected populace is very unwise. These people will not stop killing simply because only police have guns. The gentleness of the people of Boston added to the picture of the explosions. The people of Boston, no doubt, are very much into gun control. Right now the city is locked down, with residents being told not to answer their door while a crazy man runs the streets. His father back in Russia is threatening carnage if his next son is killed, citing some organization existing in the shadows. How confident would these people be if there was at least a shotgun waiting behind every door, and an angry Bostonian ready to use it?

People like the bombers perceive Americans as weak. The very fact that they bombed a happy event demonstrates their predator personality. If you will note they didn’t bomb a Biker Bar in El Paso, Texas! Fact is we will always have gentle people who wouldn’t hurt a fly, but we need other people who would hurt a fly, or bomber, and will protect and defend those people who only want to run marathons.

The two young men who set the bombs off are quite simply animals. They don’t need to be brought to trial, we do not to be subjected to endless hours of testimony by psychologists trying to explain what was in their heads, they need a bullet in their head! People with their mindset need to understand that justice can be swift, and final, and their loud-mouth father back in Russia needs to have his butt whipped. No one tried to understand the motives of Billy the Kid, Pat Garrett just shot him in the back of the head.

Christopher Dorner, Adam Lanza, Jodi Arias, and the list goes on and on. These people will not just go away, but take heart because there are more of us than them! There will always be those of us who do not shrink from horror, and will always do what needs to be done. There will always be a Pat Garrett!